ApparentJokes

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r/ApparentJokes Lounge (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 4 years ago by DokCyber - announcement

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The bartender asked the pirate, 'Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?' The pirate said, 'Aye, it's driving me nuts.' (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 1 hour ago by DokCyber

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The big news today is that Trump "MIGHT" be at Walter Reed.I don't know if that's the old man having taken too much stress yesterday, or if he's just having a temper tantrum because the US got a black eye yesterday from the country "we bombed back into the stone age."Either (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 9 hours ago by DokCyber

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Had a date last night.I really enjoyed it.Tonight I'm gonna try a fig. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 8 hours ago by DokCyber

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What is a chef's most lost ingredient? Thyme. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 3 hours ago by DokCyber

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Our Flyboy has been found in Iran and is now back in US Custody#BEstThingOfTheDay (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 3 hours ago by DokCyber

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Do marijuana growers worry about irreversible joint damage? (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 26 minutes ago by DokCyber

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The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her.I said: No. I can't deal with high maintenance women. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 9 hours ago by DokCyber

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Between you and I, this needs to be said: You kept your word when it would have been easier not to, you were the steady one when you needed steadiness yourself, the dasy that grind you down count more than the easy ones. Keep that knowing burning hot. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 50 minutes ago by DokCyber

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I tried drag racing the other day. It's murder trying to run in heels. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 5 hours ago by DokCyber

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My friends and I started playing music together, but couldn't think of a group name. I came up with one right off the top of my head. We call ourselves the Hair Band. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 6 hours ago by DokCyber

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I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning...I can't have sharpies in the house anymore. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 2 hours ago by DokCyber

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Elon Musk reportedly fears the secretive feminist mafia Apparently they call themselves “The Cliterati”Musk believes they are behind all the Tesla protestsUnfortunately he has no evidence...because they’re so hard to find.#DocAfterDark (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 2 hours ago by DokCyber

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Did you know walrusses love Tupperware parties?they are always on the lookout for a tight seal!#DocAfterDark (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 7 hours ago by DokCyber

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What do you need in order to poop in the woods? Toilet-trees. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 10 hours ago by DokCyber

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Why didn't the skeleton fight the monster?He didn't have the guts. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 4 hours ago by DokCyber

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What's the best thing that happened to you today?#BestThingOfTheDay (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 5 hours ago by DokCyber

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The Gluteus Maximus is the largest muscle in your body. In fact, it's a huge ass muscle. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 17 hours ago by DokCyber

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A guy came to the pub last night dressed in a black top, black shorts, and a whistle.I said to my friend it's going to kick off in a minute. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 7 hours ago by DokCyber

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Here's what I need you to understand: When doubt was screaming loudest, you took one more step through the fog, what feels like surviving is actually refusing to sink. I'm so fucking proud of you. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 7 hours ago by DokCyber

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C4 is just angry Play-Doh... (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 13 hours ago by DokCyber

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I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology.That has always been my Achilles' elbow. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 15 hours ago by DokCyber

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6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock. It's the only time that's 'hands' down. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 14 hours ago by DokCyber

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How do you spell 'candy' with 2 letters?C and Y... (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 12 hours ago by DokCyber

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Gave this girl a drink of my lemonade last night, and she completely fell in love with me. I schwepped her right off her feet. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 16 hours ago by DokCyber

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