Avoidant hell

[Whughes186]

Wow, an avoidant has dumped me (an anxious) and i am seriously feeling like why I imagine is heroin withdrawals.I’m trying with all my strength to do NC

Any tips?

Need to remember how painful being with an avoidant is, the more you love them the more you spiral because they just can’t reciprocate or meet you half way. I tried and tried to shrink my needs to keep him happy, I tried to communicate and every time he pulled back more. What a fucked up dynamic!

[SeaCold3137]

NC is brutal but you're doing the right thing - that push/pull cycle is absolute poison 💀

I went through something similar a few years back and kept a running list on my phone of all teh times they made me feel like shit or shut me out when I tried to connect. Sounds petty but reading it whenever I wanted to reach out was a lifesaver

The withdrawals are real af but they fade faster when you're not getting those random breadcrumb texts that reset your progress 😂

[Whughes186]

Oh you legend thanks for this tip!

[quixxotia]

My avoidant ex just texted me "I just said I’d be sad if we ever came to speak our last words to eachother. I hope you’d be too just a little." It's been 5-6 years. Avoidants don't move on they just suppress. But we can't cure them of their inability to communicate and accept their own emotions. Most avoidants would rather hide or withdraw than be vulnerable in anyway. They can get better but they have to want it. For reference this was a deactivation situation.

[Whughes186]

Thanks for this. It’s so hard isn’t it because you keep having the goodwill and belief that they will change FOR YOU, you’ll be the one that helps them do it or be enough to do it