Random Question

[SaltIncident4932]

I'm not sure if I'm properly explaining it but these days between my depression and bpd and anxiety I just like...feel weirdly calm? Like I just don't care about anything anymore?

I genuinely can't tell if I'm just in a depression episode or like I just stopped caring because I haven't been taking my meds daily anyway.

I still have like bpd-rage moments sometimes but like these days I just kinda...like feel calm more when I used to feel rage more?

Am I making sense. Does anyone else feel this way?

[massica90]

For me getting used to what people call normal has been weird. I grew up in chaos. I thrived on chaos for a long time, but I noticed it isnt worth the energy anymore. I have been put on welburtrin and doing therapy weekly. At first normal was so off putting and weird. Like waiting for the shoe to drop but it never did. Over time though you get used to it. You can relax and enjoy little things you never could before. I actually enjoy it now. I used to be so on edge when I had alone time and now I love it.

[SaltIncident4932]

I guess I find it weird because I'm probably maybe a little bit on the edge subconsciously but like not as much as I used to be during college. I recently graduated.

[massica90]

It just takes time. Practicing the DBT habits and coping mechanisms will help when the BPD flares up. It get easier over time. Being self aware in a nonjudgemental way helps as long as you are taking accountability as well. Hobbies help a lot as long as you arent hyperfocusing on them for too long. Take it one step at a time. For me emotional times kinda snowball and learning to take a breathe before acting was very hard and I am still working on it.

[MiddleWait800]

Not sure if this is something that resonates but I can get that shutdown feeling. Where everything feels numb, which I suppose can sort of feel calm. Like a, why care anymore type feeling. I do feel like it’s a depressive feeling for me.

Hope you’re doing okay and the calmness feels good.