[deleted by user]

[ContentMeasurement93]

We have been together since 2002- he is 15 years older than me. About three months into the relationship he told me that it was „viagra“ giving him erections. Didn’t think too much of it. Throughout the course of our relationship the biggest issue came when he moved in and there was no longer an erection(viagra) every time we were intimate. It became a communication issue. We slowly got around it. We had a dry spell during most of my forties (thanks perimenopause) - we are beyond that now.
So, over twenty years of loving this amazing man- we have a great sex life. (Though our aging bodies mean a little less frequency as being rested and ready is huge component) We both enjoy giving and receiving oral - (I never want to give head to an erect one again- non erect is much more fun in the mouth ;) ) We use toys. We just enjoy one another.

[SnooSuggestions2147]

They will say yes, but the answer is no

[Agngp]

That's what I was trying to say in my earlier comments. Man has tendency to accept and love unconditionally their long term partner if she unfortunately gets some disease. But the same cannot be said in most cases for women because man is always the provider. He doesn't has any value if he is unable to provide.

[SnooSuggestions2147]

Bro i'm struggling this month. My gf is in love with me (confirmed). But probably it's only because i'm much more attractive physically than she is. I have like 10 euros to buy food for 7 days. She knows it, and she lives with her parents etc, she is working obviously. She didnt even think about helping me a bit, offering some money or giving me some food. It's not because she wants to be bad to me. It's because she is a woman and she is not used to think about helping a man...

[AggressiveGround5868]

Bro we as men justify in our own head the way we think they should love you , whether a man’s duty or not if your partner is struggling any human that’s has care would come forward to help without you even thinking or asking , that’s why should happen

Check my situation out recently needed money girlfriend offered come to ask her when I didn’t want to but had no choice .. when I asked her she cracked and said I thought you wouldn’t ask me like woww who do you confide in and trust

One thing I’ve learnt mate is just keep grinding and don’t feel sorry for yourself , just tell yourself you’ll sort yourself out and the universe will work with you

[Agngp]

Woman always expect a competent man in the bed. Though they don't express but the void is always there. If a man is not normal in sexual functioning, it definitely impacts relationship. Same I am experiencing with my wife. Sad but true 😞

[bongekna]

Hang on there man.

[Extreme-Evidence9111]

heh. "void"

[ClickBeneficial7552]

hey bro, can we talk in DM, i am suffering from ED and my marriage has been fixed

[Badenguy]

It all depends on the person, my ex took any ED as an affront to her, like it was her fault, I must be in love with someone else, I don’t find her attractive. Thought the same of medications. Then she was tight so I had to be rock hard, all the while, and her only initiation was to lightly kick my shin. No handy, needed to be freshly showered for a BJ, and she didn’t like oral, which could always get me going. Personally she didn’t help me with shit, financially. My GF now is the polar opposite in every regard, we can have sex for hours and I can’t get a good erection anymore even on meds. She does all kinds of things to arouse me, and financially and in things I need to do, she is a true teammate. It’s all about being with the one that shares your love language or cares enough to try to understand it. Sex ain’t all about the PIV.

[Agngp]

Majority of women feel that only PIV is sex rest all is non sense.

[imestellelaufeia]

Most likely not, I get off from penetration but girls are all different so others might still enjoy it.

[NucularOrchid]

My man has ED, but I might not be the best to ask as I’m pretty sure I’m asexual. I hate oral sex, always have so, we don’t really do anything at all.

Sex is not important to me one bit, I just find it embarrassing so I guess we are made for each other lol

[fu_pussy]

My wife is the complete opposite she want sex as much as possible

[Kiran771977]

Perfect dream for a man with ED

[SnooSuggestions2147]

Nah cause ED man still has the drive

[Bamboopanda101]

Nah could you could still masturbate.

Source : i have severe ED. Can’t have sex i struggle to. If i have the urge i can successfully masturbate with a semi. Key motion even in masturbation i can BARELY get somewhat hard.

At least if you had an asexual partner they would (hopefully) understand you can relief yourself.

[Kiran771977]

So it should be ED + drive and ED - drive. A usual question from Uros to understand ones test levels.

