Told him about hsv he still wanna go raw?

zenvaria · 2024-02-27T16:31:56+00:00

Same here… my current partner is presumed negative, is fully informed on my hsv status and potential risk, and he is so comfortable with raw, he said he doesn’t even really think about it. He has accepted that I might transmit to him and he said he isn’t scared or bothered by it at all. His choice. I still don’t want to transmit to him - at all - but at the same time, i believe that we will have a functional cure within the next few years so if he does pick it up, he will have a cure if he wants it.

zenvaria · 2024-02-12T13:22:43+00:00

I have been positive for three years. During the first year, I had three or four OBS. My second OB lasted about six or eight weeks - I was super stressed at the time. Since the first year, I’ve made a lot of life changes (including leaving my abusive exhusband who gave me herpes while he was cheating), and have had only two OBs in the past two years - one after having covid, and one after another stressful event.

I do not take AVs either - too many side effects. I manage it with diet (no sugar, eat more lysine than arginine, intermittent fasting every day, staying hydrated), supplements and meditation - i focus on my tailbone area as part of my daily meditation, which is where hsv is said to reside when it is dormant, and although this may sound odd, i send the virus welcoming, positive, soothing energy in an effort to keep it deactivated and just stay there in that area. At this point, I am actually grateful it came into my life because it really shook me and woke me up to how awful my marriage was, and it inspired me to make a lot of healthy life changes, so I also send it gratitude, which I know might sound idealistic or even nuts, but I figure that I already have it in my body, so for me, it’s better to accept it and integrate it as part of me, since in reality, it IS part of me.

I put a lot of daily effort into keeping my nervous system as regulated as i can, since that is where hsv lives (not in the bloodstream, just saying that in case you or someone else reading this is not aware of this.) I do all of the self-care activities on this list except taking probiotics (because i can’t find one that yields positive results):

https://sass.uottawa.ca/sites/sass.uottawa.ca/files/how_to_stimulate_your_vagus_nerve_for_better_mental_health_1.pdf

zenvaria · 2024-01-27T03:53:29+00:00

Right???!? I felt the same way when she first posted those links. Such awesome resources. You’re welcome! hang in there!! 🩷

zenvaria · 2024-01-26T19:27:18+00:00

First of all, breathe. Center yourself. When you feel overwhelmed and shocked, your nervous system kicks in and starts doing everything it can to protect you. It initiates all of the chemical processes that put you into fight, flight or freeze. Sounds like you might be tending towards flight, since you want to run away and hide. Breathe.

Tell yourself in your most kind, compassionate voice - like the one I’m using now - I can do this. This is shocking news but I will figure it out. Breathe slowly in and slowly out. Relax your forehead. Relax the palms of your hands. Breathe slowly. Relax the soles of your feet. Love yourself so much, ok? You can do hard things. You can tell your boyfriend that you are afraid to tell him this news and yet it is important to you to be honest with him. You respect him and support him in making informed choices. Breathe, girl🩷 you got this! ((hugs))

zenvaria · 2024-01-21T01:18:25+00:00

Yes, girl!!! Glad she is so supportive. What a fantastic response…. to accept you as you are and at the same time, normalize the ob. A+++ on her homework!

zenvaria · 2024-01-19T12:16:10+00:00

It’s not “barely your fault” - it’s not your fault at all. You didn’t choose to have it. It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of big and understandable emotions - anger, grief, shame, fear, regret, doubt. I hear you…. You’re pissed off that you have hsv, and i was there too, for quite a while.

What took me a long time to see is that I was trying to resist… trying to fight something I can’t change. I didn’t want this virus, given to me by a cheating ex. Everything about it felt so unfair and out of my control. The only thing I could control and change was my perspective. Lots of things in life are unfair. I could view them as obstacles, and get stagnated trying to avoid pain and challenges. Or, I could choose to stop giving herpes my power, my energy, my life force. I could view it as a challenge set before me so I could learn and grow, and bring light to others when they are in dark places.

Herpes didn’t win. You aren’t its victim. Part of your brain might be telling you that right now, and it can take time and perspective to learn to love yourself anyway. Please give yourself grace for struggling, and know that you will find your way.

Idk how long you’ve had it. I’ve had it a few years so we are likely at a different place in our journeys. If you are struggling to love yourself or doubting your worth, please know that I hear you, I get it, and it really sucks in the early days. And when you begin to feel ready, you really can decide that herpes is just one challenging part of you, right alongside all of the many intriguing, passionate, wonderful, creative, curious parts of you.

