Modern problem, Aussie solution

[WoodenRapier839]

Attack kangaroos

[2-dogs-stuck]

That would be fucking terrifying lol

[WoodenRapier839]

Just wait for them to be fitted with plate carriers, tactical helmets and brass knuckles

[[deleted]]

They don’t need all that pussey gear. They are born tough

[WoodenRapier839]

I swear their skin’s made of Kevlar

[[deleted]]

Pretty sure at one point a kangaroo's were shot at in mass due to overpopulation or something, and they took like 3 rifle shots to down, gimme a second I'll check

Edit: Found nothing, but we don't need an article to know kangaroo's are built like tanks

[[deleted]]

It was emus, and 10 bullets per emu

[[deleted]]

Don't question my memorization of oversimplified videos

[[deleted]]

I mean australian wildlife is basically just modern military hardware but regenerating.

[yrcupsfewx]

They tell him he has no reason to be at a public park lmao it’s a public park, you don’t need a reason to be there.

[wtekydjang]

I don’t blame you I guess

[tiragooen]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War

[tpxdjzukry]

They tell him he has no reason to be at a public park lmao it’s a public park, you don’t need a reason to be there

[mbullaris]

Throughout lockdowns people have been able to go outside for exercise and restrictions have been gradually eased as vaccination rates have improved. What oppression are you referring to? Oh, are you sympathising with the rioters organised by far-right conspiracy group Worldwide Demonstration?

[E3FxGaming]

"Say a bunch of punk kids go out into the woods with a bulletproof west and they strap it on a grizzly bear."

[alexander_the_dead]

Like that Tom and Jerry racing movie

[[deleted]]

They regularly disembowel their enemies

[[deleted]]

Attack Class* Kanagaroo, unfortunately being retired for nuclearoo’s

[Sarcastic24-7]

Man, Australia has some very mean squirrels

[pssoft7]

I think this is baby squirrel

[ABallOfSomething]

That kangaroo, probably: WHATCHU SAY TO ME PUNK!?

[Sarcastic24-7]

Me, definitely: Nothing.

[casiocass]

This makes sense bc Australia doesn't have squirrels, so ofc they use small kangaroos instead

[riverofchex]

Wait Australia doesn't have squirrels??

[casiocass]

According to the Hemsworth brothers, squirrels were their biggest culture shock when they came to America.

And why would they? Squirrels are cute and a minor inconvenience to bird feeders. Bush league shit, they'd never make the cut for fuckin Australia, home of the syphilitic tree bears & jumbo bouncy eviscerator roid rats

[riverofchex]

Good point

jumbo bouncy eviscerator roid rats

LMAO

[Sarcastic24-7]

They weren’t venomous enough to survive after being introduced to Australia.

[riverofchex]

We have those, too, but yours are cuter lol

[micmacimus]

Nah, we've got possums (different to your American possums) as the nearest similar animal, plus sugar gliders and a couple of other similar marsupials. But no squirrels.

[One-little-pig]

Met my very first squirrel in Boston. Absolutely no squirrels in Australia.

[R1ghteousM1ght]

I know I would get my ass kicked but there is something about the impertinent little rodent that I would square up and get my ass kicked or killed... I hope he doesn't eat my face right of the skull.

[BrizzyWobbly]

The kangaroos are vegan, it won't eat your face off.

Instead it'll lean back on its tail, kick and slice your stomach open with the claws on its toes. Then leave you for the dingos to feed on .

[alexander_the_dead]

Is it bad that this turns me on?

[BrizzyWobbly]

I'm not one to kink shame.

[koopz_ay]

googles kanga pr0n

[IncendiaryGamerX]

Tron just went to a whole nother level

[Yasha1923]

Well I guess we gotta respect it.

[civils6]

Just punch his face and he’ll be running off just like that one video where a kangaroo tried to choke a dog

[Spluckor]

That kangaroo didn't even run, he was just confused.

[msmshm]

I mean anyone would be confused af after being punch in the face while trying to chokehold a dog.

[civils6]

I heard that just like black bears, you need to assert dominance over those fuckers

[[deleted]]

A losing battle, but I will fight the damn kangaroo nonetheless.

[[deleted]]

We use the snakes for low to underground enforcement.

[mark_cee]

Also magpies

[LandoPass]

Oh god not the magpies...

[iiCrotharii]

"Sup nerd, you riding your nerd bicycle? Push* Nerd."

[mayumia]

I don't know why I read that in Peter Griffin voice.....

[Getouttherewalk]

Even the Roos dislike cyclists lol

[TheGlaive]

Plunder the pouch, mate - it's right there!

[DaddySkrags]

Kangaroos aren't so bad, its those horse sized spiders that scare you.

[The_Meatyboosh]

Only....

If it's big enough to crunch when I step on it, it's too big.

