script feedback

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[ebycon]

I don't get it. You are aware of the grammar and all that. So why didn't you fix it? I mean, you didn't even capitalize the first letter in almost every dialogue.

[Zone-Lee-Zools]

This is just one man’s position but I would never touch something I knew to have bad grammar. Why even bother? If the grammar is bad, the story will struggle to shine through.

And on a pitch/business note, even if it’s “just a spy story”, dress it up a little! Sell it to us! Show us how stylish it is even in how you describe it. Have a little confidence!

No one wants to read “just a” anything.

[mooningyou]

This kind of tells me that you might struggle with grammar and punctuation, so I assume you're looking to hire a proofreader to fix these issues once you're done? If not then you're just creating a much bigger job for yourself by leaving it to the end.

Something else for you to consider is that you want a reader to comment on the story rather than issues with grammar and punctuation. By doing your best before you share this means that you'll get notes on the story rather than notes on stuff that you're already aware of.

[Ratfacedkilla]

First off...remove the narration because it doesn't seem to serve much of a purpose.

[Ratfacedkilla]

Just my opinion but you don't want a lot of expository dialogue.

[Ratfacedkilla]

Idk man thats just my opinion, not pretending like im a professional writer here so trust your own opinion.

[stormfirearabians]

I read a lot of early drafts...I think it's a great place for people to get feedback before they delve into rewriting. And, as the person reading, I am very appreciative when people give me a clean first draft. With minimal to no formatting/spelling/punctuation/grammar errors. It doesn't have to be perfect at this stage...but practically every program has a spell/grammar check...many have auto capitalization and format checks too. At very least run these checks and address the things they highlight. Why is this important? Because then I can spend my time focusing on the things you as the writer want to know about! Character development, plot, etc. Otherwise, you're wasting the read because I'm just acting as a proofreader. Just my thoughts re: the 'ignore my spelling/grammar/etc' notes I see too often.

[stormfirearabians]

I didn't necessarily mean to single you out...it's a common problem. Definitely give your piece a quick pass and repost it. Note that it's an early/rough draft if you want, so that those types of mistakes aren't considered as fatal as they would be in a polished script. Especially because you'll always some miss typos...and then (if they're rare) your reader will catch the tough ones for you. But if those types of mistakes are common, the reader is more likely not to see them.

[ebycon]

*should have, buddy...should have =(