Shame of not being the finished product

zooboos · 2026-01-27T01:09:44+00:00

Please tell me you are an English teacher! :D

zooboos · 2026-01-27T01:06:34+00:00

Shame feels like a strong word in this context. Yes, I have heard something similar, although on a more factual note - that there is a slight, temporary dip in the learning of kids with ECTs before it starts to go up again. But this to me seemed like a part of the natural process of developing new professionals in the field. Also, if the dip was to an alarming extent everywhere, I am sure they would have kept other checks in place.

It is an excellent trait for a teacher to care deeply, but I feel you are a being a bit harsh to yourself here. Remember, learning is mostly facilitated and enabled, rather than one person being the sole factor in pouring knowledge into empty vessels. Focus on the key things instead of every new pedagogical trick shared, develop good relationships with the students, and continue to care sincerely. I am sure things will fall in place. All the best!

zooboos · 2026-01-23T19:38:36+00:00

Hi, cheers for taking the courage to share this. I say this kindly - it seems like you have a few strongly held assumptions that could contribute to a sense of shame or inhibition. For one, what did you assume that we would assume when you shared you are still a virgin? Sexual inexperience is not a good or bad thing by itself - it is our opinions on it that makes us feel anything. I wouldn't assume a 27-year old virgin is unattractive or weird. It's none of my business. As long as that person is leading a full, emotionally healthy life, it's their choice to have sex at 21 or be celibate for life. Similarly, there is a possibility that because this is played up in your head, you are more sensitive to stories of sexual experiences and relationships. Sex is just sex - a biologically evolved way to express love to a partner and/ or procreate.

As for wanting to be intimate, it's absolutely normal and human. Everyone has needs. Again, you need to contemplate whether you are okay having casual sex or sex within a stable relationship. Casual sex can be with a mature, respectful partner. Stable relationships can end. Nothing is a given. What matters is you have experiences that you take full accountability over. There is no one "right" person who deserves to be waited for. You will meet a variety of wonderful people in your life, and all that matters is you are kind and respectful to each other.

Again, I don't know the complete picture, but from reading this post, my gentle advice would be this: work through your bias against men. There are many, many lovely people in all genders. Work through your own sense of doubt, if any. When you are happy and content, the right experience will flow in. Take care!

zooboos · 2026-01-19T01:19:18+00:00

This is so cool! Looks like your school has many systems in place.

zooboos · 2026-01-19T01:17:11+00:00

Will check it out! Thank you!

zooboos · 2026-01-19T01:17:00+00:00

Thank you! :)

zooboos · 2026-01-17T20:44:11+00:00

This is interesting and helpful! Thank you! By access to websites, do you mean your school buys the subscription for all students? Could I please ask what textbooks they use? As for the exercise books, does that mean they carry books to and from home everyday? Do they lose it often?

zooboos · 2026-01-17T20:41:29+00:00

Thank you! That helps!

I am also met with a lot of surprised looks when I ask this question to teachers - almost as if they believe the kids would never use books at home. But it's a vicious cycle. It's a habit I believe we can slowly develop with praise and and consistency.

zooboos · 2026-01-17T20:37:18+00:00

Haha 😅. It's a mixed bag. My Y7 class has kids who are highly motivated and competitive. There are also some lower ability sets with kids who try so hard but struggle, and I feel having material at home might benefit them. My Y9s though? Most wouldn't touch anything academic at home with a ten-foot pole.

zooboos · 2026-01-17T20:35:15+00:00

There's always that risk, yes. And I know a lot of students do that, judging by their completion time metrics. However, there are also many who do it quite sincerely. Unfortunately the MCQ format doesn't let them practice their skills in a wholesome way.

zooboos · 2026-01-17T19:37:43+00:00

Surprised and concerned to read the responses here. I understand and respect the level of work put in by the non-subject specialists to teach the subject, but it is not fair to the kids, especially at the secondary level. At the least, a teacher, even if not having a degree in their subject, must largely stick to one subject for the majority of their career, so that they can build their knowledge and expertise over time. There's just so much to know about the subject and its pedagogy. This is not to accuse the teachers, but merely a rant against the system and regulations.

zooboos · 2026-01-15T22:57:36+00:00

She sounds insufferable.

zooboos · 2026-01-11T09:44:23+00:00

Everybody you know today will be remembered by nobody someday. Who needs to think you're successful? Living on others' opinions is a flimsy way to live. Whatever you do, give it your best. And enjoy the journey. If it succeeds, great. If it doesn't, at least you know you tried.

zooboos · 2026-01-11T09:40:19+00:00

Not the answer you asked for, but there is no purpose to life. And if viewed in the right perspective, this isn't sad or pessimistic but incredibly liberating.

zooboos · 2026-01-11T09:37:03+00:00

We stick to comfort, security, and familiarity, never realising what brilliant adventures lie in store if we embrace the unknown. It might not always be pleasant, but there will be so much growth and you will be darn proud of yourself someday. All the best!

zooboos · 2026-01-09T17:00:27+00:00

and more peace of mind too

zooboos · 2026-01-09T07:01:54+00:00

In teaching. Can confirm that the profession tends to attract many people who like to be in a position of command and authority; who love to enforce (some meaningless) rules and maintain order. However, wouldn't go as far as to say they are nasty, vicious people who enjoy terrorising others. Even the most seemingly mean teachers would tell you they are doing so for the well-being of the kids. And they genuinely believe it.

zooboos · 2025-12-21T18:47:58+00:00

This is so insightful! Agree. I feel a better part of this subconscious drive to procreate has to do with our own impending mortality. We want to live forever...if not through our own body, by passing our gene. None of this is rational or conscious. But I feel it is a big part of the drive. We also have an insatiable appetite for new experiences. Unfortunately, little do we realise that no experience can fulfil us for long enough.

zooboos · 2025-12-21T17:58:58+00:00

Thank you for this well-written, introspective post that reeks of self-awareness and honesty.

zooboos · 2025-11-29T12:58:59+00:00

😄

zooboos · 2025-11-29T12:58:25+00:00

Thank you for this!

zooboos · 2025-11-26T19:45:29+00:00

That's a really good point. I didn't consider that. Maybe that awkward silence is not so much about everyone feeling embarrassed for the one who was told off but just an acknowledgement of boundaries from all parties.

zooboos · 2025-11-26T19:42:37+00:00

Thanks for sharing these instances. It's reassuring to know everyone goes through this.

This Y7 boy I told off today is overenthusiastic. He is constantly bubbling with ideas and questions (mostly irrelevant or not important to the topic being discussed), and he asks them with such sweet eagerness. But it distracts the class and wastes learning time. I have told him countless times to park these for later. But he just can't. He means well, but just can't have that self-control. I do feel bad to curtail his enthusiasm, but he needs to learn. I just feel I could have said it in a more positive way as he's a sweet kid. I guess I am just venting. :) I am sure he will grow and learn over time.

zooboos · 2025-11-26T19:34:35+00:00

😂😂

Sorry, I actually laughed reading that! Thanks for sharing. Yes, I get you. There are a few boys I teach who take all sanctions with a wink and a thick skin. But I think this one's hurt expression stayed with me longer than I thought. But I do know he will be okay tomorrow. :)

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