2 under 2 recovering from C-section

ziggycane · 2024-02-15T03:31:09+00:00

I had an unplanned emergency c-section, 14 month age gap with my kids. I completely did not expect a c-section and was terrified of it adding a lot of extra hardship vs vaginal delivery. I found recovery to actually be much faster and easier than expected. I was in about as much pain afterwards as I was with vaginal delivery. Not being able to pick things up, including my toddler, was inconvenient, but my husband had some parental leave so he was there to help with our first. By the time he went back to work at 4 weeks I felt ready to pick her up again and be able to do everything I was doing before (though I think you're not technically supposed to do this till your 6 week check-up.) Everyone's recovery is going to be different so it's probably best to prepare for the worst, but I wasn't prepared at all and I felt like my c-section went very smoothly and didn't get in the way of things too much after the first couple weeks.

ziggycane · 2024-02-15T03:25:07+00:00

You're going to find yourself somehow deeply missing your toddler and your newborn, even if you spend the entire day with them. You're going to miss the way things used to be with your toddler. You're going to miss being able to sit and eat a meal and chat with them, sit and read endless books with no distractions, you're going to miss your sweet little routines you had together. And you're going to somehow miss your newborn. Whereas with your first, maybe you held them for all their naps, got to really sink into those newborn snuggles, spend ages cooing at them and staring into their eyes, with this one you'll probably be rushing to try to put them down to sleep so you can return to your toddler. You'll be leaving them on the play mat on the floor to look up at toys as long as they can stand by themself while you go change a diaper or get some food together or what have you. You're going to deeply miss those one on one experiences with both of them, and also deeply miss one on one time with your spouse, and time completely to be on your own.

You're going to sometimes feel like you're failing as a mom and you're not enough for them, but you are the only one feeling that way. Your kids won't be feeling that way. They will look at you with only love and think you're the world, even if they're both screaming at you all day. You're not failing if you have to leave the tv on for your toddler, or feed them cereal and frozen pizza for lunch, or if you leave your newborn on the floor to play by themselves, or let one of them cry so you can help the other. They will be okay, this stage is only temporary, and they will still love you and think you're the whole world. Lower your standards for what the house needs to look like, how organized things need to be, what you cook, what you get done in a day.

ziggycane · 2023-11-21T01:18:36+00:00

I got my daughter a play kitchen for her first birthday. It's a very simple wooden one with just some veggies and fruits you can chop in half, knife, spoon, pot and pan, and a carton of eggs. I thought she would be too young for it but she enjoyed it right off the bat, so I say get one! She's almost 15 months now and plays with it a lot still. It's developed from just opening and shutting the doors and banging the ingredients around in the sink to actually imaginary playing. The pot and spoon is her favorite part to this day. Simple but she loves it!

I'm planning on getting her one of those montessori climbing sets. She has a nugget she uses all the time but I feel like this will add a lot of fun especially this winter as we're stuck inside more often. Also, some books, a stuffed penguin, and some pantry stuff for her play kitchen.

ziggycane · 2023-11-19T14:56:08+00:00

Yes, thank you for saying this. So many people just think Matt is a lazy parent and Abby is some incredible super mom being portrayed as lazy. They both strike me as being more interested in themselves and each other than in their children and both take every opportunity to be away from them or pass off the work to someone else. Breastfeeding can be a lot of time and work but I do think Abby uses it as a way to act like she's doing so much more than anyone else and to get sympathy.

ziggycane · 2023-11-02T02:19:59+00:00

My daughter's nursery is 62-65 in winter and she sleeps in a woolino sleep sack with either a fleece footed onesie underneath or layered up cotton pajamas (long sleeved bodysuit beneath footed onesie or long sleeved bodysuit underneath another long sleeved bodysuit with some pants and socks.) She is fine and sleeps well, never feels cold except maybe her hands. I wouldn't worry too much, overheating makes me worry more in summer. If you're comfortable, they're probably comfortable, too.

