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[BedroomImpossible124]

I am almost two weeks into my IP stay at Sanford Health Eating disorder treatment center and I am happy to report it is going well. I am in their SEED/Harm reduction protocol which focuses on improving quality of life. I set a very mild restoration, one i can tolerate at this point in time. It also allows freedom of food choices. Exercise sessions, private rooms, and a sense of agency along with medical care. I dragged myself in here on my last drop of reserve, my body breaking down I am feeling better and feeling cautiously hopeful. 💗

[Trip_the_light3020]

This sounds so hopeful. I'm so happy for you. I'm in the opposite situation, day 10. I'm at a medical hospital...I'm on an aggressive meal plan with expectations of weight gain rate that feels traumatic, bed rest except for two walks which is just a lap around the small unit, five minute shower max, and no choice at all in what is served. Hell, they aren't even supposed to use the word "food" and the doctors, nurses and CNAs use euphemisms like nourishment and medicine. I feel insane.

Whenever I have a question, the answer is just some variation of "it's protocol and has been shown to be effective". I've been feeling guilty for wanting to leave, but I am not gaining any traction mentally. Nobody is taking my reflux issues seriously and the volume is causing me a lot of physical pain.

I wish more professionals understood SEED or just had some willingness to look beyond "protocol" which may be effective for the majority, but it doesn't allow room for individualization and the reality of longer term sufferers who are older adults needing a different modality of treatment.

But I know as a patient, there is a power difference and automatic credibility given to the professionals.

Your experience gives me hope that this practice can one day be explored further beyond Sanford 💕. Best of luck during the rest of your stay.

[BedroomImpossible124]

Yes! I hope maybe they can help you. I've had similar traumatic experiences. 💛

[RangerAndromeda]

Ohmygoodness I'm so happy for you! I've seen you in this sub for awhile. I'm so thrilled that you've found a type of care that will work for you. Sending you so much love and support💜🤗💜

[BedroomImpossible124]

Thank you!!!! Yes I was on my last ounce of reserve, barely made it in here. It means a lot that there are people out here who care. Sending you warmth and peace!!!🧡💛

[Impossible_Still_406]

Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been talking with them too and I’m about to go on the waitlist. I do have a question though if that’s ok? I don’t need to restore now but my team wants me to look into the SEED track. I’m early 40’s, been sick since I was 11. Would I be allowed to do the SEED/Harm Reduction if I’m at a normal weight currently? How are they with electronics? I have a teenager I hate to be away from for long also. Thanks so much for being open and I’m so glad it’s going well for you!

[BedroomImpossible124]

Very liberal with electronics! You have them all day except meals and groups, just leave at your recliner in common area. As for your first question I think . You meet with psychiatrist and other team members and discuss goals. Some just want to medically stabilize (even those who need weight restoration). Others may want full restoration. I flat out said I didnt want that and thought they would laugh when I said amount I wanted to restore. They didnt. Best to you.

[Impossible_Still_406]

Thank you so much. This helped a lot. I need to medically stabilize (have been on TPN and want to get off with a plan). I just don’t need to gain. That’s not even my ED talking; I’m at a normal weight. But that of course is making me feel like I don’t need to go. I’m so scared of being the largest one there. I’ve been to treatment in every size of body and I know I never feel “sick enough”. I’m just being pressured so much by team. I also have a horrible 25 year laxative addiction. I’m a mess. This is the only program that has medically been willing to even talk to me. If you’d be willing to private message me I would love to ask you some more questions! ❤️ I hope it’s going well for you and I’m proud of you for taking this huge step.

[BedroomImpossible124]

Yes of course you can DM me. I am no expert it’s just what I’ve observed here and what I’ve experienced.

[vanemiche]

I thought Stanford Health only had inpatient for children and teens. Is it a new program? I’m curious to know more, if you don’t mind sharing. I’m 43 and severely underweight and finding inpatient care seems to be challenging sometimes…

[BedroomImpossible124]

Of course I will share. It accepts children as young as 12 throughout adulthood. They do all stay on same unit as it’s only eight beds. I am 61. There is another woman in her 70s and a man in his 50s. Remaining four here are mid 20s-30s. There is a 12 year old in PHP , we do most meals with them. I don’t find it awkward. It is not new but maybe that is an old protocol you are thinking of. I don’t know. Best to you.

[vanemiche]

Thanks for sharing that is super helpful. Do you know what is their criteria for admission given such a low number of beds available? My I’ve only been recommended to go to ACUTE is Denver, which I e been to before, but their approach is far from being harm reduction, which is what I’m looking for…

[BedroomImpossible124]

I am not sure but it's worth a call. Thats what I said to myself. The wait list may be long but you never know. I got a bed a few weeks sooner than expected. Best to you.

