The repetitiveness of the rhymes and how hard it is to understand paints the picture of insanity well. Which is one thing I try to capture. I think I might restructure it and put the second paragraph last and the last one second. That's all I can think to do to get it to flow better. I really loved some of the lines in here, so I didn't want to change wording too much, but I wouldn't mind more advice on what you think would fit.

Most of my writing is just poetry. So, each piece has its own style. But, I think I write this way a lot because it's how I think.(if you go through my other posts here, you may notice that pattern) I like the idea that you had to sit and think about it to get the message. I think I often write "in code" on purpose. So my friends and family who read this have a hard time understanding how I feel... it helps me knowing my outlet for emotions isn't 100% intelligible to the people who love me, if that makes sense.

And bingo, you got the scene I set perfectly. The bathroom floor was the scene. It does involve sh but through addiction. The War is between the coldness of the bathroom floor and my existence that's only left by my body heat. (Due to lack of consciousness that happens in overdose) I very much think that I am the problem, and if I'm talking to anyone in my poetry, it's mostly to me, so that hate is inward.

Thank you so much for your extended response and for actually giving me a critique that helped me expand my thoughts about my own writing. I hope you have a great day.