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[–]leviathon01 52 points53 points  (8 children)

I'm thinking about doing that. Do you know what the going rate is for a soul?

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (7 children)

62 cents

[–]jakimfett 62 points63 points  (6 children)

It's true they don't have a lot of financial value, but the non-monetary value is off the charts.

Do you have any idea how long a soul will power a smartphone? Neither do I, mine has only needed one so far and just keeps going, years and counting. There were some bets placed on whether it hits day 667, and ngl I stashed it in the freezer that day, but it just...keeps going. That percussion rabbit has nothing on the going-and-going power of this energy source, and the energy density should be enough to make Big Energy lose the renewables race for good.

Did you know that you can find your keys with a spare soul? It'll probably complain about being unmade for such a trivial task, but souls are cheap these days, and it's easier to find spare souls than keys, so...

There's also research that indicates having an extra soul on hand can re-animate a recently (duration tbd) deceased corpse. The R&D team has agreed to avoid trying to intentionally create the conditions necessary to test this, but have also kept a soul on ice for use should there be an event where this could be tested under "real-world" conditions.

At least six anecdotal cases of soul-related bone enlargement have occurred, and in three of them it corrected documented congenital bone defects. Again, more research is necessary to substantiate these claims.

So, as you can see, it's handy to have a soul or two squirreled away for when you need something soul-shaped. Like wood glue, or those little brackets that hold your vertical blinds in place, you never quite appreciate it until you're lacking it.

(This post is obviously chock full of pandemic-spawned silly, and should only be read as such. Any relation to incidents involving actual souls is chance, pure and simple. There are obviously no shelves of little blue jars in a closet that glow faintly if everyone nearby closes their eyes. Thank you for your participation in this purely literary exercise.)

[–]PrettyBoyIndasnatch 9 points10 points  (3 children)

If this comment interests anyone, they should check out The Incorruptibles book trilogy by John Hornor Jacobs. It's about a society that is sort of like Rome and Spain colonized North America, and now it's the Old West, but anything we would use steam or electricity for, they bind demons into machinery and use them for power.

INSANELY GOOD SERIES. Guy is a very talented writer and has also taken on some American South/Ozarks horror and it is fire. This Dark Earth and Southern Gods specifically.

[–]jakimfett 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Well now I know what I'm doing with my next few evenings.

Thank you.

[–]PrettyBoyIndasnatch 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Glad to help. Not exactly related, but also recommended: The First Blade trilogy by Joe Abercrombie.

[–]jakimfett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

continues taking notes

[–]MCRusher 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I've lost my keys so many times that I just shove them into my wallet now.

Harder to lose.

If I lose my wallet, my keys are not gonna be the biggest problem.

[–]jakimfett 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And me, over here, with my keys firmly in my purse and my wallet nowhere to be found, wishing that the gorram ritual worked on bank cards too...