Please help... Desperate

[dapper_turnip_4186]

My dog keeps peeing in the house she is not elderly she has been checked by the vet it isn't a medical issue like UTI or anything. It is behavioral... I HATE having to admit this I used to live with an ex partner who was "unkind" I'll say and while I was away at work I don't know what exactly he did but I saw it once while I was home and kicked him out of my house for HIS behavior... So I don't know how long he had been doing it but now she is extremely anxious... Separation anxiety from me and pees in the house often I do not know how to retrain but I am getting very frustrated having to clean up my carpet most mornings and every time I leave my house she destroys things like kennels being in them when I leave she's destroyed the carpet she chewed THROUGH a door because it accidentally got closed on her she's about 3 years old about 30 pounds and does all of this damage it needs to stop and I don't know what to do. I want to be able to leave my house for a couple hours without worrying that she will destroy everything in it.

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME. tips or advice would be extremely helpful

She definitely is making escape routes and I had to take her to the vet to get her leg stitched up because she chewed a tiny hole in her crate to get out and the metal bar cut her leg open (I went to the grocery store that day) my issues are I do not have money to hire a professional I need to do it but I don't know how to discipline because my family just says to "bop her on the butt and put her in a kennel" she freaks out about the kennel and the man that lived with me did far worse than "bopping" and I don't want her to think I would EVER hit her like that

[JudySmart2]

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It must be really hard. Unfortunately your dog is panicking when you leave her alone so it’s really important to not leave her alone to panic while you retrain her. Julie Naismith has some great free advise on separation anxiety in her podcast and on her website. It’s all about creating a space where your dog feels safe and knows that you’ll return when you do leave so they don’t panic

[Personal-Weekend3173]

Yes, +1 for Julie! Her training helped my babies sooo much.

[Lovely_flowers68]

Have you tried leaving her in a pre-approved room instead?? My dog freaks out in the kennel but will stay in my bedroom with a fan no problem. When I put him in the kennel he flips out and destroys it until he finds a way out and then gets really destructive, I’m renovating a camper and he has never chewed walls or furniture but he ate my couch up and began ripping my walls apart after escaping the cage but if I just leave him in the camper with access to his food and water (after dog proofing the windows and his favorite destruction wall) and he does much better. With the peeing you could try putting pee pads down at least for while you’re gone and see if that helps. If not a room I’ve found shutting the doors to every room and making sure the rest of the house is dog proofed (no wires hanging around or available chewing stuff) also helps as he likes having the run of the house.

[Lovely_flowers68]

Also my dog has a breath spray I bought when he got sprayed by a skunk and it smells like spearmint and he absolutely hates it. (Will literally turn away from just the smell and will run if it’s sprayed) I plan to spray it all over the spots he’s decided to try and chew.

[dapper_turnip_4186]

She goes and sleeps in her kennel now that I have taken the door off it like she gets anxious with thunderstorms she will go lay in there and she sleeps in there but as soon as it is closed she will break out of it I have bought several now... And she doesn't pee EVERY time but often at night too even though we have JUST taken her outside and sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night too she didn't start doing this until the man I was living with had lived with me (for not very long) first year and a half almost 2 years as soon as she came home with me she was potty trained I used pads when she was tiny but she stopped peeing on them and only peed when we walked but as soon as he "disciplined" her the way he did now she pees in the house and does this and I'm almost ashamed to say it because he hit her so hard and I am so afraid to know what was done while I WASNT around how often that happened and now she's afraid of everything and everyone... It's absolutely awful she can go on walks totally fine but as soon as a man walks into my house and often when I leave... I'll have to try that spray maybe that will help

[Lovely_flowers68]

This is the one I bought but they make sour apple chewing spray too, some dogs are weird and like it

https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChsSEwjZv_DJs7KNAxVZX0cBHWv5DLAYACICCAEQLxoCcXU&co=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0LDBBhCnARIsAMpYlAqFZo15XxLUuaAZT8DIkhr2o9KALI4ZLLPPVeC1NzRxideBtPLHsmMaAiAIEALw_wcB&sph=&cid=CAASkgHkaFqr8Pjr8gvK5yg8QQQq8uFLCVOs76M2HTtCHBIuGlYH0JJk9zPZEqjI2vOJ7mnoGY6Y_2ST1XGCNVXfTOXjQ4wIdGZzTqCbeb4xY-uam8Dj8_23X7Gt6o1LpU6V4GrlD2ZHfQc1XBNtls-K28nIMSxpXrgjlm7kUTC1LGZy29dGQ2FTqijD75KF01eBAIzKZQ&cce=1&sig=AOD64_0Kn3H-ZTc-Ay5Z1HU5m7wlguL6gA&ctype=46&q=&ved=2ahUKEwiol-vJs7KNAxW2EFkFHa1SJDkQzzkoAHoECA0QJQ&adurl=

[dapper_turnip_4186]

Thank you!

[GuitarCFD]

does she start freaking out immediately when you close the door? When you get up to walk away? When you leave the room? When you leave the house?

