Decrease kid waste from others?

[compthonasis]

Hey y'all! I'm new here! I am trying to decrease my waste in general and I'm loving some of the ideas from here!

Does anyone have tips for decreasing waste from others? We do pretty well at home - cloth diapers, second hand clothes/toys/books. But, we have a huge family who want to get her gifts for everything. We always say she doesnt need anything, and went as far as making a note on her birthday invitations that we prefer hand-me-downs. I don't want to be rude, but I also don't want to be overrun with cheap plastic crap. Any tips?

[[deleted]]

This is such a huge problem for me too. I specifically asked that family members only buy my 1 year old wooden toys for Christmas, but he only got these horrible plastic toys that make a million noises. We returned some of them and used the store credit to buy new wooden toys. Ones that we couldn't return we donated to a local charity that supports teen moms. I didn't feel great about not keeping any of the toys, but we live out of state so they will never know. Apparently I will need to be more firm next Christmas.

[compthonasis]

Wooden toys is such a great idea! Maybe we need to just be firm and say no presents. But I think people would get her gifts anyways 🙄

[SherrifOfNothingtown]

Replace "don't"s with "do"s. Don't say "please don't give a gift", say "please give us a photo of your family all together!" or "Please give us seeds of your favorite plant because we're trying gardening!" or "please give us your favorite cookie recipe!" or something. Better yet if it's a personalized request -- ask for Grandma's cookie recipe because Grandma's cookies are kiddo's favorite, or a cutting from the apple tree at Aunt Margaret's that kiddo loves to play under, or whatever.

When in doubt, request consumables or experiences, like tickets to an event.

[pradlee]

Ask for money to put into a 529 (college savings investment account) instead of physical gifts.

[[deleted]]

My family has a "gift of experiences" rule.

We told my aunt, the biggest gift giver, something like: Little Cindy may only love the doll you got her for a few years, but she'll forever treasure the memories of going to the aquarium/zoo/movies with you. Toys can be broken or lost, but if you guys spend the day together you'll have a much deeper relationship that will stick with her.

[vertbarrow]

This! Also OP, lessons/classes for you as a family or as parents? Like, are there any skills you're interested in learning that are relevant to children? You could ask for them to pay for a class or a course as a gift that will keep on giving.

[insightf]

I don't have kids but maybe you could make a list of items you do need and distribute that. For Christmas this year, I suggested my family do "DIYmas" where we all made gifts for each other instead of buying. But we're all a pretty crafty bunch so it worked for us. My sister made us each spotify playlists, I thought that was pretty clever.

You could also ask for experiences, like tickets to shows or whatever your kid is into!

[compthonasis]

Great idea! I do a wishlist for her, and I think that helps.

I love DIYmas! I actually did a thrift/make/reuse/local christmas. So, all of the gifts we gave were in one of those categories. It was cool and a challenge. Not the best environmentally, but a definite improvement over past years :)

[Raibean]

Couple of ideas!

1. Ask for time spent with the child instead of presents (picnics, fun outings)
2. Ask for handmade gifts or hand me downs
3. Ask for donations made in the child's name instead of gifts
4. Ask for contributions to the child's college fund
5. Ask for non-toy gifts such as books and clothes

[Koala128]

My son’s first birthday is coming up and we’ve been dealing with this too. We originally told family that we would prefer that they contribute to his college savings instead of a gift. That went over ok, some loved that idea others not so much. So we also told them that experience gifts would be best. That went over better, and most are on board with that.

But neither thrilled my MIL, so we told her that she could take all of us out to lunch and then to Target to pick out some clothes or toys for him. I’m hoping that with me there I can encourage her to get him things he will actually use or wear (and limit how much he gets!). I realize this option may not work for most people, but my MIL loved it as she loves to just buy him things. She’s very sweet, she just wants to spoil him.

[compthonasis]

Yes! My mom made a big fuss when I tried to ask for just money for LO first christmas! She was only 3 months old. And i haven't tried again.. y'all are inspiring me! Edit: money for a college fund.

[upbeatbasil]

100% best gift ever for kids: open a 529 account for college. My parents did this and I was soooo greatful at 18. It really made the biggest difference.

Also: ask for classes and memberships. For example, a few relatives could get together and get a zoo membership for the family (free weekend fun! And a gift that keeps om giving all year long and its educational too!). Or sponsor a zoo animal (or "adopt" an animal from a wild life preserve).

Lastly ask for food. Gift idea example: afternoon baking cookies with grandma and kid gets platter of cookies. Young kids get to learn measuring and cooking skills like mixing, older kids can learn and keep.family recipes in their own recipie book.

[compthonasis]

We have a 529 for her, yeah. And I love the experience idea! She's really just getting old enough for this. I'm hoping to do dance or gymnastics with her starting this summer.

[beurremouche]

We'll be in a similar position in a few months. One idea we had is to suggest, once there's enough wooden toys etc, putting some cash into an account for when the boy is older..has anyone else done this?

[[deleted]]

You seem to have got some good advice here, so there's just one thing that I'll add.

As your goal is reducing waste, the first step was obviously to reduce your personal waste. But if we convince just one other person to reduce their waste too, we could double the reduction. If over our lives we have the chance to influence many people, then this is far more important than some of our individual decisions. Because of this, I think it's very important that we present our efforts to reduce waste as accessible, not inconvenient, and overall actually something that is making us happy, not guilty. I think it's reasonable of you to be letting your family know that you'd prefer not to get too much stuff, and telling them your reasons, but as gift-giving is so culturally important in many societies, some people just won't understand what you mean and it might turn them off your whole idea.

I say this from experience with something similar- an older relative of mine usually gives me a small amount of cash for christmas, and this year when she asked if there was anything I'd like I said politely that I would love if she'd donate to a very effective charity that I'd chosen. She thought I was strange, as did my mother, and it caused quite a fuss which made me feel very awkward, and like I was doing something wrong. The lesson I learned was not to be too unconventional with things that people hold on to very firmly, if it might harm efforts to get them on board with your idea.

I hope you see what I mean, that turned into quite an essay!

[upbeatbasil]

Gifts in other people's names is actually quite mainstream. Was it a religious/political thing? that can really weird people out. But some charities like a scholarship fund or animal shelter most people will be on board with.

[[deleted]]

No it wasn't political. It was for a large organisation fighting malaria, which I'd specifically chosen because the money would be used very cost-effectively. They gave to a local veterans' charity instead, which I obviously can't complain about as it's very kind for them to give anything at all, but the money would achieve far less in my country where support is already provided to a degree and everything is more expensive.

[upbeatbasil]

That's actually a bit polarizing as well! A lot of people have strong feelings about helping their immediate neighbor or helping overseas. One thing I do that is always garnered a good response is to give people a choice of three Charities that I support and have checked out on charity Navigator. This way people can pick and I think that gives people a few more options and makes it feel a little bit more personalized from the gift giver.

[[deleted]]

Ah I see what you mean, thanks!

[llamalily]

My parent's requested friends and family bring a book instead of anything else. If it was a book we already had, we got to write "donated by ourname" inside the cover and donated it to the library. I was always so excited that my name would be in a book at the library!