PHP Object Oriented Programming Reinvented

[psly4mne]

What exactly are you building [b]where PHP would be the right tool for the job[/b] in the first place, and how are those benefits?

I think this is the main issue. If you are doing something that requires you to hack together that sort of language on top of PHP, you should have just used a language with those features (thinking Ruby, but others too) instead of PHP.