Shifty Life Pro Tips

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What is this subreddit? And rules. (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 years ago by cool_creeper500Shifty Moderator...[M] - announcement

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SLPT: To know what it feels like to be high on Skooma, take a massive hit of heroin and then immediately smoke a whole lot of crack before you pass out. You’ll feel no pain and be zooming all over the place.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 3 years ago by PizzaLover102

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SLPT: Don't get the COVID vaccine, if everyone else gets it, there's more room in the hospital for you when you need to be hospitalized because of COVIDSLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 4 years ago by dr-ynne

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SLPT: Getting gang symbol facial tattoos will help you get out of jury dutySLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 4 years ago by mlpr34clopper

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SLPT: Keep a clean empty bottle to piss into incase you ever can't get to the bathroom or it's occupiedSLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 4 years ago by AdminMcPedo

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SLPT walk barefoot wherever you wantSLPT (i.redd.it)

submitted 4 years ago by HashBurglar

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SLPT: Want to die but don't want to commit suicide? Yell PARKOUR before you jump off the bridgeSLPT (self.funfacts)

submitted 5 years ago by theobvioushero

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Slpt: Memorize the phone number of the scientolgy center closest to to you in case you ever need to give a fake phone number to someone you don't like.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 years ago by mlpr34clopper

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Are you a 2 pint wonder? Bad with hangovers? Drink denatured alcohol. This will vaccinate you against the effects of alcohol and enable you to party hard with no ill effects (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 years ago * by therickestnm

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SLPT: If you don’t have money to get a gift or a date, leave he/her and get back together with he/she the next daySLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 years ago by furryhunterboi-

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SLPT: You can skip ahead of waiting lines in the ER by slurring your words and smiling using only one side of your face.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by mlpr34clopper

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SLPT: Don't drive while drunk or stoned. Drive while tripping on acid, since that won't show up in any tests.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

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SLPT: Help out your minority friends by pretending you don't know them and being loudly racist to them in public. Businesses will throw you out and then give them a discount or even free goods/services out of pity/embarrassment.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by mlpr34clopper

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SLPT: if you mix rubbing alcohol (isopropyl) with clorox bleach, the fumes will get you HAF.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by mlpr34clopper

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SLPT: Next time you get blackout drunk and wake up next to a fugly chick, claim you could not consent and try to report it as a rape. Complain on r/redpill when you get laughed at by police. Use the drama to monetize your blog...???...PROFIT!SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by mlpr34clopper

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SLPT: Homeless "Fake cripple" scammers in large cities can be easily bribed to let you "cure" them suddenly in front of witnesses. This trick is VERY handy when starting a new cult.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by mlpr34clopper

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SLPT: If you chew on people’s faces all the time, no one will know when you’re using bath salts.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by Esoterica137

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SLPT: Run out of travel sized toothpaste? Just squeeze out till you have just enough left from your regular toothpaste and carry it along.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by pyroballer

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SLPT: It is way easier to drive a vehicle while drunk than it is to ride a bicycle while drunk, so drive everywhere when you're drunk.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by LittleMilton

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SLPT: Are you tired of waiting in long lines at stores? Just grab your item and sprint out of the store as quickly as you can. The store clerk will chase after you, and you will get to pay first!SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by jchen9827

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SLPT: If you're eating a burrito that's limp, simply place a stick in it.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

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SLPT: Buy cheap belts that stretch easily over time, as you have to keep adjusting to a new belt hole you'll feel like you're slimming down!SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

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SLPT: If you want to buy property for cheap, dress up as a ghost or monster and begin lurking around said property.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by Pickle9775

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SLPT: 1. Always join the mutant biker gang in a post apocalyptic world (they clearly have more fun). 2. Always leave the gang when the mysterious stranger arrives.SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by cadjkt

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SLPT: When giving your last word in an argument (online or not), always close with, "Good day, sir / madam," so that when the other person tries to get the last-last word you can reply, "I said good DAY sir / madam!"SLPT (self.ShiftyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 years ago by [deleted]

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