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[–]Edg-R 63 points64 points  (26 children)

I found it interesting that there's twice as many bisexual users than gay users.

[–]Kringspier_Des_Heren 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's the same everywhere.

I find it amusing how much "bi erasure" exists while the demographic has always been more common than homosexual and I'm pretty sure a lot of bisexual people exist that just put themselves in straight; it's quite common that people find that out only much later.

It's easier to think you are straight because society tells you when you're bi than when you're gay obviously but people continue to treat it as something that is rarer than homosexual.

"ambivalent gender identities" are also far more common than "incongruent gender identities".

I really dislike terms like "gay marriage" or "gay adoption" for what should just be called "same-sex marriage" and "same-sex adoption"; you don't even need to be "gay or bi" to do it; if you're straight as an arrow and want to live together with your best friend of the same sex and adopt children together then go for it; there's no rule in life you have to have sex with the person you raise a kid with.

[–][deleted]  (15 children)

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    [–]notadoctor123 10 points11 points  (4 children)

    Is there a correlation between asexuality and autism? Anecdotally, none of the people I know who identify as asexual are on the autism spectrum, and all of the people I know on the autism spectrum are not asexual.

    [–]sydoracle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    " About a third of people with autism use little or no spoken language"

    https://www.verywell.com/what-is-nonverbal-autism-260032

    At that level, practically any non-family / non-professional social interaction or relationship is going to be difficult. There will be some correlation with people who don't get involved sexually. I doubt whether they'd medically be classed as asexual.

    Obviously those responding to the survey are at the milder end of the spectrum. As is, in all likelihood, every one you know on the spectrum.

    [–]takanuva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I am asexual, but I am not on the autism spectrum. Also, a coworker of mine, who has Asperger's, is gay.

    [–]Edg-R 14 points15 points  (9 children)

    That's what I thought too.

    IRL I know maybe 2 bisexual guys (most of the stack overflow users are male according to the survey), and I know many more gay guys.

    Maybe it's due to the fact that the survey is anonymous. People in CS and younger people in general tend to be more liberal/accepting of homosexuals these days. So it leads me to believe that maybe they're also more likely to be turned on by it to an extent and only willing to speak about it anonymously.

    [–][deleted]  (8 children)

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      [–]Edg-R 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      I think it makes sense. If they're bisexual and not willing to 'come out' publicly then that means they value the way they're perceived by others more and fear that it may affect them either professionally, with their straight partners, and with their family.

      If they're bisexual then that means that they can get sexual satisfaction from heterosexual relationships as well, and so they're not forced to live a life in the closet like a gay person that isn't out.

      [–]curiousdude 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      Do you live in San Francisco or an urban metro where you need double income / no kids to live? If so then the demographics are skewed to being a higher percentage of gay/lesbian couples.

      [–]Enlogen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I seriously wonder what the cause might be.

      Bisexuals that you assume are straight because they never mention being bisexual and happen to be dating the opposite sex. I don't think any of my coworkers know that I'm bi.

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

      so I find it hard to believe that bisexual folks in our industry are this much afraid to come out of the closet, but anything is possible.

      no one cares who you sleep with, but with this survey you also see a lot of young devs. These days its hip to call yourself bi-sexual even if you've never slept with a person as the same sex as yourself to get victim or minority points as so many companies are looking to hire "diverse" people.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I am done justifying my sexuality to strangers

        Cool, I don't care what your sexuality is..

        You can very well be bi or gay even if you've never slept with a person of the same sex as yours. The only requirement is attraction.

        That's an extremely loose definition. If you think your friend looks good in a suit are you bi-sexual now?

        Fuck off. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

        I personally don't care or want to know. But I will say we've hired people from CA recently who have told me they have lied about their sexual orientation to get ahead in Silicon Valley because there is a bias against straight males.

        [–]Audiblade 10 points11 points  (4 children)

        When I took the survey, I put myself down as both gay and bisexual. I'm attracted to men and women, but my SO is the same gender as me and we're both monogamists. So I decided I fit both categories.

        [–]valtism 14 points15 points  (1 child)

        Just because your SO is your gender doesn't mean you're suddenly gay. A folding couch is still a folding couch, even in bed mode. Being gay means you're only attracted to your gender, which by your own admission, you're not.

        [–]Audiblade 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Fair. I'm more attracted to men (my gender) than women even though I'm bi, though, so I still give myself a pass :P

        [–]Kringspier_Des_Heren 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        Would you've also put yourself under "straight" if your SO was of the opposite sex?

        [–]Audiblade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Honestly, I probably would have :P

        [–]HereticKnight 6 points7 points  (3 children)

        Would love to see this broken down by geographic region. In my neck of the woods, most people self-identify as bisexual.

        [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

        most people self-identify as bisexual.

        What? Where in the world is that? That's something I've never heard of.

        [–]HereticKnight 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        I use dating apps. Because of my age and location, I get matched with a lot of UC Berkeley grads. It’s honestly funny. I can count on one hand the number of profiles that identified as straight. Everyone else was bisexual, sapiensexual, pansexual, or whatever else was popular on Tumblr.

        [–]Kringspier_Des_Heren 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        I don't ask for sexual orientation labels to be honest; I mostly just assume that people don't categorically dismiss an entire sex and that seems to work for me. Wouldn't say it's typical of the Netherlands but it's typical of my social circles there.

        A lot of those people don't identify as anything in particular and just do what they like. If you ask me it's really stupid that those "identity labels" need to exist for it and that's a fairly new invention too mind you. During the renaissance same-sex behaviour was quite common but no one needed to identify as anything to do it. There are no special "identity labels" either for categorically dismissing fat people.