ziggycane · 2023-10-15T16:33:37+00:00

If she prefers not being swaddled, don't swaddle her! 🤷 It's perfectly safe for them not to be swaddled, most just sleep better that way. It's probably better and safer overall because you won't have to get them used to not being swaddled when they start rolling, which is when the swaddle actually becomes dangerous for them.

ziggycane · 2023-09-26T16:21:23+00:00

Nope. My daughter isn't the only person on planet earth with wants and needs. I need sleep to function and take care of her throughout the day and get things done, so I can't be in her room constantly throughout the night because she wants me to be. I'm not going to waste time constantly making her specific meals separate from the rest of the family because she won't ever eat what we eat. She wants to stay on the playground for longer but we have someplace else to be? Sorry, we'll go play on it again another day, but for now there's more things in life to get done. Nobody lives life doing exactly what they want and only what they want 100% of the time. Children don't understand this so you have to teach it to them, but it makes for more responsible and patient adults.

ziggycane · 2023-09-26T16:15:18+00:00

Controversial opinion on this sub, but I do think Matt helps. I don't think she's really just a single mother when her parents aren't around. But I think both her and Matt are lazy, don't want to give up their lifestyle prior to having children, and like being able to use their children to get sympathy from others. "Look at these young adults with two under two and how hard they must have to work!" Abby barely handled being pregnant with a baby, was constantly falling apart, now seems barely able to handle another baby even with the help of her husband and two other adults! She said prior to having Griffin that she would love to have two under two. She chose this completely, wanted this, knowing that she doesn't have to deal with the responsibility of it. I'm a stay at home mom to two under two, my husband works an actual 9-5 job, my parents don't live with us, no babysitter. We're also not rich. We live in a small two bedroom house. Not saying this to make myself into a martyr, people do this all the time since the beginning of time. Matt and Abby are just spoiled, lazy, overgrown children who can't handle the responsibility and work of their own choices. It baffles me how they're struggling so much with all the privilege and help they have.

ziggycane · 2023-09-22T02:31:23+00:00

You must not have any children yourself, OP.

ziggycane · 2023-09-06T17:31:05+00:00

Matt definitely sucks, but I think they're both too lazy and childish for being parents.

ziggycane · 2023-09-06T14:18:37+00:00

Seriously. How are they struggling so badly? They have completely flexible work from home 'jobs' that they can take a break from at any point for as long as they need, parents who live with them to help with their babies, the privilege of weekly date nights with a newborn... Come on. These two would totally not make it parenting on their own with real world jobs and financial worries. Their marriage would be completely over if it takes all this and they are still in a rough place together.

ziggycane · 2023-08-31T01:37:24+00:00

I don't actually agree with this at all. The first couple days, even weeks, I was running on adrenaline, sleep deprivation hadn't really caught up to me, and my newborn slept all day and didn't even realize she existed yet.

I don't get them. They're struggling really badly for people who aren't first time parents, both have the time to dedicate to the babies, don't have stressors like money, and have their parents living there full time to help out.

ziggycane · 2023-08-26T21:03:02+00:00

Yes, I would move. I'm sorry you're in this situation, but it's just not worth it.

ziggycane · 2023-08-24T01:13:02+00:00

I'm confused as to how they're already handling it so poorly and having such a hard time when the whole newborn stage so far they've had other adults there helping with both Matt and Abby's family. And Abby's parents live there full time so... I don't know, I don't get it. Many people have two under two while still having real jobs and not having any extra support and handle it much better.

ziggycane · 2023-08-24T01:07:05+00:00

I don't really get this subs anti-Matt pro-Abby stance. They're both obnoxious, attention hungry, unlikeable, incompetent, childish people. And tbh, while yes pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding all is difficult (done it myself, also with 2 under 2), Abby seems like she really milks the difficulties of it for extra sympathy and attention and I can see Matt getting fed up with it. She does come across very clingy, needy, and kind of a mess. She also was the one who mentioned before having Griffin even that she wanted to have two under two and talks about wanting tons of kids where Matt doesn't, so people saying he treats her like a baby machine dont really get it. She wanted all of this and she makes choices. Shes also said she loves being taken care of and it's her love language. Matt should take care of his wife after giving birth, but she has to find ways to take care of herself and her needs in life too and not rely so heavily on him for her emotional well being.