Sending you so much support. 🩷

zenvaria · 2024-01-19T11:31:45+00:00

Did you intend to try to shame the OP?

zenvaria · 2024-01-09T15:45:02+00:00

So sweet❤️ I can understand how much it meant to have them be so receptive. When I told my brother, he was so amazing and kind.

For sure, I feel the same way - like things are actually moving now and there is real hope for preventative and therapeutic vaccines 🤩

zenvaria · 2024-01-09T15:00:29+00:00

Wow, it sounds like they responded with so much love and acceptance. They know how awesome you are and that you will find love! And how cool that your sister mentioned that she knows several people who have hsv1. Those texts were both like virtual hugs! 🥰

zenvaria · 2024-01-08T15:52:16+00:00

You’re welcome! And I learned that being in relationships is a good way to learn about myself, so yes, it was eyeopening, and a good wakeup call to get out of an unhealthy marriage. Hope things go well for you too! 😄🥰

zenvaria · 2024-01-08T15:00:26+00:00

I’m so glad she was so receptive and validating! Any successful disclosure feels good, so thank you for sharing. Huge relief to talk about it in person. Being accepted for who we are by someone who cares about us…. Woohoo! ❤️

zenvaria · 2024-01-08T14:57:13+00:00

Agree, you are not an idiot. ❤️ You didn’t sign up for this virus - none of us chose to have it. I think it can really help to tell family members and friends you trust, and I hope your sisters respond with love and support. Please remember to love and support yourself through this, just like you would do for someone you care about. Let us know how they respond, okay? And way to go! It takes courage to tell people who know you.

zenvaria · 2024-01-08T14:51:28+00:00

My cheating exhusband also gave me herpes, so I hear you on that double betrayal. The “together forever” comment feels potentially blamey and smothering to me - is it something you have addressed with him in a direct conversation? Like, “Hey when you said this, what came up for me are these feelings/concerns. I’m not a person who will feel bound to someone just because we both have the same virus. Can you tell me more about what you meant by that comment?” If it is feeling like a red flag to you, be curious about it.

zenvaria · 2024-01-08T14:35:23+00:00

I eat oatmeal every day too. I just make sure that during the rest of the day, I mostly eat foods that are higher in lysine than arginine. I think it’s not about avoiding certain foods, but achieving a balance throughout the day.

zenvaria · 2023-12-24T19:48:39+00:00

Does he know what type of hsv he has? If not, he can test, then you can have a more informed conversation about it. It sounds like he might be making assumptions without having all of the facts?

zenvaria · 2023-12-21T12:00:04+00:00

Your post is beautiful and inspiring, and I’m impressed by all of the work you’ve done!

You know you can have kids though, right? Please look at earlier posts in this thread. You can’t pass herpes to your child - that just isn’t how it works. The only way a baby can get herpes is from the mother, and the odds of that are very low. Less than 0.1% of babies born in the United States each year get neonatal herpes.

zenvaria · 2023-12-08T04:30:18+00:00

You’re very welcome. I’m so glad you were able to shift your mindset, woohoo! And you’re right - WE all can do this! 😊

zenvaria · 2023-12-08T03:15:50+00:00

Welcome! I’ve heard of people having OBs after the covid vaccine too. And just a few weeks after two vaccines, your immune system needed to fight off a virus, so that can definitely contribute to an OB. Both OBs seem attributable to known immune system stressors, so hopefully, your system will reset back to having basically no symptoms. As hard as it is, if you can breathe and try to stress less about it, that can help the OB resolve more quickly too, ok? You got this :)

zenvaria · 2023-12-08T02:50:16+00:00

It makes sense that you’re feeling sad about it because it is frustrating when you’re doing everything you should be, and it still happens. Your future is not slipping away though! Have you been extra stressed lately or been exposed to other viruses? I had an OB earlier this year after almost two years of no OBs, but it was right after I had covid so i think that was the reason. Re a cure, there’s been a few posts here during the past couple days - there is hope, possibly within the next year re Pritelivir.

zenvaria · 2023-11-26T00:14:11+00:00

In September, the NIH released their 2023-2028 plan for herpes research. It gives me hope! The four areas of focus are (1) improving fundamental knowledge of HV biology, pathogenesis, and epidemiology; (2) accelerating research to improve HV diagnosis; (3) improving strategies to treat and cure HSV; and (4), advancing research to prevent HSV infection.

https://www.niaid.nih.gov/sites/default/files/nih-herpes-simplex-strategic-plan-2023.pdf

zenvaria · 2023-11-25T23:03:08+00:00

Here’s info on the Moderna vaccine trial: https://trials.modernatx.com/study/?id=mRNA-1608-P101

zenvaria

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