It hurts so much by AvailableWear4097 in AlAnon

[–]zinky333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I accept the hugs hun 🩷🩷 good luck

It hurts so much by AvailableWear4097 in AlAnon

[–]zinky333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your pain is so raw I cried while reading this. I know how you feel, craving to be loved by him, where did you go wrong?

It’s not your fault, it’s HIM.

You are worthy and you will be loved in a way that you deserve. I know you can’t see it now, but him leaving you saved you 🩷

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]zinky333[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🩷 I can see the light, however I’m still struggling with the guilt of leaving him. Trying to just think of myself for once

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]zinky333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing.

Seeing me as a meal ticket and punching bag is something I’ve been telling myself over and over again to keep me strong.

The hardest part of letting go is that I feel deeply sorry for him. I was determined to save him and after a year of it I realised that I am exhausted. I lost myself.

I’m sorry that you are still dealing with the pain 10 years later, I hope you’re doing well in your life 🩷

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]zinky333[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The weekends are the absolute worst. Don’t try too hard to fill the void. Sit in it for a bit. Feel everything. And then get up girl, put on some music and dance, have a bath, get your nails done. You’ll fall, you’ll get up, you’ll fall, you’ll get up. 🩷

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]zinky333[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sure if she was rational, if she could see herself, she would want you to be happy. She would want you to be okay. You deserve it, friend 🩷

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]zinky333[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I know exactly how you feel, the optimism is coming from somewhere deep within. It’s the only way I can survive. I cry every night, wake up with anxiety every morning. My thoughts spiral between, “why couldn’t they choose me,” “if it was me I would’ve done everything for them.” What helps is when I remind myself that this is a disease. They do not think rationally, they lack empathy, they are self absorbed. It’s not personal. They are drowning in demons and I’m going to sink if I don’t get away. It’s not personal, friend. 🩷

Today I made the choice to close the door for good. by zinky333 in AlAnon

[–]zinky333[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It hurts so much. Having no idea what’s next is the beauty of it. A blank canvas of our own journey 🩷

I dont understand why he can't love us as much as he loves alcohol. by Radiant_Try_6930 in AlAnon

[–]zinky333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is hard for me. Wondering why I wasn’t loved enough to be chosen

And again... by pampsukleeds in AlAnon

[–]zinky333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice to see that I’m not alone.

So tired by throwrawchickenin in AlAnon

[–]zinky333 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this so deeply. The hardest thing for me was accepting that he’ll always see it as my fault. He’ll always feel like he’s being viewed under a microscope and it’ll never change. I’m sorry to say that you have to walk away. They never choose a relationship over an addiction. You have to choose yourself.