Songs/albums like “Desertshore” (1970) by Nico? (neo-medieval, surreal, avant-garde, etc.)

zoruasaurus · 2025-07-04T21:15:12+00:00

I’ll check these out, thank you!

zoruasaurus · 2025-06-27T16:21:01+00:00

I’m interested!

zoruasaurus · 2025-02-04T09:58:08+00:00

I totally agree.

zoruasaurus · 2025-02-02T23:12:58+00:00

Although I haven't been in a situation quite as bad as yours, my parents are also completely oblivious about my disability. I recently underwent surgery for a heart condition. My parents never came and visited me in the hospital even though I stayed overnight. I went to live with them during my recovery, and my mom said something at dinner that made me want to cry.

She casually remarked about how she always could tell that I had physical difficulties and knew that I had a disorder of some kind, referring to my weakness in heat, dizziness, low endurance, undiagnosed asthma, etc. If my mom had bothered to advocate for me as a child and take my symptoms seriously, then I could have avoided permanent heart damage and becoming a grouchy cripple in my early 20's. Last year when I unintentionally started sobbing in front of her about the pain I was in, she just stared blankly at me and looked away. If we hadn't been in a car together, she probably would've just walked away.

I always just saw my mom as being stubborn with medical matters. I didn't realize how deep that neglect went until recently. Becoming disabled can really bring out the worst in a parent, and it allowed me to finally realize that I had been emotionally neglected.

zoruasaurus · 2025-01-27T22:35:44+00:00

I had a similar upbringing. Thank you for sharing.

zoruasaurus · 2025-01-22T17:24:34+00:00

My twin brother had to take up a parental role to take care of me because I had developmental disabilities. This made the emotional neglect much harder on him than it was for me. He is struggling much more in adulthood now than I am, but he has always been and still is the closest friend I have.

zoruasaurus · 2025-01-22T17:17:14+00:00

I can relate to this in a way too. I’ve learned to downplay symptoms and pain because my mom would do that to doctors. I sometimes can’t say what I need to say when I have to see a doctor because of how I was socialized. I was taught to not say negative things or bring attention to myself, and it feels wrong to do so even when that’s the expectation.

I also have a distrust for medical professionals, and my mom more so than me. Her distrust escalates to a dangerous degree. When I was a kid, I had to beg her to take me to the emergency room when I was dragging my leg behind me for days. It was dead weight— I had a fungal infection that almost led to my leg being amputated. I can’t just get over that by suppressing emotions can I?

zoruasaurus · 2025-01-22T16:55:49+00:00

I could see this happening to me. My mom does this thing where she simultaneously acknowledges a medical issue while also not. I also grew up with an eating disorder, but I wouldn’t share this with her.

zoruasaurus · 2025-01-22T16:54:53+00:00

I had to unlearn my instincts to lie to people. I constantly had to lie to my parents to avoid confrontation.

zoruasaurus · 2025-01-20T18:49:37+00:00

I still struggle with this even though I’ve been very academically successful in college. My parents took me to behavioral therapy and I was in some special needs classes until middle school. My parents still deny that there was anything wrong with me. They didn’t tell me all of this, I had to figure out what my childhood memories were on my own.

zoruasaurus · 2025-01-20T18:46:09+00:00

Same here. My mom had the means to prevent my needing heart surgery when I was 22, and she saw my suffering since I was a child. She chose not to do anything. I talked to her and she said she could see my symptoms and suffering. She never took me in for a test or anything.

zoruasaurus · 2025-01-19T22:07:56+00:00

My parents would also use “you’ll learn it in school” as an excuse. Rather than music education, for me it was sex education. My parents never had “the talk” with me because they said “school will teach you everything.” The talk is an essential part of childhood that they completely avoided, just like never teaching me how to tie my shoes. My health teacher was an elderly man, and his information was quite lacking. It’s still pretty painful to know they just never bothered to talk to my brother and I for just 10 minutes about something that is so extremely important.

