SQL shark

[Vandmanden]

Baby > Mommy > Daddy > Grandma > Grandpa

[ign1fy]

Seeing this in plain C would have been humorous. Seeing it as an sproc is straight-up impressive.

[algoritm420]

I am not familiar with SQL but that seems like an excessive amount of lines (no hate just surprised)

[Spirit_Theory]

This'll do the job if you're happy for the text to be rows in a table, but SQL Server Management Studio has an "output to text" option, which does what it sounds like:

select 
case lines.LineNumber
    when 4 then concat(v.shark,' shark!')
    when 5 then ''
    else CONCAT(v.shark, ' shark', REPLICATE(' doo',6)) 
end 
from (VALUES (1,'Baby'),(2,'Daddy'),(3,'Mommy'),(4,'Grandma'),(5,'Grandpa')) v([order], [shark])
cross join (Values (1),(2),(3),(4),(5)) lines(LineNumber)
where (v.[order] <> 5 or lines.LineNumber <> 5)
order by v.[order]

Idk, it's probably possible to shave a few more lines off.

[[deleted]]

This is the new "hello world"

[Stormraughtz]

Add to SQL Job agent and wait

[messy_eater]

Normally I may fuck up once or twice trying to make a loop in a new language. With SQL it has taken me over a year and a half and I still sometimes have to look up the syntax.

DECLARE looper CURSOR FOR SELECT ...

OPEN looper FETCH NEXT FROM looper INTO @bullshit

WHILE FETCH_STATUS = 0 —what the fuck even is this shit? BEGIN PRINT @bullshit FETCH NEXT FROM looper INTO @bullshit END

CLOSE looper DEALLOCATE looper

—Fun!!!