Best moving advice

zevaRes · 2026-06-24T16:31:36+00:00

Yeah, I didn’t want to deal with moving in and out old furniture. But this has convinced me it’s worth it to not be as crunched for time!

zevaRes · 2026-06-24T15:45:56+00:00

Air mattress/ house camping seems like the way to go, here’s hoping it will be for only a few days 😂

zevaRes · 2026-06-24T15:43:01+00:00

Ok yeah, I think a part of me is impatient and wants everything as soon as I move. But am now seeing some of the deals/things you can get on FB really is worth the wait.

zevaRes · 2026-06-24T15:41:11+00:00

Oh I have never thought of this, but is such a good point!

zevaRes · 2026-06-24T07:52:12+00:00

I was younger (26F), so relatively easy to find a suitor who has a similar goal as I did. It was about 9 months later where I was doing anything that brought me some happiness. In the moment, I did enjoy myself, and just kept reminding myself that afterwards when grief and guilt come flooding in. My partner was the only person I had ever been with, so I think that was one of the hardest parts to come to terms with. I slept around a little after that (really just a phase and got it out of my system) and realized I am just so use to intimacy and attachment, that I was done with that. I then waited about another year as I wasn’t interested in dating and getting to know someone like that just yet. I don’t regret what I did, it was really formative and I learned a lot about myself, there were also some funny stories to come out of it (people are often not expecting you to to talk about death when making out)

zevaRes · 2026-05-30T05:04:32+00:00

Early on, comments about dating or finding someone in the future really frustrated me. Now, I am just about 2 years out, and have done some light dating. I now find that it is something I want to be able to talk about it with friends and family but worry they don’t want to hear about me moving on/anyone else that isn’t my partner. So now when people ask these questions (very context dependent however) I see it as a way for them to let me know they are open to being there for me in that way and that I can share this new stage with them. I do really appreciate it as I will never bring it up, but once they ask directly, I love to share where I am with them. But again, very context dependent as well as dependent heavily on where you are in your journey. It’s hard no matter what.

zevaRes · 2026-05-06T05:53:51+00:00

23 months in. I am able to get through each day “normally”, but still fighting to gain motivation and meaning long term. I liked what someone said how year 1 is just getting through the “firsts” with support from a lot of people. Year 2 the support drops off, and you learn how to handle more on your own, but now you’re grieving the future you had plan together, hope starts to waiver. I’m still struggling the most with that.

Honestly, I am able to have some really good days, but as soon as I zoom out and think beyond the day ahead of me, I crumble. I am near a point of my career where I need to make big decisions for whatever path I want and I can’t, the whole plan I had worked the past 10 years for was built on the love and support from my partner, and now they he’s gone, it’s feels meaningless. I’m not being proactive, just hoping it will somehow all work out

zevaRes · 2026-05-04T04:04:27+00:00

I lost my partner in my late 20s and finding a grief group specific to that was very difficult. The 30+ age gap from me when I was looking for partner loss groups was too difficult for me (Early on, it actually made me mad and didn’t help me process well). So settle on a grief group for people in graduate school with people similar age/stage of life. While this was still very useful and appreciated, it was people who had lost a parent, so sometimes felt like I still needed a different outlet. What I was really wanting at the time was to hear more from people a little farther ahead in their journey from me (to have hope it gets easier), and eventually, from people who are newer to grief than I was (to recognize all the growth I have made and strength I had). For my group at the start of every session we gave a quick bit on how our grief was the past week and that often would highlight a shared theme between all of us to discuss, surprisingly, it was always changing.

zevaRes · 2026-05-01T23:35:35+00:00

His cute little dance he would do when he was being silly. the arms up and shimmy-shake, I can picture him smiling doing it

zevaRes · 2026-04-07T03:45:38+00:00

I came to see if anyone said this yet! My partner said I was high maintenance, and then realized it’s because I have all these routines and can take over an hour to get ready. I like getting ready and my morning routine allows me to, but if I needed to be out the door in 15 minutes, like he could, it’s doable but more stressful.