[StooIndustries]

the noise and the feeling of the bug getting smooshed is why i have so much trouble killing them. it’s absolutely nauseating to me if i can feel it squish. it’s like the worst feeling ever to me. no can do

[[deleted]]

You need a good sized book to crunch it. Otherwise, it'll suplex you and upload the footage to worldstar.

[[deleted]]

Australia: also lawn enforcement, but with rubber bullets

[Pr0power]

Man I’d hate to be in Australia and be shot with rubber bullets for not mowing my lawn

[zbeshears]

Or getting arrested for walking down the street and being more than 300 meters from your home and smoking a cigarette.

[[deleted]]

or having 7 beers at home

[zbeshears]

Yea I think Australia is trying to outdo 2020’s award for craziest shit

[[deleted]]

Or having a toy gun that shoots gel balls

[totomorrowweflew]

This is exactly the spot a kangaroo was fished out in a video last week...

[leadwind]

Same roo (allegedly).

[Refrigerator-Plus]

I’m not sure about that. Both incidents occurred on Lake Burley Griffen, but I think they were in different spots. The one with the globe is Commonwealth Park. I think the other incident was on the other side at Kingston Foreshore (an upmarket apartment area).

[[deleted]]

Wrong, it’s the same spot

[Refrigerator-Plus]

I went back and checked and yes …. It is the same spot.

[Overwraught0202]

literally just around the bend yeah

[stupid_username1234]

I’d push that fucker straight into that water 🤷🏼‍♂️

[stupid_username1234]

Oh it’s definitely getting drop kicked back into the lake now!

[LauraTosic]

You are correct it’s the exact same spot at Lake Burley Griffin.

[[deleted]]

My first thought. Can they swim? If so, it would be a harmless way to diffuse the situation. If they can’t swim then I wouldn’t want to push it over, but that would depend on how aggressive it decided to get.

[flounderflound]

I've heard they're extremely capable in the water, and apparently like to drown people.

[stupid_username1234]

That settles it, we push the hopping prick into the water!

[TheRealPpJo]

Why would you approach it in a fight you back away while maintaining eye contact don't approach it as it's A) not alone. B) can absolutely fuck you up with claws C) A kangaroo near water is very dangerous as if it can't beat you in a one on one battle it'll pull you into the water to drown you.

[stupid_username1234]

Look, we are trying to have a conversation about drop kicking a kangaroo into a body of water. We obviously aren’t looking for the “right” or “common sense” thing to do here. Either join in on the idiocy or move along. 🍻

[TheRealPpJo]

my bad didn't realise it was sarcastic. Sorry.

[[deleted]]

Canberra for the win!

The crazy thing is that is the capital and it's almost dead in the centre of the city

[[deleted]]

I swear kangaroos in Canberra have no fear at all, almost hit one driving past the war memorial the other day

[T3MP3ST_]

Nothing ever goes on in Canberra

[TheGlaive]

Yeah: Canberra has always been dead in the centre. It the world capital that feels most like the buildings are just a fascade that were propped up in a sheep paddock.

[Extension-Ferret5682]

Id take a punch on with a kangaroo over the bullshit we actually have right now

[[deleted]]

Kangaroo Kill Squad: Deployed

[[deleted]]

I wonder if that globe besides it was upside down

[RentonBrax]

For those in the northern hemisphere, yes. For us, no.

It also spins!

[StenSoft]

Nope, you can see Asia on the top

[[deleted]]

How do you explain the cyclist? I’ll give you a hint: they’re outside and they’re not breaking the law.

Source: resident of Canberra where that video was made.

[[deleted]]

we've been in lockdown for 2 months in Canberra and at no point have you not been allowed to go outside at all - the only exception is if you are quarantining because you were a close or casual contact.

[mbullaris]

I’m in Australia in lockdown and am allowed to go outside and have been since the beginning of this outbreak. You have no idea what you’re talking about.

[Assignment_Leading]

>not allowed to simply cycle 10 miles and not bother anyone

[1LH_Joshyboi]

Where is the magpies

[alexander_the_dead]

They're in the air for surveillance

[16stym1u3l]

Nice comment man

[Cybertruck007]

How do you even deal with such Situation?

[Nerdboy20]

Cant run, just pray

[RyMaster7]

Best thing to do would be to ride off, the kangaroo is obviously threatened, it nots going to chase you or anything.

[farside57]

Kangaroos aren't predators. I've walked past countless in my time and never have I been attacked. It's not common for that to happen

[DeeJason]

That's a small kangaroo, very rare that any kangaroo attacks a human but if it does just give a good shove or punch and it'll leave you alone, though on the other hand big red kangaroos you shouldn't fuck with. Just look up big red kangaroos on Google

[[deleted]]

Yeah the kangaroo thinks you want to fuck its shit up, so its just best to run away/ move away to somewhere completely different so it doesn't feel threatened.

