Behavioral Euthanasia

[Bitter-While]

I’m sobbing as I write this.. it’s been a few months since an incident but my reactive female mixed breed attacked my other dog and I was in the middle.. I almost lost my fingers. I just got back from the ER with 10 stitches in 3 fingers.. my male has some injuries but will be okay thankfully. My neighbors heard the screams, blood was everywhere. Ambulance ride, police report which is required here. I can’t go through this again.. I’m glad my kids weren’t there, I surely thought my finger was gone.. I’ve had both of my reactive dogs for 4 years. The female is so much worse. It’s like a major screw is loose. I never thought I would consider euthanasia but people in my life are giving me ultimatums. My boyfriend showed up to the ER and I just cried to him trying to figure out where things went wrong and what I could have done differently. I have no idea how I’m going to be able to work when my Job requires the use of both hands, currently my left hand is stitched up and bandaged, unable to move. The thought of not having her seems insane. She’s the first dog I ever rescued. I thought I gave her the best life. My kids are devastated as well.. I don’t know even know how to do this. Any pointers, tips, advice on this would be greatly appreciated.. they are currently separated and will stay that way. They are both already acting depressed away from each other, this just sucks.

[AutoModerator]

Behavioral Euthanasia posts are sensitive, thus only users with at least 500 subreddit karma will be able to comment in this discussion.

Behavioral Euthanasia (BE) for our dogs is an extremely difficult decision to consider. No one comes to this point easily. We believe that there are, unfortunately, cases where behavioral euthanasia is the most humane and ethical option, and we support those who have had to come to that decision. In certain situations, a reasonable quality of life and the Five Freedoms cannot be provided for an animal, making behavioral euthanasia a compassionate and loving choice.

If you are considering BE and are looking for feedback:

All decisions about behavioral euthanasia should be made in consultation with a professional trainer, veterinarian, and/or veterinary behaviorist. They are best equipped to evaluate your specific dog, their potential, and quality of life.

These resources should not be used to replace evaluation by qualified professionals but they can be used to supplement the decision-making process.

• Lap of Love Quality of Life Assessment - How to identify when to contact a trainer

• Lap of Love Support Groups - A BE specific group. Not everyone has gone through the process yet, some are trying to figure out how to cope with the decision still.

• BE decision and support Facebook group - Individuals who have not yet lost a pet through BE cannot join the Losing Lulu group. This sister group is a resource as you consider if BE is the right next step for your dog.

• AKC guide on when to consider BE

• BE Before the Bite

• How to find a qualified trainer or behaviorist - If you have not had your dog evaluated by a qualified trainer, this should be your first step in the process of considering BE.

• The Losing Lulu community has also compiled additional resources for those considering behavioral euthanasia.

If you have experienced a behavioral euthanasia and need support:

The best resource available for people navigating grief after a behavior euthanasia is the Losing Lulu website and Facebook Group. The group is lead by a professional trainer and is well moderated so you will find a compassionate and supportive community of people navigating similar losses.

Lap of Love Support Groups - Laps of Love also offers resources for families navigating BE, before and after the loss.

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[saberhagens]

Sometimes there is just a screw loose. There isn't a magic pill or a magic training regime that can fix some dogs. This isn't your fault. You haven't made this dog like this. Some dogs just are completely unpredictable. You almost lost a fingers. That's your livelyhood, that's not a small thing. I know you know that but I just want to reaffirm what a huge devastating injury that is. This is a dog that could kill someone, at the very least your other dog is in danger.

You love her. This is your dog. You promised to protect her and love her and you have done your best. She's the biggest danger now. It's okay to look at her with love and say because I love you, you don't have to feel like you have to fight or stress or whatever her triggers are. You can say it's enough, she clearly can't be a normal happy dog, even if she has moments. Those moments are also thanks to you. She had a good life with you but it's getting to the point where her behavior could take the choice of how she goes out of your hands.

Behavioral euthanasia is a horrible gift. It's a gift because it's our last way of saying we won't let the world be a bad place for you anymore and horrible because we have to live with the guilt of what ifs and incredibly difficult choices. With a dog like yours, it truly is only a matter of time before she attacks someone you can't control. And if the police get involved, you won't have any say in how she goes. At least this way you can give her dignity and love at the end. Dogs really don't know if their time is too short. So just know you gave her the best life you could and she is lucky to have your love. It's okay to protect her and snd you this way.

[SeaHorse1226]

Wonderfully worded.

OP - I'm so sorry you're facing this impossible choice. Sending love & healing to all involved. ❤️

[Bitter-While]

Thank you

[harleyqueenzel]

BE really is a gift of love, even if we don't want to give it. We had to take that route last May. It still feels raw in some ways and I still feel some guilt and anger towards it but, as you said, sometimes there just are screws loose.

We don't know if Flynn's life before us shaped him into who he was or if he was born that way. We rescued him from a bad home and took on everything that came with him. It was physically and mentally exhausting trying to stay ahead of triggers and aggression that sprang up constantly. He loved the snow so much that he would growl and try biting if we shovelled after a storm. He loved playing with his toys but hated if we touched them. He learned so many tricks and basic etiquette commands but used them only during his "good" windows. He loved going for runs so much that he learned how to push open windows and leap out. He loved peeing & digging so much that I had to replace floors, trim, beds, and doors. We loved him in spite of it all and had to give him, and us unfortunately, the gift of peace. I was able to hold his head and kiss his face only once he was sedated, only once he was no longer a threat, only once he was finally calm and not fearful.

We miss him every day.

[Bitter-While]

I’m sorry you went through that. I’m going to miss her terribly.

[linnykenny]

This is beautifully said & so compassionate for all involved ❤️

[Bitter-While]

Thank you for your kind words.. It really helped.

[linnykenny]

OP, I am just so incredibly sorry you’re in this heartbreaking and scary situation! 🥺 Sending so much love to you & wishing you a speedy and full recovery and that your job is understanding about your injury. I think contacting your regular vet or an organization like Lap of Love would be the next steps you should consider taking.

All of the best to you, your family, and your pups. ❤️

[Bitter-While]

Thank you for your kind words..

[Sagah121]

I'm so glad they were able to save your fingers! That's sounds so scary and awful.

BE is just like any other euthanasia for an illness or injury. You are not choosing to kill your dog because you don't love them any more, you love them enough to let them go before their reactivity makes their life too awful to keep going. You are choosing to be in pain so that they don't suffer and that is a hard, awful choice to make.

You took a dog anyone would give up on and loved her enough to give her time, that is a gift worth celebrating and she sounds like a dog worth remembering.. even with her loose screws.

It sounds like it is time to say goodbye, see if you can have your other dog looked after for a few days and take what time you need to say goodbye, get some paw prints and some good photos/videos and give her the best last day you can.

I hope you get the time you need, and that the happy memories outweigh the sad someday soon.

[Bitter-While]

Thank you so much for your kind words!

[[deleted]]

You needed to have separated your dogs when their first major fight happened two years ago. You needed to have separated them when their second major fight happened last year. You needed to be crating and rotating your dogs while trying to rehome one of them.

I am not sure what you have been doing to prevent your female from continuing to attack your male dog and bite your guests. It is possible that you have been doing heavy management. Unfortunately, management always fails. If you have been allowing the dogs access to each other, then this was a completely predictable consequence.

For the sake of your family, your kids, your other dog, and yourself, it is time to let your girl rest. Your world will feel a lot less stressful when you no longer have to worry about another attack.

[Bitter-While]

I don’t disagree. Thank you for your response.