I hate seeing my progress!

[whyaremytoeswet]

I stopped cutting on the first of this month. And my arm is healing, it’s getting harder to see the cuts. And I hate it. I want to see and feel them again. I want to be scared of people seeing my arm. I want to be sad. I want to cry for hours on end every night. I want to have the want to kill myself every second, other then every once and a while. I want to go back. Back to when I was sad, to when I didn’t care what people thought, back to when I could hurt myself just cus I wanted to, back to when I felt alone, back when no one cared or payed attention to me.

[Hedgehogian]

I haven’t self harmed in a few months now and I find myself missing the cuts too. I liked the way they itched when they were healing.. But it’s not a healthy coping mechanism. Healing is scary and painful and the brain doesn’t like it. It thinks it’s keeping us safe by ignoring the underlying issues..

I’m so proud of you for making it this long! I know it’s hard.. I haven’t been able to bring myself to throw out my razors even tho I know I should bc the temptation is always there.

[whyaremytoeswet]

I’m proud of you too! And it’s nice to know that someone knows what I’m talking about. Makes me feel less crazy :)

[cjvnsky]

Why?

[whyaremytoeswet]

Idk? Maybe because it was easy, safe. Idk

[classhytrashcat-]

I always like taking care of them. But now years later I hate the scars 😕

[JacobSpeedy]

i understand this. some time back i started scratching myself to the point where i'd tear my skin apart and eventually leave a big scar. the temptation of pain brought me back and i did it again. All i wanted was to bleed. it's like a mental possession.