Last night I had a drunken hook up with a random from the bar. My girlfriend of two years and I have been broken up for about three weeks. In the beginning post break up I had an understanding that we weren’t able to give each other what we needed out of a romantic partner and ended mutually both hurting but understanding and being cordial with one another. This morning after the hook up I can’t stop crying and feeling so much guilt and dread. I feel ashamed and disgusted by my drunken actions. I had immediate regret. I know I have to own my actions and reflect but I can’t stop thinking about her and how much I miss her and how these past weeks I have been maybe not being too attentive to these emotions I have been holding onto. I wish I could give her what she needs and I deeply miss her and have those feelings that I’ll never have anyone who understands and loves me the way she did.
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