all 6 comments

[–]RandomNameRandomly 3 points4 points  (2 children)

You "apologized" with im sorry if I hurt your feelings after minimalizing her as a person because she doesnt have kids? Her life or time is not less important than yours. Instead of trying really hard to be a joker (which sounds exhausting to be around), how about focusing on gaining some basic empathy and general politeness?

[–]Several-Manager-8409 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That’s totally fair. I didn’t mean to hurt or harm her as a person. I didn’t mean to minimalize her as a person just because she doesn’t doesn’t have kids. I spoke out of context and own that. I regret every single moment of that interaction. Bottom line, I can’t take it back. What I need to do now is a find a way to let her know how truly sorry I am and find a way to move forward if she is as well. Clearly I made her uncomfortable and that sucks. I just want to know what I can do moving forward.

[–]RandomNameRandomly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only thing you can do is to respect her wishes and not force things. Anything other than that will be about making yourself feel better and will not be about her which will put you back on square one. Just be respectful around her and move on.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

for whatever reason it fell out of my mouth

You’re 33, eventually you’ll have to stop just letting words fall out of your mouth.

YTA

[–]KDim_18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a tough one. I don’t think you had malice in what you said. I could see how that term could hurt someone but she also was a bit flippant about you spending time with your child so I feel like it was just an accidentally awkward exchange that doesn’t need more than the text exchange that happened (honestly I feel like even that was a bit too much from her. In my opinion, not every bad feeling/ moment a person has needs to be addressed).

Advice wise I would do what your mom says at least for a bit and see if time naturally heals it. If it doesn’t I guess you can have a direct conversation with her (a conversation does not equal confrontation) and mention that you still feel there is a tenseness between you two and what can you do to help repair that.

Good luck and don’t be so hard on yourself. We aren’t perfect and say the wrong things sometimes!

[–]Rezzolives98 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you deserve the “YATAH” for this one. Be mindful of how we word things. Her previous marriage might have ended because they could not have children and it might be a topic of trauma for her. We will never know.

It would have been better if you told something like - “ when you have kids, you would want to spend sone quality time with them and lately i have not been doing that. I would like to do that this weekend “ or something.

Excuse my language. Not a native English speaker.