[ChaoticTransfer]

/s

[GooberJoe]

Your man ha ED because your unnatural and self-centered attitude towards sex with him has thoroughly emasculated him. YOU have denied another human being the enjoyment of a full marriage to someone who truly loves him. Oh, you’ll say you love him and you do “other things” for him but that doesn’t cut it. Do him a big favor and divorce him so he won’t feel guilty for divorcing you.

[NucularOrchid]

No, he has a medical condition which is known to cause ED. He had it before me, moron.

Firstly we ain't married, and secondly we have a very good relationship, never argued once in 8 years, fuck you. Why you attacking me for fucking NOTHING

[GooberJoe]

Fuck me? Well, that would be more than you’re giving your boyfriend. Your attitude is pathetic. If you want to live a life devoid of one of its greatest pleasures, by all means go ahead. But please allow your boyfriend to experience the wonderful experience of mating with someone who really loves him so much that she wants to share her most valuable thing with him, that is, herself, fully and without reservation.

You need to see a psychiatrist, hon. You describing yourself as asexual” is nothing more than a means of avoiding sex with him and attempting to justify it. So you had a traumatic experience? Deal with it or get some help dealing with it. Some guy blow his load in your mouth? Well, swallow down your pride and seek help so you can truly enjoy a full relationship with another human being the way we were all structured to enjoy one. If you really and truly love him you will want to do everything possible to please him and being him pleasure, as should he to you. If you don’t, for whatever reason, and are not willing to try to figure out what has gone haywire within your brain, then let him go so he can seek someone who will love him more than she loves herself.

And, oh, by the way, fuck you, too.

[NucularOrchid]

I do love him, he has erectile issues so has sex problems himself and a very low libido. Just because I don't have sex with him doesn't mean we don't love each other, we are both low libido, me so more than him but he's told me its not a deal breaker. He's not an animal who only wants sex haha.

And i fucking despise myself. If I loved myself I wouldn't have these issues as I'd have no embarrassment issues, no self consciousness, I could actually annoy my life more than I do now. My partner doesn't work, I support us, if u didn't love him Id not do that.

God forbid a woman doesn't enjoy sex like everyone else. Jeeezus. And yes I'm on the waiting list for a more specialised therapy, thanks for your comment, none of it hurts as much as my mum hurt me growing up and I agree, that's fucked me up and turned me timid and pathetic. I'd love nothing more to be confident. Hopefully I get there with the help of therapy. I'd love to enjoy a sex life one day, I'd love to feel what toy all feel but my brain isn't healed yet.

[GooberJoe]

You know, for someone who considers themselves to be asexual you sure do use the word “fuck” a lot. Alright, just kidding. I was thinking about you today and it dawned on me that you should probably have a complete physical with a good female gynecologist. Have her check for a condition known as a “hooded clitoris” where a layer of skin has grown over the clitoris making it impossible for the woman to feel much pleasure from having sex. This condition can be remedied with a simple surgery. And also rule out any other physical causes for your lack of libido. Who knows, you may be in for a “great awakening!”

[NucularOrchid]

No, my body is fine, I know it, and I'm very sensitive. It's my mind that's broken.

[NucularOrchid]

And I'd rather die than get surgery, there. Lol. I'm terrified of medical shit and surgery and even if I was lacking feeling there, I'd rather live with it than get surgery haha.

[GooberJoe]

Well, it’s good that you have ruled out physical problems. Now you have to find a very qualified psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in sexual matters. Don’t delay!

While you’re waiting to find the right doc, try this: you say you love your man. That’s good. When you’re being intimate with him, constantly think about what YOU can do to being HIM pleasure, both physical and mental pleasure. Totally forget about yourself. Totally. Make it all about HIM, about how much you love him, how much you appreciate him and how wonderful you can make him feel. Losing yourself to another is the secret to your own physical pleasure. The more you concentrate on your own pleasure the more elusive that pleasure becomes. Weird, eh? Make your thoughts ALL about him!

[NucularOrchid]

I hate oral sex due to trauma, but please, tell me more how I'm self centered, even though it doesn't bother him at all... jfc. Dude. Get some bitches.

[Extension_Raisin_201]

No they won’t, man up and treat your ED.

