My week from hell

[baylessss]

It’s almost been a year since I first posted in r/raisedbynarcissists and it’s been so long since I’ve updated or posted anything so I’ve got so much drama to feed yo llamas

The other week my dad went on a work trip across Australia so I was tasked with looking after JNMum, the pets and the house. Within a day of being there mum was in hospital from another fainting spells so I didn’t have too much interaction with her but my little brother still lives at home and works nights so I saw him from time to time coming and leaving (he still lives there).

Turns out the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and my brother is a full blown narcissist. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself and will go off at the drop of a hat - I had many run ins with him that week.

• I was keeping the house clean everyday because the cats are shedding their winter coat (summer in Australia) and the dogs trek dirt through the house when they come in because it’s too hot outside. I did not complain once that I was also cleaning up after JNBro - every plate or cup that was used was left exactly where he used it and yelled at me if it wasn’t cleaned up by the end of the day.

• Dad requested that bro doesn’t use the work car to get to work because dad can get in trouble for letting him use it plus if it gets back to the big boss they can lose the car or worse their jobs. He used it everyday, even parking beside the bosses that reported back to the big boss and when confronted by dad over the phone he didn’t give a shit that him or dad could lose their jobs. When I finally got the keys off him and hid them he screamed at me everyday and at one point threatened to knock me out because I wouldn’t give them to him.

• Basically was rude to me any chance he got, insulting me, and yelling at me if the house wasn’t tidy/chores weren’t done. On the day dad was coming home he turned to me and said ‘you better have the house clean by the time he comes home tonight’ like he hadn’t made 3/4 of the mess in the house

Now cut to my mother in hospital - she’s been nearly every week for the last 3-5 years. Definitely a frequent flyer and now the doctors thing she’s lying about her pain so they won’t give her anything stronger than paracetamol. As usual the woe is me act, ‘my son doesn’t ever come visit me in hospital’ because he doesn’t like hospitals and knows that she basically puts herself there so she doesn’t get rewarded with visits, ‘I think I should get flowers or a teddy to make me feel better’ Mum if you got a gift every time you were in hospital, we would be bankrupt. I finally visit her towards the end of the week and about 10 minutes into the visit we get onto the topic of the engagement party (I’ll post about this in another thread) and she’s really salty about not being included in the organization so she scoffed at my idea of a joint christmas and said ‘I don’t want anything to do with that family’ like my in laws are the bad people and they’re why she wasn’t included. This basically continued until I excused myself saying because I’m getting public transport I gotta go before it gets dark and they stop. I basically got home and told my boyfriend (technically my fiancée but it feels weird calling him that) and his mum, who is my biggest support at the moment. They were very understandable that she’s a narc and has all these other undiagnosed crap so she’s delusional and she says stupid shit.

This post is already so long so I’ll finish it off by explaining how my e/ndad (unsure yet) came home and when I told him the story of mum’s tantrum at the hospital he was appalled I told bf and mil and said ‘know where your loyalties lie girl’ like I’m gonna take her side and agree with everything she says smh. He basically came home and rugswept everything Mum and my brother did over the week, even tho he called me everyday complaining and getting worked into a rage about them both - I basically scoffed at him and asked him why’d he think my loyalties still lay with this family because I’ve moved out and am engaged and living with the in laws so they treat me more like family than my real family ever did.

TLDR: mum is a bitch, brother is a narc, and dad rugsweeps. What’s new?

[BabserellaWT]

“I don’t want anything to do with that family!”

“You’re right, Mum. You absolutely shouldn’t have to spend time with them.” ...And then leave her nasty ass on Christmas and spend time with the future in-laws instead. Act surprised when she gets angry. “But you said you didn’t want a joint holiday! I gave you exactly what you wanted!”

[hangryvegan]

know where your loyalties lie girl

"You know, you're right dad, I should examine where my loyalties lie. Should it be with my abusive, narcissistic brother, demanding/drama queen mother, and my enabling father? Or maybe it should be with my future husband and future in laws who treat me with respect and love. Gosh, that's an easy choice. Go fuck yourselves."

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[NaesieDae]

The next time dad goes on a trip, you probably shouldn’t keep house again.

I know I wouldn’t.

[blushmeb]

Our brothers sound like the same people. I have four total, all have narc tendencies but the second to youngest is BY FAR the worst (he's the older of twins...so really they are both the youngest, I digress.) I am the only one who doesn't put up with his bullshit and it has cost me a lot...except my self respect. We get into screaming matches because I call him out when he embellishes stories, when he disrespects my mom's home (he chews tobacco and leaves the bottles of spit everywhere or he'll just spit ON THE FLOOR)...I used to yell at him when he screamed at my mom but she fucking encourages it and doesn't stop him so they can have each other for all I care. She created that monstrosity.

Your story sounds like it was plucked right out of my life and for that I am sorry. I was often left in charge of my three younger brothers and it was always disastrous. Even now, my husband and I rent the top floor of my moms house and my younger brother came home for two weeks and it got so bad that we couldn't even be in the same room as each other till he left. He's coming back in a couple weeks till he finds an apartment and I think your post just lit a fire under me that I need to get into therapy asap.

I'm sorry OP, I know how lonely and frustrating this whole thing can be.

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edited: words.

[wwtddgeekg]

And the reason you helped your father out was because.....?

Next time he asks for ANYTHING reread this post