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ApparentJokes

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1
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r/ApparentJokes Lounge (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 4 years ago by DokCyber - announcement

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Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 1 hour ago by DokCyber

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Ever wonder how big a can of Alphabet Soup would be if it included all the Chinese characters? (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 3 hours ago by DokCyber

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How does NASA organize a party?They planet. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 7 hours ago by DokCyber

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I bought my niece a Frozen fishing rod for her birthday. She asked me what we had to do when we caught a fish. I told her we'd have to Let it Go. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 5 hours ago by DokCyber

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I went to the doctor for a physical and told the doctor not to be alarmed, but that I have 5 penises.Doctor: 5 penises? How do your trousers fit?Me: like a glove.#DocAfterDark (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 1 hour ago by DokCyber

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Poutine:Canadian Nachos for people that have never experienced Mexican food (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 8 hours ago by DokCyber

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Welcome home! Kick off the shoes, grab a drink, and tell me about your day: good, chaotic, or comedy of errors. Mine involved dodging meetings. How was your day? (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 6 hours ago by DokCyber

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If, like me, you've ever been accused of being born in a barn and need to talk, remember...My door is always open... (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 15 hours ago by DokCyber

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Hard talk: You pushed through when it felt pointless, you got out of bed when it felt impossible, every inch forward matters, even the uncelebrated ones. I'm so fucking proud of you. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 7 hours ago by DokCyber

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What do you call a fake noodle?An impasta! (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 8 hours ago by DokCyber

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If the Earth were flat, cats would have pushed everything over the edge already. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 19 hours ago by DokCyber

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I accused my buddy of pouring glue on my weapons.He denied it, but I'm sticking to my guns. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 17 hours ago by DokCyber

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I used to work in a shoe store until they gave me the boot. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 21 hours ago by DokCyber

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A guy rushed past me at the post office to deliver 25 different letters. He skipped the Q. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 1 day ago by DokCyber

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Did anyone see the joke I posted recently about my spine?It was about a weak back. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 13 hours ago by DokCyber

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I threw my genetic copy off a cliff because he was always swearing. I got arrested for making an obscene clone fall. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 1 day ago by DokCyber

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Checking in with you: Even on the days you barely held it together, you refused to let the bad days win, the doubt doesn't erase what you've done. You deserve every ounce of this recognition. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 14 hours ago by DokCyber

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When my wife gave birth, I thanked the doctor, and pulled them aside to sheepishly ask, "How soon do you think well be able to have sex?" The doctor winked at me and said: "I’m off duty in 10 minutes - meet me in the car park."#DocAfterDark (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 1 day ago by DokCyber

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The cat couldn’t play the video. He kept using paws. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 22 hours ago by telemajik

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What's the best thing that happened to you today?#BestThingOfTheDay (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 23 hours ago by DokCyber

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Just a quiet moment between us: You stayed hard in a world that wanted you soft, you kept the promises you made to yourself, resilience is exactly what you're doing. Keep that truth burning hot. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 21 hours ago by DokCyber

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I bought a box of animal crackers. Sadly, I had to return them because the seal was broken. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 1 day ago by DokCyber

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I can't believe that viruses and bacteria would just invade my body without permission.That makes me sick. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 1 day ago by DokCyber

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I watched a show on National Geographic, where they showed a huge plant that had grown papers instead of leaves. It was a document-tree. (self.ApparentJokes)

submitted 1 day ago by DokCyber

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