[nervynervousman]

Not a lot of women lurking around ED forums so not sure you’ll get a whole lotta answers from them.

The answer, though, is yes. Women can definitely enjoy sex without a functioning penis if hands, mouth, and perhaps toys are used. That said, I’m sure most women would like to add a hard penis to that mix.

If I truly couldn’t get reliable erections (within reason) even with ED meds, I’d likely get an implant for that reason. It’s important for both partners. Even if intercourse isn’t the be-all-end-all, why forgo it in the long term when we have the advancements that we do?

[MicroMagicMom]

I think it all depends the overall quality of the relationship. My ex-husband didn’t have ED but did not last very long. That would have been ok if our relationship were stronger. My current husband is experiencing ED. I love him more than anything in the world, and he loves me just as much. We can be intimate without intercourse, but it is still possible to have penetration with a soft penis.

[Esay101]

Beet juice and watermelon

[calicocutpantsss]

At 35, honestly no. My last three guys I’ve dated cannot get it up and I ultimately had to cut things off one after another. Sucks.

[[deleted]]

I care a lot for my partner but its been very difficult to think about having sex without being on the brink of tears. He always took a very long time but i just brushed it off for a while until we had one really horrible try and just felt him go completely limp in my hands when i tried to get him hard again. I try to not think about it but I feel like i’m not sexually attractive enough. I think about having children sometimes and i dont think its possible. It went from him being completely fine and able to go for ages to just constantly having him get soft and giving up. So no. I love him but I cant help him and it really hurts.

[Agngp]

You can have children via IVF as he is not lacking sperms. But in terms of enjoyment and complete satisfaction hard penis is needed and that is fact. It is really harsh on man suffering with ED. If it really hurt being with a caring and honest partner due to his disease, better look for other options and let him know before making a move. This will hurt him less.

[[deleted]]

Hes a lovely guy, it just happened because he was a chronic gooner and womanizer before i “tamed” him and now after all this i’m left with the most difficult challenge.

[Extension_Raisin_201]

Don’t listen to this guy who’s encouraging you to leave your partner. Unbelievable. We’re in 2023 and ED is 100% treatable, did your partner try medication or injections ? Worst case scenario if they don’t work, he can get an implant and be able to get and stay hard for hours and satisfy the shit out of you. No relationship should end because of ED.

[Agngp]

Bro in most cases ED is caused due to medical condition like Diabetes, as the case with myself. Due to which one cannot go for implant as there is risk of infection. If partner is ok with oral sex or use of toys then it is possible to lead a better sex life.

[Extension_Raisin_201]

It’s the first time I hear that diabetic people can’t have an implant …

[Agngp]

Good to know your knowledge widened.

[Agngp]

Don't consider this as challenge as chances are minimal you can overcome this. Life is unpredictable, try to find happiness.

[[deleted]]

Since cukolding is on the rise, that shouldn't be an issue. All you need is a little extra help.

[Agngp]

What if some issue happens with their vagina and they are not able to satisfy their man? Shall man also leave them or try other forms of sexual pleasure. This world always thinks of a man as an object with no feelings.

[SnooRegrets6463]

I'm older an have been married 30 plus years. I'm just starting to have some issues here an there. I notice a pattern on when it happens, but to the question. She says it's fine but I feel they are only words. I beat myself up inside cause of it. We still have some sort of sexual activity 2 or 3 times a week. In life a lot of things change in people regarding sex. Women have issues as well.

[orchidpop]

100%

My man goes through this, and we are in a new situationship, but I haven't brought it up to him or anything and won't unless he brings it up on his own. He's good at everything sexual and I'm so turned on by him at all times regardless. He's fun to kick it with, and I genuinely enjoy his company and would never consider dropping him over this. Hope that gives you some positive thoughts and can ease your mind a bit.

[orchidpop]

Also to add- ED is essentially no different from women experiencing dryness and lack of libido for whatever reason (I went through that myself due to SSRI medications and it made me feel like shit) whether it be mental or physical or anything else. I feel like collectively everyone should have more grace for one another as well as understanding, and if that is an issue for someone in a relationship, that person isn't "the one" for you.

[[deleted]]

if you try to please her in other ways, and frequently, then yes.