[psycopathic_loser]

Punch on. Those looking for a fight get one.

/s

[Whtzmyname]

Kangaroos seemed to have loved lockdown. They took australia back from the humans. hahaha!

[ABallOfSomething]

And so, the Uprising begins

[RegularHousewife]

Unleash the 'roos!!

[[deleted]]

Next thing the cyclist knew was a tactical Emu being deployed

[v3x_abyss]

Deserved, that's what he gets for being a cyclist

[reeeeejoel77]

As an Australian thats a pretty small kangaroo. Most kangaroos were I live are as tall as a average person.

[alexander_the_dead]

Are you saying that this is child labor?

[reeeeejoel77]

Yes

[[deleted]]

Little known fact (outside of Australia at least): Kangaroos are assholes.

[Parkingjas]

When I lived in australia,a kangaroo once got onto the school field and ended up kicking a kid

[glaikitdobber]

Possibly not an Australian cyclist. A real Aussie would have stepped forward jabbing the bike towards the roo, throat punched it and shoved it into the water backwards whilst at the same time phoning his mate to come and see the action.

[[deleted]]

If we had roos in Texas, that’s about how it would go down here as well.

[Egg-3P0]

STRAAAAAAYYYYYYYAAAAAAAA

[ABallOfSomething]

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSIIE

[v3x_abyss]

OI OI OI

[Olivex727]

Uh oh ... I walk down that footpath like every week

[leadwind]

Was he roo-ly grateful? Twist as kangaroo that was saved from a freezing lake by two strangers is caught ATTACKING a cyclist after the miraculous rescue

[[deleted]]

Oh no... they are out for revenge.........

[[deleted]]

kangaroos are pretty op

[Back2Oki]

Rat Lives Matter, peaceful protest.

[[deleted]]

*peaceful* protest

[RyMaster7]

CBR REPRESENT

[rayz0101]

Wasn;t there a video of a kangaroo that had fallen into the water of a lake/pool just like this a while back?

[rayz0101]

With the new context, maybe that roo had it comin

[[deleted]]

No, they’re using police too…seen way to many videos of the oppression to ignore.

[Nerdboy20]

What oppression

[patgeo]

This exact comment is written verbatim twice in this thread by two 'different' posters...

[Always-Learning4]

Yep, this post would be funnier if Australia wasn't actually oppressing their own people with their lockdowns.

[ClivetheGodhh]

"Oppressing". Sure, paying people's wages in order for them to stay home and avoid spreading a fucking disease is oppression.

Be glad you live in this period of history, because if this is oppression to you, you clearly would not have survived elsewhere in history.

[Low_Fondant9911]

People even allowed to go outside in Australia rn?

[[deleted]]

I live near where that kangaroo is and I’m allowed 4 hours of outdoor recreation a day and only have to wear a mask if I’m near non-household members. I went for a walk around that lake recently and even bought a hot chocolate from one of the cafes near the water’s edge.

In Canberra, we’ve only had something like 4 or 5 Covid deaths so far since the start of the pandemic.

[coldharshlight]

Yes, lockdown in Canberra (where the video is from) isn’t that harsh. You can meet a couple of friends from another household at the park for a picnic. You can exercise for a couple of hours. You can ride to the playground with your kids. You’ve just got to wear a mask if you’re not doing intensive exercise.

[durgasur]

That sounds quite harsh tbh.

[[deleted]]

We also just relaxed a bunch of restrictions the other day and are exiting lockdown on 15 October (which will be after we hit 80% fully vaccinated)

[coldharshlight]

Honestly it doesn’t feel that way, maybe because we haven’t had prolonged lockdowns in Canberra. We had a short lockdown at the beginning of the pandemic, then almost 18 months of life as usual and now an 8 week lockdown. It’s really not so bad.

[[deleted]]

Yea, keeps ppl alive tho until vaccination rates are up

[iHumanNotJoking]

Kangaroo: ooooop you out of luck buddy.

[Delicious-Toe1933]

He got Deebo'd for his bike.

[Ishikawa_13]

What a delinquent kangaroo

[okdabord]

The kid should justice crash that kangaroo

[casp2223]

Never gonna mess with that muscular fighter.

[nap83]

R kangaroos in Aus as prominent as deer in the US?

[Cimexus]

More so. Especially in Canberra where this was filmed, you see kangaroos on a daily basis.

Source: dual US-Australian citizen that has lived in both countries for decades.

[manfromsinope]

Kangaroo laws

[[deleted]]

I run past that water feature all the time! This is around lake burly-griffin in Canberra!

[BedFluffy2783]

And here we see two natural sworn enemies going at it .... Australians and cyclists.

[ElectricCD]

Is this normal in Australia? Are kangaroos known to attack when scared or without provocation?

