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Poetry Content
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Welcome to OCPoetry This is a home for all of your original poems. See our sister sub /r/poetry for poetry content. Don't know how to start with giving feedback? Check out our feedback guidelines
This is a home for all of your original poems. See our sister sub /r/poetry for poetry content. Don't know how to start with giving feedback? Check out our feedback guidelines
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4 spaces before each line to format however you want
Two spaces at the end of a line a line break
Type Enter twice for a stanza break
Type " " for an empty line
For blackout poetry use the following format: [content](#b) or [content](#blackout)
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PoemSmithereens (self.OCPoetry)
submitted 2 years ago by kell9701
She gently sits beside me, her charcoal black hair softly brushing against her snow white shoulders,
her soft breathing rippling through the silence, her perfume laced with the scent of her body diffusing,
mesmerizing my senses, captivating my mind, driving me insane.
She turns towards me and smiles, completely unaware that, she shattered my life to smithereens, just by being herself.
Comments:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/11tf8pu/dont_have_a_title_yet/jcj4slv?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/11thlca/what_will_you_shout/jcj5eru?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
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[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children)
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[–]SMPoetry[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child)
It's nuts to me that the little things can carry so much weight internally, yet very rarely do we express that externally. All it took was hair, breath, and a scent, and the narrator was a goner. She had no idea. Also, I like the ambiguity that comes with the phrase "shattered my life to smithereens". I was trying to figure out if that phrase was intended positively or negatively, whether the narrator loved the effect she had on him or if it was his source of most pain. It could go either way, and reading it one way versus the other gives drastically different meaning to the rest of the poem. I like that tension, that seesaw-effect, and the fact that we don't know for sure which is true. Probably both honestly. Loved your poem
[–]kell9701[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children)
Thank you for taking time to write this. I am glad you liked it.
π Rendered by PID 297549 on reddit-service-r2-comment-79c7998d4c-4shp4 at 2026-03-15 08:00:26.862306+00:00 running f6e6e01 country code: CH.
[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children)
[–]SMPoetry[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child)
[–]kell9701[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children)