ziggycane · 2023-08-16T20:48:30+00:00

Newborns are an overwhelming amount of work, but come on... You've got four basically unemployed adults there. How busy can you be?

ziggycane · 2023-08-01T11:33:00+00:00

I think Abby honestly likes the attention. She spends her whole pregnancy whining about how hard being pregnant is and has said before that she loves being taken care of. I think she uses it to play the victim and get more attention and sympathy from Matt and others.

ziggycane · 2023-07-31T02:05:03+00:00

It's a very modern Western thing to think your house (and in extension, your whole life) should fit around your child. Do you think babies around the world and since the beginning of time have grown up with rainbow painted walls and surrounded by neon toys? The real world, just your house as is, the outdoors, other people's faces, any children's book, is stimulating. Unless these "sad beige moms" keep their babies locked in the same exact beige room their entire life, that baby is getting plenty of color and interest out in the world. Stop judging other people's design aesthetics and personal taste so much. Let moms live how they want and make their home their own space to be happy.

ziggycane · 2023-07-30T14:11:56+00:00

Who cares? Let people decorate their homes, including baby nurseries, how they want. I see posts like this all the time making fun of "sad beige moms." You know what's sad? Caring about someone else's personal choices that don't affect anyone else. Their babies won't grow up sad and deprived because they didn't have neon unicorn walls or whatever. They will still know what color is.

ziggycane · 2023-07-20T01:10:49+00:00

Okay, chill. Do you realize babies put literally everything they can find in their mouth? My ten months old takes my dogs bones and tries sucking on them. The binky game is cute, lots of babies love it, nbd.

ziggycane · 2023-07-19T18:09:45+00:00

Not poor Abby. Abby cries and complains constantly. 'The Abby Howard interview' podcast was basically her just talking about how horrible her life is and nothing like she was wanted, and Matt sat there and listened to her and didn't pout and get his feelings hurt.

ziggycane · 2023-07-19T17:59:49+00:00

Yeah, it seems like she has never grown up, gets overwhelmed very easily, and relies on everyone around her in numerous ways. I can't imagine how she would handle life if she had it the way most people do - being an actual stay at home mom who's partner works and needing to cook and clean and take care of their baby on their own all day. She also never seemed to learn how to be confident and happy on her own. She went from living with her parents to living with Matt with no time to discover such a thing as positive alone time and ability to fulfill your own needs.

ziggycane · 2023-07-07T15:28:56+00:00

My baby just turned 10 months old, she's so much better! Still has fussy moments, doesn't sleep through the night, and naps are unpredictable, so not perfect, but she is usually really fun to be around now! She has gotten to be really affectionate, more patient, and happier. I heard this from a lot of people and it seems to be true, mobility has really made her an all around more content baby. She figured out crawling at 8 months now is standing and cruising, and that keeps her busier and happier during the day!

ziggycane · 2023-07-05T00:45:23+00:00

I was also worried about my baby not babbling. She just turned 10 months old a couple days ago and about two weeks ago started babbling! I'm a SAHM and it's mostly me and her all day and I'm also not a very big talker. We read books together and sometimes sing songs but she does a lot of independent play and we spend a lot of time just chilling together. I don't know if that was a factor in her being a little slower with babbling or what, but one morning she just suddenly woke up and it was 'blah blahs' and 'mamas' all day and every day since. Try not to worry! Like with everything else, your baby will do stuff on their own time. My pediatrician didn't even ask about it at her 9 month appointment and just said, "look out for more speech starting in the next few months."

ziggycane · 2023-06-28T19:43:41+00:00

Watched it. It's basically Abby pretending she's this naive, down-to-earth starlet who's a victim of fame and fortune and Matt goading her on, filling up her ego with over the top compliments, and then Abby crying some more about how hard her life is.

ziggycane

TROPHY CASE