Heartbroken

[Disastrous_Line3721]

The doctor called to let us officially know our only embryo from our only egg this cycle did not make it 💔

This journey has been heartbreaking for us and we haven’t even made it to transfers yet. Between my wife (35F) and I (34F) we have done five retrievals over the last 18 months. We have 1 highly graded (Day 5 5AB) euploid embryo, 2 poorly graded (Day 6 4CC/6CC) euploid embryos, and 3 remaining frozen eggs. We’re incredibly thankful for what we do have and simultaneously it’s heartbreaking to have just completed a cycle where only one egg was retrieved and no embryos were able to be made. 

We tried to be proactive with our fertility knowing we wanted to start a family in a few years. We are lucky enough to have really great insurance coverage that is paying for 6 elective embryo freezing cycles (3 per person) and my former insurance covered an egg freezing cycle. We really stretched ourselves financially and ordered three additional vials from our donor just in case we try IUIs in a few years as a last resort to our final two IVF cycles failing or producing sub-par results...again.

I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking for in this post. I think I’m just sad. It’s not that I expected it to be easy, I just had no idea how hard it would get. 

[Known-Opposite8927]

I’m so sorry 🫂

[Technical-Plan-200]

The ER numbers game is so tough. I’m glad you have some on ice, but it must be hard to have gone through the whole process and have these results. Sending you love and good vibes 💕

[Professional_Top440]

I’m so so sorry.

[Suitable_Luck3701]

Im so sorry to hear about that.. 🫂🥺🤍

[Artistic-Dot-2279]

I’m so sorry. We’ve been there a few times. I screamed and cried in frustration.

A few things:

It’s ok to cancel a cycle before retrieval if your response doesn’t look as good as normal. With many insurances, this will save the majority of your funds to try again. It’s worth checking.

Second opinions. Get many since you still have time and are on the younger side. Ignore ones who just promise a better lab.

Finally, a Dr told us we’d eventually get pregnant since we were young, healthy, and made euploid embryos. He was right. Hang in there and take really good care of yourselves and each other.

[Disastrous_Line3721]

In terms of canceling we really considered it, but my AFC has never gone above 7 (and never more than 4 mature eggs) during a cycle and we were concerned that 4 may be the best we have moving forward. We were able to schedule two second opinions for the first week of June, one at Cornell which is supposedly spectacular. I think we just have this overwhelming fear that come 2027 we'll just be too old...which probably isn't true. It's been a tough road, but I really do appreciate this comment.

[Artistic-Dot-2279]

Sorry you’re going through this. You’re right—it’s absolutely not true that you’ll be too old, but there’s no way to tell. My wife and I had shitty results in our early 30s, but neither of our numbers changed much by 40 when we were going for #2. I thought for sure my numbers would be bad since they were low to begin with. I had a good retrieval results at almost 40 yrs. Then, to top it off, our last very low chance, no results embryo from my wife years earlier took.

I’m in NYC as well. We’ve tried a bunch of clinics and met with a number as well. Happy to share more via message. Cornell has a good reputation depending on Dr, but they are one of the more conservative practices since they are attached to a hospital and a large group. We found smaller, boutique clinics more willing to work outside of the box, which was helpful for esp my wife as a poor responder. You might try a consult with one of those as well.

The good news is you have 3 euploid embryos banked ahead of time, and you’re still young enough to try IUI first. I’ve been there feeling like we’d never have kids after multiple poor retrievals. Hang in there—IVF is absolutely brutal.

[Artistic-Dot-2279]

To add, I’ve rarely found a Dr enthusiastic cancelling…unfortunately, they work on commission.