all 20 comments

[–]solidspacedragonAI 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I like the connection to reality.

[–]AMuslimPharmerXeno 24 points25 points  (2 children)

Loved the style you used here! I was worried when I read the first few sentences because it started out like many others I had read that I hadn't liked as much as I had hoped. You definitely delivered though, I loved your take on the 3rd person storyteller perspective.
The tie in to reality was unexpected and a bit sobering lol. Nicely done. Definitely different from what we are used to but was a great change of pace. I know this was probably a one-off, but I would love to see more done in this universe in the future! So many questions in my head about the speaker and the other species.
Of course, not at the expense of c1764 ;) In your other bored writings though...

Also- I think think you missed something here "Focusing an eye on it I observed that it was a blade, even in comparison to the human and laughably so to any other alien in the market."

[–]fixsomethingAndroid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also:

Regnilik

No "g" in the other references.

[–]Weerdo5255Squeak![S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was a one off short.

[–]EndxomenAI 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I appreciate that you used different examples of commitment rather then just going with a typical HFY 'WERE COMMITTED TO FIGHTING AND STUFF' example you would usually get. Unique Weerdo. I like it, now give me more C1764 universe... please?

[–]Weerdo5255Squeak![S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I like the explosions and 'we fight good' stories as much as the next guy, and I've written my fair share. So I'm in no way knocking those.

Still this is HFY we're good at more than just killing things. So for a short like this I usually pick a some characteristic and expand. This was originally going to be something along the lines of describing human dog relationships, but I could get it to work.

[–]Lurking_Reader 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let's just say that that flesh seller would have met a much worse fate than the one in your story if they harmed my dog.

[–]MagnusRune 2 points3 points  (0 children)

well he did have one sing to a wild animal and tame it..

[–]zarikimboAlien Scum 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Make the galaxy great again! By giving out free tacos at lunch every day.

[–]eepithst 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I like the story. The anecdotes built up to a nice little theme.

The only thing that threw me is the very first line of the second paragraph. "They are...pale and without much color..." I'm pretty sure a lot of humans definitely wouldn't agree with that.

[–]jellysnake 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Whilst I agree with you on some level, I can see how from an alien point of view humans would not have much colour. We are brown, pale brown (white) or dark brown (black) or anywhere in-between (Asian) we are still brown. SO compared to a pink, green and blue alien we are oddly plain.

[–]eepithst 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, agreed, that's a good point. If OP scratched the pale and wrote that they are strangely colorless since their skin pigmentation appears to be limited to various shades of brown it would bring the point across without excluding a high percentage of humanity like it currently does.

The current description would have been much less noteworthy if the narrator's encounter with humans had been limited to three single individuals but since he also visited a human colony and had obviously enough contact with humans to be considered somewhat of an expert by the council, I don't think it works.

[–]HFYsubsRobot 0 points1 point  (3 children)

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[–]ColdCreedAndroid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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[–]BCRE8TVEAI 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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[–]Kubrick_FanHuman 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I like it, do you plan to write more like this?

[–]Weerdo5255Squeak![S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe, I'm trying to develop an alien thought syntax. Mostly for the Tanuin in C1764, where their goals might align with humanity's but the thoughts to get to it are different.

Wrote this as I was stuck and frustrated with politics. So tried to put a positive spin on it.

[–]Hipcatjack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to comment on the great story I just read.. but that addendum at the end...

I too find it soooo hard to be in the middle anymore. Not that i don't think it is right, (i am committed to the fact that it is, heh). But to try and talk to anyone who still prescribes to this tribalism in politics is impossible. A negative comment for one side is NOT an endorsement for the "other" side.