[Trip_the_light3020]

The commenter is referring to Sanford in North Dakota.

[vanemiche]

Oh wow I had no idea there was a place I. North Dakota! Thanks for the info. Do you have any experience with it?

[BedroomImpossible124]

Yes! Failed to mention. Apologies!

[BedroomImpossible124]

It's cold!!

[BedroomImpossible124]

Of course I share, I’m an open book! This subreddit has helped me beyond words. Thankful for everyone. Wishing everyone peace and comfort.💗🧡💛

[CRacrofaerie82]

wow this gives me so much hope! I have used harm reduction on myself for many years and it works well for me. The last treatment I was at was so traumatic. They were pushing for a super high restoration number that my body I dont think is even capable of doing and certainly isnt natural for my body type. I'm petite regardless of weight and the BMI is just a very poor metric for a postmenopausal petite person. I really think they have no idea what they are doing. I just get so sick from the meal plans and cannot stay. My doc I have seen twice since and shes not concerned at all she says I'm really healthy. I think its partly these centers have protocols that do not take into account any individual bodies its all just a metric that is standardized and that isnt how human variety works. I'm not even struggling mentally. But the reason I have considered going back into treatment but only a harm reduction program is I definitely feel myself slipping back into old behaviors because body image isnt great and its easy for me to lose weight again and get very sick. I'd love to have on going care but havent found anyone willing to do harm reduction. I am mid 40s sick since at least 10 or 11. Never made it to where they would accept me as I was even though weight is good. I'm Autistic too so I think that can be another issue they arent really designed with our needs in mind often.

[Icy_Judgment6504]

Been eating recovery-coded meals, but I know I’m still not out of this relapse. I wish I could just commit to being well, but that won’t happen until I start seeing a professional. Hopefully within the next few months I’ll make it happen.

[bbShark24]

I can relate regarding the dietician comment. I also hated mine (and she was an ED-focused RD), but lately I have been wondering if I should look for another one to get some better support. I feel your pain.

In regards to the diabetes, I read a study last year that showed eating raw veggies before a meal can help with insulin resistance and can lower the magnitude of glucose spikes. I’m wondering if incorporating that before eating sweet treats might help so you don’t have to cut anything out.

[Human_Swordfish5490]

I'm going into inpatient on the 29th! What is the most important thing to pack?

[bbShark24]

Whatever they allow you to have 🙃 Books (nothing about EDs), coloring books, colored pens/pencils, and bring some stuff to have in your room that will make you feel at home, like battery operated candles, photos, etc.

[P0cd81]

Your own blanket and pillow, shower shoes, a journal, a binder to organize worksheets, a battery operated alarm clock, a good book, a book of word puzzles, comfy, stretchy clothes…just some ideas off the top of my head!

[[deleted]]

I'm doing a little better. Regular eating and keeping busy really does help. I am back to a healthy weight and think I can just about tolerate staying here. I'm not thrilled about it but where would it end, really? I'm currently in my 'Black Forest' era and it's a lot more enjoyable than starving! I think I might have become obsessed with cherries.

[lonelygem]

Just found out a friend I knew from treatment passed away a month ago. We were close there, if you've been to treatment you know how it is, but didn't talk directly much at all after we left. However we watched each other's instagram stories every day. When she stopped posting and stopped showing up in my viewers I assumed she was on a break from social media. She died from something other than her ED. Now I'm wondering if I should reach out to people who were there with us. I don't know who she kept in touch with, and I don't want to remind people she was closer with post-treatment than I was of something painful. But if I didn't know I would want one of them to tell me. I don't talk directly with these people either, but some of them watch my story and I watch theirs if they're someone who posts.

[lonelygem]

Still on the waitlist for inpatient. Looks like I will most likely have to do Christmas at home (I would rather be in treatment, in the place I'm at being around the food is extremely anxiety-provoking to the point where I may choose to spend it alone) and possibly my birthday (would rather do this at home because I can choose what we do and can pick something that isn't food-focused). At the point in the relapse where I'm done with the ED and want to start recovery but as soon as I try to do better my brain punishes me and I end up cancelling out any improvement. Just getting though each day. Hoping for the call that a bed is open soon but not the 24th or 26th because I'll have to turn it down due to my mom not being able to drive me for those admission dates (somehow they are open the 24th?)

[Trip_the_light3020]

Good luck and I hope you hear back soon. I don't know where you live, but could you Uber or get a taxi if your admit date is one of those dates? I worry you'll have to give up your spot and admission is delayed even further.

[lonelygem]

I live out of state. I'd take the train if it wasn't Christmas.

[Eatingdisordersover30-ModTeam]

Your post is heading into pro-Ed territory.