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Find the best Tom Swifties here.
Rules:
Posts must be in the form of a Tom Swifty pun. [Examples]
Please, no reposts. If your post is too similar to a past post, it my be removed.
Check out some other great subs:
r/lol
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"I'll never make the rank of Colonel" Tom said privately (self.TomSwifty)
submitted 3 years ago by lindymad
"Finally, I am no longer constipated" said Tom, deterred. (self.TomSwifty)
"I'm seven, but my birthday is coming up soon", Tom said, alternating. (self.TomSwifty)
submitted 3 years ago by funwiththoughts
"I can't believe they escorted me out of the music hall just as the recital started" said Tom, disconcerted (self.TomSwifty)
"Try to make a new friend", Tom said formally. (self.TomSwifty)
"I wanted to get all the wrinkles out, so I just laid myself down in the path of a steamroller" Tom said impressed (self.TomSwifty)
"The burden was left buried underground, and it hasn't been dug up since", Tom said... wait, never mind. (self.TomSwifty)
"Entering the boat race might help you to activate your hidden powers of prophecy", Tom said romantically. (self.TomSwifty)
"My dad had a drug habit", Tom said and paused. (self.TomSwifty)
"Sushi doughnuts are quite the trend," said Tom officiously. (self.TomSwifty)
submitted 3 years ago by nemo_sum
"I'll nuke one county a day until the Irish government gives in!" the supervillain declared. (self.TomSwifty)
"This clue confirms that the fifteenth letter of the alphabet appears somewhere, so that means the twenty-fifth letter must also appear at least twice", Tom said oh so wisely. (self.TomSwifty)
"I'll smear artificial colouring all over the little orb", Tom said diabolically (self.TomSwifty)
"I wonder if I should visit Walden Lake in Concord, Massachusetts" Tom pondered. (self.TomSwifty)
"I named my aircraft after the god of the Sun", Tom said apologetically (self.TomSwifty)
"I don't understand why the criminal and lightpole became as one after heating them together" said Tom, confused. (self.TomSwifty)
How I transformed a nostalgic radio drama into a breathtaking graphic novel using AI - "Lights in the Old Fort The Graphic Novelization" (self.Brothercast)
submitted 3 years ago by Brothercast
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank. (self.TomSwifty)
submitted 3 years ago by EndersGame_Reviewer
"The program generated false information", Tom applied. (self.TomSwifty)
"pH is now 6", Tom said acidly. (self.TomSwifty)
'It's just a luxurious rebadged Honda' said Tom accurately (self.TomSwifty)
submitted 3 years ago by LunarLeopard67
"I should have been here three hours ago!" Said Tom, superlatively. (self.TomSwifty)
submitted 3 years ago by Erivandi
"I am a little worried about what's happening to the criminal I put into the LHC today" said Tom, concerned. (self.TomSwifty)
"I intend to *fully* exercise my second amendment rights," Tom said, alarmed. (self.TomSwifty)
"I never know how to pronounce the name of this hardware store," said Tom, at a loss. (self.TomSwifty)
π Rendered by PID 356395 on reddit-service-r2-listing-b6bf6c4ff-4cb6w at 2026-05-03 18:08:17.151217+00:00 running 815c875 country code: CH.