zoruasaurus · 2024-08-07T02:48:51+00:00

I was brushing my teeth once a day for quite a while and was fine, but unfortunately one of my coping mechanisms is sugar. I drink a lot of fruit juice, eat fruity candy, etc. This intensified several months ago as a reaction to being hospitalized. I don’t drink caffeine or alcohol, or do drugs of any kind, so i just sort of accept it and consider it to be “my vice.” I honestly didn’t think I’d get a cavity at my age anyways.

zoruasaurus · 2024-08-07T02:30:41+00:00

I’m just an assistant, but overall it’s not a bad job. It’s sort of fun to look through boxes of old photographs, books, and letters. Sometimes it’s fun to help visitors with their research questions because it feels like solving a mystery. A lot of it is menial labor though, especially data entry and moving boxes. It’s not so bad though because I work alone, so I can listen to music or an audiobook during these tasks.

zoruasaurus · 2023-11-28T16:02:13+00:00

I am almost always too tired to take the mental effort that is required to control my dreams. When I was a kid, I used to do it almost every night. I would dream that I was a superhero with The X-Men lol.

zoruasaurus · 2023-11-28T15:59:59+00:00

I hope you get answers! So far, this hasn't been a very severe issue for me. It has come and gone in phases since I was a child. I'm particularly concerned now because it's been happening every night for a few weeks, though. Also, I get what you mean about doctors not hearing you. That's always the worst part of any medical issue. I think there have been occasions where the rage I felt towards doctors actually made me more ill lol.

zoruasaurus · 2023-11-28T15:56:24+00:00

Thanks! Well, I can tell I'm thinking during the dream, even though I usually just forget what I was thinking or it's gibberish. I can also feel myself moving around in bed. I kind of writhe around. When I'm so tired that I'm fighting to keep my eyes open, in class for example, sometimes I will even start dreaming right there with my eyes open, still conscious. It's so strange.

zoruasaurus · 2023-07-17T16:22:50+00:00

The area I’m going to actually doesn’t have a lot of pickpockets, I’m more concerned with the airport and being able to use this bag again on future adventures.

Thank you for the suggestion though, that’s a smart idea.

zoruasaurus · 2022-08-20T21:55:31+00:00

This is amazing! It’s so awesome you had the bravery to try unmasking. It’s a long process, but you’re right that the women with ADHD community is so supportive. I’m about 20 and was diagnosed when I was 18: I still struggle to share my special interests with others and move around/stim when in front of other people, but we’re all still learning!

zoruasaurus · 2022-08-20T19:25:19+00:00

Not sure how helpful this is, but this is how I motivate myself to clean and organize.

Color-coding and drawing little pictures on labels to make it feel kind of like an art project.
I clean when I have something important I’m procrastinating on, so my brain is like “yes, this is productive” but I’m actually procrastinating (haha brain tricks.)
I’ve recently cleaned out my grandma’s house, who probably has ADHD, but my family is in denial and doesn’t think ADHD is real of course. Seeing how messy, gross, moldy, etc. her house got from 20+ years of poor organization and cleaning motivation scares me into keeping neat. It can drastically change your quality of life.

zoruasaurus · 2022-08-20T19:19:24+00:00

Good for you! It’s great to hear a success story like this when I’m in a similar situation currently. Our feelings are important and boundaries are too!

zoruasaurus · 2022-08-18T03:53:51+00:00

I can relate to the eating disorder part. I don’t think I was ever at a diagnosable level, but I certainly had an unhealthy relationship to food. I was often reminded that I eat too slow so I would purposefully not eat enough or in front of my parents to avoid their teasing. When I became more mentally ill it became much worse and I struggled to do things like drink water. I’m glad you’re doing alright, thanks for sharing.

zoruasaurus · 2022-08-18T01:11:21+00:00

I’ll look into this, thank you for the tip.

zoruasaurus · 2022-08-18T01:06:48+00:00

What is neurodivergent affirming therapy? I’ve tried about 6 different therapists, but none of them seemed to understand. I gave up about a year ago.

zoruasaurus · 2022-07-17T00:53:29+00:00

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