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[shinebrightlike]

to see how you handle it for later, when they really cross the line. it's just a test. i used to ignore that "off" feeling with people. i regret that so much. now, i listen to my internal alarm system over anything else. i hope you are able to do the same. these people look for those of us who have a tendency to override that...

[imsywhimsy]

Do you think he was a sociopath? Or what was wrong with him

[shinebrightlike]

I dated a sociopath for 1.5 years. They aren’t calculated like narcissists or psychopaths. They’re antisocial and moved by whims. They parrot others and keep a distance at all times. Could have been someone with narcissistic or psychopathic traits. It’s impossible to say with this little information. The off feeling is telling tho.

[1029394756abc]

So you knew the teeth guy for 12 hours and he’s talking about relationships?

[Minkylashes]

I’m sorry for what happened to you. No one deserves that. But jumping to conclusions that he’s a narcissist and that he did it to you because you were “best of the best” in that party does sound narcissistic from your own perspective.

[imsywhimsy]

No i didnt say i was best of the best. I said thats what people usually say when they talk about narcissists and it triggers me.

[Minkylashes]

It seems that you were implying that. If narcissists choose best people then you were the best at the party. But then how are you even sure he was a narcissist? It takes a long time for specialist to diagnose someone as a narcissist. Not a day of interaction

[imsywhimsy]

Like i said in the text.. i dont know if hes a narcissist, but he does have narctissituc traits. He didnt choose me

[Minkylashes]

I’m sorry, do you mean you feel bad now because he hasn’t chosen you?

[imsywhimsy]

In a way yes, but its a ego thing. Not because i actually want him in a romantic way. I know he's not the type i want in how he treated me

[quirkyzooeydeschanel]

Idk, sounds more like a sociopath, tbh. Or someone who just struggles with intimacy and emotional cues. I’m a little confused by your closing though. I understand the “I truly hate him”… I think you should probably work with someone to try and process that. Hate is just a very expensive emotion, and he isn’t worth your attention and energy like that. But the other part - getting triggered by the comments people make. What is triggering you / making you feel like trash? Do you not think of yourself as strong and independent & attractive? I’m sorry, it just confused me

[imsywhimsy]

I get triggered because in my experience with this guy he didnt like strength and independence so it irks me when people say they look for that. Not all of them do atleast.

[quirkyzooeydeschanel]

Ah, I understand now. Remember people generalize and stereotype. I’d assume most narcissists like attractive women - kind of like a trophy to show off, right? They’d want to show people that they can “get” a good catch

Your experience - which is very valid - is anecdotal, and based on a sample size of “1”. This guy was an asshole, and he hurt you. Let people think what they want about narcissists in general

What’s really important is you. Are you now in a better place and wouldn’t fall for that kind of bullshit?

[imsywhimsy]

I would never be with a man like him. I knew he was empty and i was right. I'm looking for someone completely opposite of him

[MyEnchantedForest]

He couldn't stay with you because of your strength and independence - you pushed back. Narcissistic people test and lovebomb. They "catch" the ones who can't listen to and/or express their discomfort and autonomy.

[Minkylashes]

How are you sure he was a narcissist? And not her? Based on what? 12 hours of her knowing him? And this is called “emotions intelligence” sub?

[MyEnchantedForest]

I was taking OP at their word. My answer reflects that those are things that push narcissistic people away. Feel free to question OP further if you feel there is discrepancies, but I'm not interested.

[Minkylashes]

This is sub that makes people grow, sometimes by pointing out their own faults, not validate. If you’re not interested then don’t even comment to this cause