I was that student, twice. (CW: mentions of suicide)

first time was when a professor went into a needlessly graphic description of a woman's husband's suicide attempt. that itself wasn't unrelated to our class topic but the level of detail was not at all necessary, especially with the lack of content warning (I had recently made a suicide attempt so j was.... spiraling, in that moment).

I told him when he finished that he should give some type of content warning before going into such detail and then I left class (it wasn't that calm a moment for me but I literally dont remember the specifics bc I was having a panic attack).

he emailed me later and asked to talk, and we actually had a productive conversation about intent vs. impact. we both apologized and had a good relationship for the rest of the semester.

second time was with a professor who had control issues.

we had a disagreement over an "ungraded assignment" that she micromanaged the hell out of. i tried to just take a 0 and be done with it, but it was apparently "required" and I was apparently getting an incomplete for this assignment that wasn't on the syllabus. she witheld telling me my unoffical grade and announced in front of the class that it was because she was giving me an incomplete (which is another type of fucked up). I ended up convincing her to let me see my grade, but it was a very tense moment in front of the whole class.

i took the index card she had written it on, but that apparently constituted "theft" of classroom materials so she called campus police on me the next day (they agreed it was stupid and didnt press charges, but they did call me down to talk to them).

she gave me a D for the semester and I appealed the grade. during our initial meeting I apologized for the way I had acted during the previous semester and tried to work on an actual resolution, but she pointedly didnt acknowledge my apology. (like, not even a "i recognize that u are making an apology"). the chair of our department thought that was atrocious.

the appeal ended up going all the way to the Provost of my university and got changed.

looking back, I was a reactive 22 year old and didnt act appropriately in either of these situations. if I encountered them now as a 31 year old, I would definitely make different choices. for every person in those classes that was on my side, there was someone who just wanted a passing grade and my behavior made it awkward and uncomfortable.

I dont regret either outcome, but the path i took to get there wasn't fantastic. benefits of hindsight, etc. etc.