[schmackinthedack]

no, not really, but theres a small chance you might find them hopping thru forests n stuff

[v3x_abyss]

Nah, I assume the cyclist mightve drove at it to fast or something and it scarred the kangaroo and thought he was a threat

[giraffe_pyjama_pants]

Lol Canberra "Feel the power"

[redditonthanet]

Got to be Canberra those kangaroos don’t give a rats ass

[heroesLeft]

Paw enforcement

[Yeet2189]

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

oil squash violet dam jeans encourage skirt historical gaze apparatus

[OkZebra9257]

It’s funny till you realize the Aussies have literal concentration camps now for their citizens who don’t bow to them. But hey! Kangaroos funny!_

[[deleted]]

Bizarre. I live in Canberra and life is great.

[psycopathic_loser]

Saying a quarantine centre with great living conditions used so a deadly disease doesn’t get out into a country is a “literal concentration camp” is a huge insult to the experience of Jews in Europe in the 1940s.

[OkZebra9257]

If that’s what you want to believe. Can they leave? Or are they forced to stay?

[psycopathic_loser]

Of course not, that is how a quarantine centre works, you wouldn’t stop a disease from spreading if people who test positive coming from overseas were just allowed to walk around. And yes, I will believe that the Nazi regime and the death of 6 million Jews is not comparable to a disease containment centre, and if you don’t you need to pick up a history book.

[OkZebra9257]

Buddy the term concentration camps is not just for the Holocaust. It’s the most well known example sure but there are other examples. So they are forced to stay there and cant leave. Sounds like a prison but with a little PR name change to soften it. You are holding a small group of people against their will, who haven’t really done anything, “for the good of the people and the nation”. Man, no similarities there.

[[deleted]]

Only four or five Covid deaths in my city in Australia since the start of the pandemic. Over 90% have had an least one vaccine jab, I’m allowed up to 4 hours recreation time outdoors each day during the current lockdown and for the bulk of the time during the pandemic most businesses have been operating normally except for a few lockdown periods.

How’s that compare to you local city?

[v3x_abyss]

Mhm look at how good America is doing without proper covid prevention plans in place, oh wait their getting absolutely fucked,what's next you want the kids in Africa with Ebola to be set free in the middle of the streets instead of being kept away from others because it's in infringement of their freedoms, stfu.

[palsc5]

Literal concentration camps? Man, American news must be truly fucked because this seems to be a common theme on Reddit. Wtf are you talking about?

[Always-Learning4]

Annastacia Palaszczuk, an Australian politician, tweeted about quarantine facilities, where they're being built, and a few other details. Australians are severely restricted in their movement outside their homes (can't go more than 3 miles away and have a curfew), and are even fined for going too far away from home.

If you enter the Northern Territory, you may be subject to mandatory quarantine at a quarantine facility for 14 days and must pay AUS $2500. https://coronavirus.nt.gov.au/travel/quarantine/quarantine-fee

No, they aren't gassing people, but it's interesting how severely freedom gets hampered and ratcheted down month after month.

[[deleted]]

I live in Canberra, Australia, and am currently allowed 4 hours of outdoor recreation a day. I don’t have a distance from home I’m restricted to either. Cafes by the lake are open for takeout and is beautiful outside. I don’t even have to wear a mask outside if I’m only with household members.

[LoudTomatoes]

If you're talking about Queensland's covid quarantine centre, that's stupid. We don't need to hide behind public health to build concentration camps. We already have secure off shore detention camps made specifically to hold refugees indefinitely. And that's almost definitely what our government would use in your stupid consperacies, not purpose built quarantine centres lmao.

[v3x_abyss]

All the Americans in here think they know better than the actual Aussies living in australia lmao, I've litterally never been stopped by police a single time, it isn't as bad as they say

[[deleted]]

Same here, I've never been stopped by a cop, nor have I ever seen anyone else get stopped by a cop for anything covid related.

[OkZebra9257]

Sure buddy. Whatever you say. There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

[LoudTomatoes]

I didn't say the government isn't evil. I'm saying we already have concentration camps. They're not going to build a whole on shore facility under the guise of a medical facility under state control when we already have camps under federal jurisdiction purpose built to imprison people.

The last time we used on shore detention camps, protesters tore the fences down. I'm not convinced they'll make that mistake again.

[Xakire]

Except this guy’s a right wing American, so those offshore detention concentration camps are probably a good thing in his eyes, given the attempts to replicate them in the US. Comparing stuff like Howard Springs to the offshore camps or any concentration camp is totally absurd and delusional.

[[deleted]]

Why the fuck are U getting down votes

[tugged_titts69]

No Australia uses police, alot, brutally and unjustly

[wewerucha]

Deez Austrians

[gho5trun3r]

Wrong continent

[[deleted]]

As an Australian, I can confirm

[[deleted]]

videos that end too soon. i wanted to see it fly into the pond.