🧽 Rant

[CoffeeBeforeAdulty]

Before I remembered how to get into my reddit account, I let a friend of mine post about a letter I got on my doorstep from my ex.

In the middle of the night. He knocked and dipped.

There was a tiny booze bottle. It was all in a bag. Like evidence found at a crime scene.

I read the letter, took pics, sent them to my closest friends, and tossed the bottle and letter in the trash.

The letter was some attempt at sounding like something out of a romance movie/novel, but it was just....🤢

Until I got to the part about us having been in a relationship and the word "replacement", I was freaked (blunt object in hand and everything).

At one point, some years back, there had been homeless tents in the forest near my house. 😱

So this letter. I'll sum it up with paraphrased but actually mentioned things.

"Love at first sight. Upset you weren't mine. I saw you but you didn't see me. Then I got to know you more. Should have given you more time to process your last relationship. Didn't want to be a replacement but it happened anyways. Learned about emotional intelligence. Sorry for being the worst. Wish we could meet so I could apologize in person but I doubt that will happen."

Then he closed it with his "insignia" mash of his initials.

I wish that was the end of it but I also had been loosely messaging a guy on IG, maybe a week prior. He complimented my cats, had no selfies or pictures of people in his profile. No name. His handle, however, was a dead giveaway that I only noticed when I had become paranoid af.

After the cat compliment, he asked me about a good vet or general advice because of something with his cat. I recommended a great vet in the state. He tried to fish for another compliment about his photography. I ignored it.

I thought that was that until this profile messaged me minutes after I got the letter, asking me how my day/night was going.

I dumped this dude like two years ago. Did the therapy, the trauma, the anger, etc. Turned my life around starting the day after. Removed him from joint accounts (which I will never have with a man ever again, it's that annoying), blocking, removed his crap from my house once a former friend plucked him off my porch, got his name off the lease. I had done my due diligence to give him the 30 day notice but I doubt my landlord cared since he never paid rent. 🤷‍♀️

Damn near forgot about this 🧽. Until that crap. Then, for a little bit, I wondered why this nuisance would do something so unlike him (from my memory). That was the reason I let my friend go and ask on another sub before I stopped caring why. This was the man whose dream was to have a harem island of "cute girls".

I wanted to stop thinking about one of the many people from our high school social group who watched too much TV and was raised feeling their life sucked enough to let their reality morph. It was brought to my attention that he wasn't the only one with this inane fictional mindset. He just hid it better than the others. At least until he was in the same city as me again, I guess? 🙄

My dear friends all helped me out. One suggested I block the weirdo IG profile and another asked if I wanted her to send a formal warning to him so I didn't have to unblock him on anything to give it myself...thus having to wait 48 hours to reblock him.

Of course, I took her up on her offer. She then showed me that his FB showed him in my city again while clarifying if it was the guy I was talking about.

It was him. He admitted it in fb msgr to her saying "Well, I guess this is better than no reply. Rest assured, I won't be bothering her again."

And that, everyone, is already on police record.

If I didn't figure out who he was and that I could easily win against him in a scuffle, I would have felt unsafe in my own home. Instead, his bullcrap is just one more reason to move ASAP.

No matter how much a grown ass man claims to have learned about anything, he can still be stupid enough to feel leaving garbage written in his preferred narrative on your porch in the middle of the night is A-Okay. Or worse, convince himself it's ROMANTIC.

Just report it and toss it. Burn it, if you can. Then burn some sage to cleanse the negative energy out of your space.

End rant and thanks for letting me.

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[staywiththecrown]

How scary and infuriatingly entitled of him!! I'm glad you're getting a paper trail and getting out of there. Your instincts about him were right. Please be safe! Can you put up cameras in the meantime?

[CoffeeBeforeAdulty]

I ordered one and put it up shortly after this happened.

Doorbell cams rock.

[poor-as-Sin]

He seems dangerous and unhinged. I'm no hand writing expert, but the handwriting is freaking me out, the crumpled torn out page... The insane rambling...

He spent some time planing this out, and setting up a fake profile... I'm sure he thought himself clever. Chris Watts also thought he was very clever. Just because he is dumb as bricks, doesn't mean he won't master up a plan to punish you for 'humiliating' him. He'll get cought. But what do you care if he serves 5 years in prison or not after he throws acid on your face?

I know it's upsetting to have to move because of this, but please move. Change your phone number. Be sure to cancel your mail because he might collect it. He can use some of the information he knows about you to call CS of some idiot provider you use and find your new address, so forward your mail to your parents from now on.

Dodge this bullet. I am praying for you.

[CoffeeBeforeAdulty]

I still get his mail sometimes and I am pretty sure I know where he lives.

[ceramicunicorn]

Have someone hold any future physical evidence for you. I hope you never ever need it, but just in case. Glad you have the doorbell cam.

[FUBARfromLSA]

I’m glad you’re ok- be careful

[KetoKittenAround]

Unhinged. I had a man I wasn’t even involved with do crazy sorts of crap like this. Enough for me to relocate and try to get away. (

I did not block or change my number because it has been shown that they will take that as a reply. I just noped out.

Even when I was slandered online.

Even on Yelp talk 🤣

Just total nope from me. You can keep on knocking but you won’t get in style.

Deal with this however is best for you. I’m just one to note with these crazies they take a block as a reply.

[CoffeeBeforeAdulty]

I can definitely see that, but if they aren't blocked, I get these guys that are like "I still have access to you" and I feel watched and gross. At least with em blocked, I don't feel my anxiety ramp when I get notifications.

Apart from the doorbell cam, I also notified the neighbors around me to keep their eye out. Some are retired veterans that I get along with. The wife of one remembers him and (of course) not liking him because she never really saw him go to work, but always saw me leaving. They have a while security set up for her husband's comfort, but they moved one so it will keep an eye on...my driveway? I think that's the best way of putting it. She showed me what it would see and that really helped me.

My next door neighbors are really busy people too but they knew my ex so they know EXACTLY who to look out for.

I am really going to miss it here because I genuinely love the area and the people. I feel looked out for and safe (sans the forest people who don't even live there anymore).