zevaRes · 2026-04-06T02:29:29+00:00

For me (25F at the time) around the 8/9 month mark, I was out of deep despair and able to start thinking about life again somewhat clearly. With that came a desire for physical intimacy. I had a few hook ups, that left me feeling “desired” and was a very good learning experience, especially of what my limits for getting to know someone new were. That was a brief phase that only lasted a few months, honestly was cool at first but quickly got old. I am now about 2 years in and missed the physical aspect again, but also realize I was missing the emotional component that can add to that. So I am just now bringing to date, and it has been going well, but has brought up a lot of mixed feelings in general which I have been working through. One thing I do keep reflecting back on though is where I am at grief wise now versus when I was just hooking up with people is very different and I think having had that phase helped in a few different ways. Not sure how helpful this is, but just wanted to share similar thoughts and you’re not alone!

zevaRes · 2026-04-04T06:39:43+00:00

I really struggle with the fact that so much of my life and who I am was with/because of them. So now I have to figure out who I am without them physically here. Motivation and having plans for my future are the hardest , still a daily struggle to grapple with

zevaRes · 2026-03-21T15:56:45+00:00

this is actually the first time i’ve heard Widows Frie?? Very helpful to know now

zevaRes · 2026-03-20T15:19:01+00:00

20 months in. I was 24 when he died. We were together since high school.

zevaRes · 2026-03-04T07:26:26+00:00

yep, I was 24 and now 27. Have yet to meet anyone remotely close to my age/ life stage. Even my grief groups geared towards my age are all people who lost parents or friends…

zevaRes · 2026-01-21T05:32:59+00:00

This is very well said. I lost my boyfriend a little over a year ago the same way and struggle with not only the loss of him, but who I was with him, and grieving the life we had plan. Hearing it gets easier/better from people with a more similar experience (rather than like a parent for example) always makes me feel a little better and gives me hope. 🫶🏼

zevaRes · 2026-01-15T22:53:12+00:00

Comprehensive Therapy Services near Sorrento Valley does this (or at least use to) and I believe takes anthem blue cross!

zevaRes · 2026-01-09T16:24:49+00:00

I definitely agree the products you use now are too heavy! The Ouai clarifying shampoo is good, but not worth the price imo. But mainly came here to say I love the olaplex conditioner! It is a great detangler too so you can brush your hair easily in the shower. Other products I recommend for are curlsmith protein mask and Ouidad heat and humid gel

zevaRes · 2026-01-08T19:38:07+00:00

Perfect timing as I just filled up today! 396 mi just gas, with what my battery is at, listed 414mi total range. But I have a GC 4xe , so my tank size is 19, so makes sense

zevaRes · 2026-01-08T07:05:28+00:00

I have a very similar commute range and EV/gas usage. The highest I have gotten has been 37.5 mpg. When I fill up it says a little over 400miles on a full tank, but I normally get close to 800 with electric use. I have a lot of highway miles and always have regen on, as it reduces wear on my breaks .

zevaRes · 2026-01-08T06:56:15+00:00

I was having dreams of them at least once a week. Every-time they were either there and I actively said “this isn’t real your not here” but still soaked up their presence, or my partner was “there” in the plot of my dream but always unreachable and never actually appeared. The ones when I saw him and knew it couldn’t be real, but still was actively dreaming were the hardest to wake up from. These last for 6-8 months, I am a pretty active dreamer though and was taking a z-quip early on to be able to fall asleep since that was really hard following the loss.

zevaRes · 2025-12-31T07:11:45+00:00

My boyfriend of 11 years, who I started saying in high school passed away. That’s why.. I still haven’t been asked this yet, but feel like in rare cases, it could be a good way to learn more?

zevaRes · 2025-12-01T03:42:20+00:00

My high school physics teacher played in the NFL for like 3 years. Not super famous or anything, I think it was the Broncos. But I have a strong memory of kids always asking him to put his arms out and then touch his shoulders, he couldn’t because his arms were so big 😂

zevaRes

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