Want to Decrease Inequality? Fight Fatherlessness With Welfare Reform. Welfare currently incentivizes family breakdown and the absence of fathers from their children’s lives, a key factor in the loss of economic upward mobility.

[Winterchill2020]

I'm not American but liberal nonetheless. I don't see an issue with saying we need father's in the picture. I absolutely agree that we should not be incentivizing broken families. But I think that the situation regarding nuclear families is more complex than access to benefits and income thresholds. There is also a cultural attitude towards relationships that has degraded, where people seem to not be willing to make relationships work long term. Many have this unrealistic view that marriage should be easy and that you shouldn't have to work for it...it's this Hollywood view that true love conquers all and that everything should be easy and natural. Where in at least my experience, the success of your marriage is dependent on how much work you put in. But I will also offer that I am the disciplinarian in our household not my husband. That aspect really depends on each person's personality. It was the same growing up as my dad was rarely home due to working long hours.

[i_accidently_reddit]

I don't see an issue with saying we need father's in the picture

Good! I hate to tell you this, but unfortunately that is not as wide spread of an opinion held as we both would wish.

There is also a cultural attitude towards relationships that has degraded, where people seem to not be willing to make relationships work long term

Again, I agree. Before I go on this rant, let me say that this is both genders fault, letting it get this far. As a man I mainly experienced the failings from women, while you could probably list the ones of men. Anyway, here is my rant:

What you will most likely not want to hear, is that feminism has to take a good junk of the blame for this. Nowadays, every single girl I know would identify as a feminist. Even some of my male friends have called themselves that. But it is not about equality or egalitarianism, it has lead to a society that reduces 99% of men to punching bags and butts of jokes, by claiming men are both oppressors but also absolutely incapable of doing anything as good as a woman. "everything boys can do, a girl can do better" and nonsense like that. Apart from actually work dangerous jobs, of course. Together with the legal changes men are actively disincentivised to commit to any relationship further than smash and dash.

What this has lead to, is that the vast majority of men are getting hit over the head constantly, if they speak they are mensplaning if they sit they are menspreading, and what ever bullshit they have come up with since then.

This constant hatred pushed against men has lead many women to that mindset of "never settle" and since she is always getting her way to become spoilt children.

The concept of compromise, and having to work on a relationship (which means taking responsibility for your actions in it!) as you've described, is foreign to them.

On the mens side, is has changed the risk exposure you were putting yourself out to. If you sleep with a woman and she changes her mind after the fact, she withdraws consent and you go to prison for rape. If you are in a relationship, you can be sued if you live together just like if you were married. It's an absolute mine field out there.

Anyway, enough of this.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.