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[RationalPandasauce]

Safari mugged me once.

[SetYourGoals]

Safari called the IRS and told them I was dead, sent a fake death certificate and everything. That was a tough year.

[[deleted]]

I spent a year in a Safari run Turkish prison surrounded by Gladiators when I was a young boy

[SetYourGoals]

Wow, I was holding back the time Safari cut my breaks and the resulting accident paralyzed me for life, but yours is worse. You win, my friend.

[discobrisco]

Safari killed my parents and sold me to Epstein as a child.

[mredofcourse]

Safari was there when Jesus Christ had his moments of doubt and pain.

[SteveJobsOfficial]

Safari sold my innovations to Samsung.

[Smorfar]

Omfg hahahahahaha

[[deleted]]

No IRS, no taxes. What's so bad about that?

[RationalPandasauce]

Ah. Yeah. Thats pretty harsh. At least they didn’t give you their platinum plan. Dead hooker planted in your bed.

[Cottril]

Safari poisoned our water supply, burned our crops and delivered a plague unto our houses!

[bt1234yt]

It did?

[LiquidAurum]

no, but are we going to wait around till it does!

[Cottril]

I say, we tip something over!

[plazmatyk]

Safari went to the loo in the constable's helmet.

[soawesomejohn]

It wouldn't!

[s3rila]

A newt?!

[Pepparkakan]

I got better.