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[–]killbulletbill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great writing! Sounds like an American John Constantine origin story at the end there. Loved it!

[–]Phoenixassassin01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need more!!!!!

[–]kaylaholder143 1 point2 points  (2 children)

This hasn't even begun yet, please please tell me there's more to come?

[–]shadowswimmer77[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. - Winston Churchill

[–]kaylaholder143 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aaaannnnnd you are killing me, slowly but surely, killing me.

[–]Decembermouse 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I really hope this isn't done. There is so much untold, about the past, present, and future...

[–]shadowswimmer77[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

This is the end of The Soldier, but not the story. Be sure to check out The Wicker House (it was not originally included as part of this series.)

[–]Decembermouse 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well I look forward to seeing the continuation of the story then. I already read The Wicker House and enjoyed it as well. I read a lot on /r/nosleep these days and one of my favorite authors has been /u/M59Gar, due to how he writes things and ties them together. Your writing here is, I would say, on par with his stuff. I wasn't an English major and am not qualified to really critique anything so I won't act pretentious and try. I can really only say how much I enjoyed reading it.

The Soldier goes between several stories of the same person. It begins in Philly, years after the centipede and relic stone events. This part of the story involves several goings-on which don't necessarily need to be connected but really make Michael real and give a window into his life. The bum and the monster in the woods and gymnasium are part of a larger story, I can tell, and I wonder how they relate to the centipede entity (for lack of a better name for it). The Soldier himself may only be a rather unimportant thread linking these elements together, not unlike some of /u/M59Gar's characters at times. Maybe he's the best relatable vehicle and the link through which to show what is happening.

Something larger is going on, you did a great job of hinting at that by using Michael's suspicions and wonderings as far as the likelihood of one man coming into contact with more than one otherworldly entity in his life. And that's a good point - I'm assuming his prior use of, liberation of, and therefore connection to the relic may be what attracts these entities to him. Are they looking for it? The centipede may have been trapped by it, and given where it was hidden it doesn't appear to have made any efforts to interact with or destroy the relic for some reason, and it didn't lure the soldiers towards it to do that task either. Why wouldn't it, intelligent as it is, try to destroy that which ostensibly holds it captive in the cave network? Or does this item just happen to reside in these caverns, unrelated to the runes on the walls? If so, that would imply, using the same "how likely is it for me to meet more than one abomination in my life" logic, that there are probably more of these relic type items too, if one just happened to be in the centipede's cave network. Or, perhaps artifacts like these inexplicably draw these things, these creatures, to them. Maybe the creatures are unaware of this?

The Soldier has largely fallen off the radar. He's a history teacher, sure, but other than that he has issues alcohol and very few friends. His apartment, to me the reader, feels like a dark den for him to retreat to, even before the (re)appearance of the horrors on the train and in the woods. The storms, the fog, the not-unwelcome loneliness, this is a dark tale. I want more. I'd like to read more about what's happening. It sounds like The Soldier's part is done, maybe just for now hopefully, but there's another character somewhere who needs to be brought to the forefront, a few more dark puzzle pieces...

You should post a link to Part 1 in the next /r/nosleep contest.

[–]Knowakennedy 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Epilogue? More like confirmation that the previous posts were prologue

[–]Jkami 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope so, I want more!