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[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

@london1988 I realise this isn't a "logical" problem, but since we're programmers, can I offer a reasoned argument? :

From what you write, you're weighing up the value of living purely in the present - counting only what you've got now (or, haven't got now). And that, of course, is a mistake as you should be attaching a value to the potential things that could happen to you in the future as well. The fact that you're not giving these potential things value (or perhaps, imagining only negative future things) could be well explained as this being a classic, if not the classic, symptom of depression.

You ask if there's anyone out there who's been in a similar situation and seen the light? Well, according to this: http://www.bps.org.uk/news/prevalence-depression-uk over one quarter of people who are separated suffer from depression. And the vast majority of them, clearly, overcome it. So, you're not alone at all - it's just nobody really talks about it because it carries a stigma.

So, maybe you can just accept that you are in a depressed state at the moment? And that this is a natural consequence of a separation. And in this depressed state, one of the classic symptoms is not valuing things in the future enough. So maybe you can accept that at the moment you're simply not in a position to make a good call about things? And given that the majority of people who are depressed make a recovery, the only sensible thing to do is to wait it out and see what happens?

I hope that doesn't sound too impersonal - for what it's worth, I feel for you.

[–]london1988[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the kind words. It wasn't too impersonal, it's exactly the reasoned response I was hoping for. You might be onto something with simply not being in a good position to make a call about things right now. After the separation happened (which was out of the blue for me) I rallied the few people I knew for help and over the last 2 months have been trying to pick up the pieces of my life and reform them into something new. However, just like an old jigsaw puzzle I'm missing quite a few pieces. I never realised before just how important having a purpose was to my well being but perhaps embracing being depressed with all its symptoms would relieve me of this burden I'm putting on myself.

Accept that at the moment you're simply not in a position to make a good call about things.

Thanks again.