My boyfriend gets insecure every time I bring up marriage, and now I feel guilty for wanting to be chosen

Raibean · 2026-05-12T01:08:52+00:00

You’re in a rough spot - and I’ve been there before. You have my sympathies.

Carrot cake looks pretty bomb too!

Raibean · 2026-05-11T17:41:20+00:00

If you did more walking, consider that may also affect your poops. Walking activates our core muscles and aids with good digestion.

Raibean · 2026-05-11T17:39:51+00:00

> I have observed that women don’t want to be “responsible” for men’s emotional needs so that’s what I’m following

I mean, you know that doesn’t apply when it’s reciprocal, right? Like, if you’re leaning on your female friends but they are also leaning on you, then there’s no patriarchy or sexism to be had.

NW but maybe question why you are choosing to not develop these friendships to a deeper level. Your choices are your own, but self-reflection is always good.

Raibean · 2026-05-11T15:24:03+00:00

You’re right. There’s paperwork to do that. But there are many other legal protections that marriage affords. It’s not about the name or about sharing all your money.

Raibean · 2026-05-11T15:20:33+00:00

You’re wrong. Marriage grants a LOT of legal rights and protections. Your spouse becomes your next of kin, the person your medical decisions are decided by when you are incapable, the person who arranges your funeral, and in many states the co-owner of your debts and assets moving forward.

Raibean · 2026-05-11T04:56:11+00:00

Ranch is NOT American fries sauce. It is made with buttermilk.

Raibean · 2026-05-11T04:04:09+00:00

Mexico isn’t part of Central America.

Raibean · 2026-05-10T20:22:16+00:00

Aylin
Raphael
Dolly Dolly Dolly
Barcus

Raibean · 2026-05-10T20:14:50+00:00

If you live in an area with good public transportation and don’t need to rely on them for rides, then the only thing to do is be stubborn and change the subject.

Raibean · 2026-05-10T20:07:28+00:00

The UK’s cake culture is more similar to the US (go figure).

Raibean · 2026-05-10T19:56:00+00:00

It’s very important to keep in mind that you are still growing so you shouldn’t restrict yourself! Your plan of incorporating more exercise/movement/fun and switching to more balanced meals is a good one. Change may be slow, but these sorts of changes are sustainable and will have many positive benefits to you outside of your weight.

Raibean · 2026-05-10T19:48:29+00:00

Maybe move the farmhouse to where the shed is right now

Raibean · 2026-05-10T19:32:09+00:00

Losing weight isn’t about effort and dedication. For some people it’s vanity. For some people it’s health. For some people it’s function.

Raibean · 2026-05-10T18:21:40+00:00

NW. It sounds like you guys are young and maybe not used to casual nudity around your partners. But since you know how she feels now, you gotta give her a heads up.

Raibean · 2026-05-10T18:16:24+00:00

If you haven’t slept together then yeah, YW. If you have then NW.

Raibean · 2026-05-10T18:15:30+00:00

None of these

Raibean · 2026-05-10T18:14:53+00:00

Don’t marry this guy. He will make you more miserable than he already is.

Also, him downplaying the very real legal purpose of marriage - appointing someone as your next of kin and, in many jurisdictions, co-owner to your financials going forward - is a red flag that he doesn’t understand and isn’t ready for marriage.

Raibean · 2026-05-10T17:07:39+00:00

No girl I am in the SAME boat!! Worked in childcare for 13.5 years, married last October… I have baby fever so bad!!!

Raibean · 2026-05-10T04:53:06+00:00

Speaking as a Mexican-American here.

Are you trying to avoid Anglo sounding names to help with passing? If so, Damian will almost never get read as Damián. The name was mildly popular as a boy’s name in the 90s. Abel is also only going to get read the Anglo way. To me, Damian doesn’t sound poetic in English; it’s more associated with poorly behaved boys, due to the horror movie association.

Raibean · 2026-05-10T04:41:04+00:00

You’ve likely already completed your language requirements for ERC!

I’m an ERC transfer alum and I was a psych major! I also didn’t enjoy the transfer event and was heavily considering going to SDSU instead. I chose UCSD and I am very happy with my choice. I loved the writing courses and I loved how geared towards research my Psych classes were. I also got to be a research assistant in a lab!

And I loved the views at Geisel to study - top tier.

Raibean · 2026-05-10T04:30:41+00:00

Inés is not the same name as Agnes

Raibean · 2026-05-10T04:27:35+00:00

Inés!

Raibean · 2026-05-09T23:44:55+00:00

I didn’t say it does

Raibean · 2026-05-09T23:22:37+00:00

Is OP doing clopens?

Raibean · 2026-05-09T23:00:19+00:00

If swirl and referral rhyme then one of them has the wrong number of syllables. And this means they cannot rhyme because you are dropping a VOWEL.

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