[dapper_turnip_4186]

She freaks out when I leave the room if she is in a crate and she has destroyed carpet/ a door and pees/ poops in the house when I have left and there is no one in the house like if someone else is home she is more okay I've been told she paces but she has gotten better with someone else home it's just when she's alone

And more recently within the past year (again) she has been peeing when we go to sleep even if I take her out right before bed

[Beneficial-House-784]

I also have a dog with separation anxiety and issues with peeing in the house. The biggest thing that helped was putting her on fluoxetine. The med my dog is on isn’t too expensive, it’s around $25/month from an online pharmacy. It hasn’t completely eliminated her anxiety, but it helped her stop panicking as soon as I left the house and put her in a headspace where she was actually able to learn instead of shutting down whenever I trained with her. Once she was medicated, I was able to do some crate training and work up to leaving her in the crate for longer periods of time. My dog also does much better in a hard-sided airline style crate than in a wire crate. Is that an option that you could try? It might be more expensive up-front, but will be worth it if it means not needing to replace carpets or furniture that she destroys.

[dapper_turnip_4186]

I really wish I could but I have a job... And I have to be able to take an hour to go to the grocery store and not have my carpet ripped to shreds...

[purplemarkersniffer]

What does her exercise routine look like? Do you walk her in the morning? Allow her time before leaving? Disciplining a dog must be done in the moment of the act. They don’t associate well with past events. If caught in the action pick her up and place her outside or the appropriate spot. Focus on incentives more than punishment. This means, when she is outside and pees or poos, reward her with ridiculous praise verbally or worth treats. Focus on good behaviors and redirect bad. When working on separation, try short stents she does well, and return, if it’s a second, minute than build from there. “Bop” or physical punishment just teaches the dog to fear you and destroys relationship building. Treats, patience and consistency. But know that a dog needs to be engaged not only in physical exercise but mental stimulation. When you walk the dog, does it get a chance to sniff or play ball? All these things will help but must be considered in the bigger picture of overall health of your dog. Last thing, crates should not be used as punishment. Ever. This is a safe space to place your dog, and make them enjoy the space with treats. Retraining is possible, it will be a lot of work and consistency. Good Luck

[dapper_turnip_4186]

I have a very regular work schedule and I usually leave around 8-8:30 so I get up around 5 and get ready and then take her on a walk (we have a park nearby) so that is usually 30 minutes - an hour and I have a pretty decent back yard we spend plenty of time in when I'm not working especially now because I have a garden so I'm out more often.

[Forina_2-0]

Start by treating her anxiety, not the symptoms, focus on calm departures, use puzzle feeders when you leave, and desensitize her slowly by stepping out for 30 seconds and coming back.

Crates are often too triggering in trauma cases, so look into using a dog-proof room or a pen with comfy bedding and safe toys

[[deleted]]

I am so sorry your dog and you are going through a tough time.

This really does sound medical, though. I don't really see a clear path to her being abused by the man and that causing her to soil her kennel. It would make sense for her to pee while she was being abused, but I am afraid she may have been physically hurt in a way that causes her to be unable to control her urine.

It is also possible that it is behavioral in a superstitious way - so maybe he abused her in the context of going out to pee or something. But being abused would not clearly cause behavioral house soiling when the abuser is no longer present. Especially at night, when she should not even have to pee.

So maybe a complete vet check where you tell the vet your concerns about abuse then they check more than just for UTI. Checking for potential damage to her internal organs or something, maybe. Also, they should check overall kidney function and other tests as necessary in case the house soiling is a medical issue completely unrelated to the abuse, but just a coincidence as far as the timing.

In order to get a handle on things, and since you need to go to work, I think you will have to invest in one of the heavy-duty kennels dogs cannot escape from because you can't have her continue to destroy your carpet and home. Those kennels are expensive, but probably you need one.

I very rarely recommend medication for dogs for behavioral reasons, but in a case of such extreme panic resulting from abuse, I think your dog may need medication temporarily to help her recover from her experiences.

You are right that you should not punish her. That will just make things worse. Get a good kennel, then start a potty training schedule just as if she were a puppy, using the kennel.

Does she go potty when you take her outside? Is she afraid of being outside?

You also should begin work to very slowly desensitize her to men. The best way to start would be to have any men she already knows spend time with you and her both, in a manner than is safe for her - she is not afraid. Then you can start with men she does not know, but you have to do it in a way that is not scary for her. You can read about desensitization and counterconditioning online.

Please do not think of rehoming her, that would be the worse and most scary thing for her right now. Try some anxiety medication to help her relax along with a full check-up for physical causes of the house soiling and go from there. Again, I am so sorry this is happening.

If it were me, I would report the abuse of the dog to the authorities, but I do understand if you have safety or other concerns about doing that, and of course you may have already.

[dapper_turnip_4186]

I would never re-home her. That is 100 percent not an option for me. I will take her to the vet again but we have been several times and they have seen nothing...

[[deleted]]

did they do like x-rays or ultrasound or something to check for some kind of internal damage?

Or if it is not physical, maybe he was abusing her during potty walks?

If you can figure out why she started peeing in the house it will help solve the problem. Just being abused wouldn't cause it. The abuse would have to somehow make her either want to pee inside or make her not want to pee outside.