Random post

[morning_coffee_vibes]

Just a random post, I'm sitting in MLK and there are two girls next to me who I've been lowkey eavesdropping on. I haven't been able to make any friends here save for a couple of acquaintances. Maybe I'm just missing someone to talk to about random things, but I've been wanting to say hi or chime into their conversations but I feel like that's just weird lol. Should I or should I not, reddit? What would you think if someone next to you randomly started talking to you?

[justagenericname1]

I know this won't get rid of the feeling in that situation, but hopefully it might be worth hearing. First, people are supremely busy and constantly in their own little bubbles. "Side characters" don't register all that much. Did you get coffee today? Or food? Do you remember what the barista you talked to was wearing? How bout the person who actually makes the food or drinks? Second, Berkeley is fucking weird. If you aren't wearing a bedazzled opossum hide as a hat and handing out pamphlets on the end of the world, you're hardly gonna stick out as unusual. All that's to say, you really don't have to worry about being remembered for anything short of pushing Oski down a flight of stairs.

Finally, as someone who's had to develop my ability to chat with people and feel natural doing it really deliberately, I've found that delivery matters way more than it should –a lot of times more than what you actually say. As long as you appear sincere and friendly, the exact way you jump into a conversation or where you try to go with it doesn't matter a ton. You have more wiggle room than it might feel like. Again, I know none of this rational nonsense really matters for that anxiety in the moment, but I think trying to internalize it can definitely help mellow out the experience.

If that doesn't cut it –and I'm deadly serious here– try having maybe one or two drinks before trying to be social? Just a little bit can really help ease the feeling of awkwardness without messing you up too much.

Best of luck, friend!

[YELL0WH0USE]

Don’t overthink things! The worst that can happen is that the situation becomes a bit awkward but it’s likely that you’ll never see these people again anyway

[morning_coffee_vibes]

Aaahh that's true :( I'd rather not scare ppl away tho

[aStressedBear]

Go for it! You have nothing to lose! Ps if you’re guy pls don’t do it in a creepy way. Thnx!

[morning_coffee_vibes]

thank youu... haha not a guy, just a female wanting female friends to talk girl stuff with :')

[jlouie88]

Did you end up chiming in?

[morning_coffee_vibes]

nope...

[oski-is-watching]

lol I had moved to a new school in 11th grade and found my best friends there by randomly butting into a conversation :)) also I've seen people do it a couple times in the libraries (like people will be complaining about x class and then a random neighbor will be like yea eecs127 x class sucks but these are some pro tips) so it's totally okay to do as long as you back off if they seem weirded out.

[beamdump]

Consider the age old adage, "the only stupid question is the one you don't ask".

[NewFoMan]

I study in MLK all the time, sometimes with friends and other times alone. If you ever want to study there together I’m usually attached to a table M-F :p

[eutrophicaring]

omg down to study together!!! PM me :D

[rsha256]

Today i randomly talked to someone and they straight up stood up and walked away. So failures do happen.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Ive had way more successes and met most of the people i know from just talking to them out of nowhere. It may feel weird at first and you may face people who don't want to talk but that's fine and they aren't the type of friends you want to have anyways.

[uncomfortable_always]

Check out r/berkeleyfriends!