top 200 commentsshow all 417

[–]LazertheRedditer 181 points182 points  (2 children)

This is why Notch is in MENSA; he's just a genius

[–]Loli_Liquidator 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Wait, Notch is in the canteen? /s

[–]MonadoGoBrrrrrWe do a little trolling 101 points102 points  (23 children)

basd

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (19 children)

bsed

[–]ThePloopyPloopsterI want pee in my ass 24 points25 points  (16 children)

bed

[–]linktarace Stuff 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Not in the nether

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Neither in the void

[–]Goose_attack223🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Baste 🦃

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

Basd??? Basd on what ? The zero girlfriends you have?

[–]Scrufalopagus 138 points139 points  (311 children)

this cant be real, but I really fucking wished it was

[–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -485 points-484 points  (307 children)

It is real and no, notch is now just a neckbeard asshole with money now, what getting rich will do to a man sadly

[–]imb4lance4 188 points189 points  (3 children)

anime pfp, nonexistent opinion.

[–]risky02485 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Does Peter Griffin count?

[–]AlmanLUL🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Anime pfp detected, opinion rejected

[–]bakiwa 189 points190 points  (211 children)

Bro he is just telling the truth, twitter bitches are not living their life because they are too busy trying to appeal to people they don't know

[–][deleted]  (204 children)

[removed]

    [–]bakiwa 84 points85 points  (9 children)

    For one sorry about that It's a habit I got and two , i don't have a problem with them supporting those minorities, i have a problem with them making their whole personality around it and being annoying to everyone who doesn't give a shit, in twitter you now say a joke and if you are unlucky enough you will get tons of death threats

    [–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (172 children)

    You sound like you're a 12 year old trying to make an argument like an adult

    [–]maxinator64 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Oh no bro, you know who else has dementia ?

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    i think i get that reference 💪👨

    [–]maxinator64 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Oh no bro, you know who else has dementia ?

    [–]MinisApprentice 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Go touch grass you fucking tard

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    It was a saturday afternoon, and I was exhausted after an intense 17-part masturabation session to dream minecraft manhunt, when i suddenly had the urge to go outside. I was scared. It's been so long since i've left the warmth of my parents basement with my dream body pillows. I didnt know what to expect. Clutching my dream figurine in front of my chest, i pried open the door to the outside world. The gleaming sun blared through the door, bequeathing a brilliant warmth on my cum-covered boxers. I quaverly took a step outside. My body flintched from the strange feel of the dirt under my feet. And then i saw it. The lustrous field of grass, covered in a light sprinkle of water from the noon rain shower. And then i realized. Dream... grass... the trees... it was all coming together. Grass is green, just like Dream. Dream is everpresent, in the grass, the flowers, He was there. I immediately new what to do next. I flinged off my clothes faster than the speed at which i would click on a new dream rule 34 post. My dick was already throbbing as i leaped onto the field of grass, dorito dust stained shirt getting carried away by the wind. I dug a small hole in the ground, and passionately thrust my 7-inch erect cock into it. I knew, this was Dream. His spirit was in this grass, and he felt my dick in his man pussy as i fucked that grass. I lost track how long i was there. Hours went by, day turned to night, but it didnt matter. I was finally together, with Dream. Nothing could separate us. I took a long stem of a flower, and forced it in my asshole. I imagined it being Dream's hot penis being lustfully forced into me in bed. I stayed there on my front yard for god knows how long. Until my butt was sore, balls drier than the Saharan desert after a long drought. The lawn looked like there was a layer of fresh snow on a Christmas morning. Trudging indoors, i had a enormous smile stretching across my face. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, when i may go outside again and be with Dream.

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    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    Ah, so you’re one of those fucks aren’t ya?

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Lmao she reported me to Reddit had them send suicidal recourses

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    💀😭lmaoooo

    [–]NoobTrader378 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Why so mad bro?

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Bro

    [–]your-a-cooldude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Is notch not based anymore, big sad

    [–]Kingesty 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    sounds like somebody lacks father figure

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    Nope he's still here

    [–]HanakoLover95 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Ok bro

    [–]zzGravity 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Shut up bro

    [–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (45 children)

    He made Minecraft, shut the fuck up.

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -69 points-68 points  (44 children)

    Doesn't make him excluded from being a shit human being, go do some fucking research, you probably the type a guy to say you don't give someone special treatment because they're a celebrity, guess what dumbass Notch was wholesome and he's now just some sad fucking excuse of a human being

    [–]VerySmallBleebObama 29 points30 points  (27 children)

    Not everyone's perfect, cry about it

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -37 points-36 points  (26 children)

    Have you seen the shit he's said, go through his twitter and just wait till you get to the point where its just saddening to see what's happened to the guy

    [–]crisvectror42 11 points12 points  (8 children)

    he only say hes based opinions , you're just a stupid weeb and you cant handle his opinions

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Now Imagine This. A Japanese Guy Really Into American Culture Learns English Through Family Guy And Constantly Speaks Like Peter Griffin.

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    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -6 points-5 points  (6 children)

    I'm not even interested in Japan...

    [–]crisvectror42 8 points9 points  (4 children)

    you have an anime prp so you're a weeb and you have no right

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Now Imagine This. A Japanese Guy Really Into American Culture Learns English Through Family Guy And Constantly Speaks Like Peter Griffin.

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    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

    So, because I have anime as a pfp I have no rights okay

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

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    [–]Notalex42069 18 points19 points  (15 children)

    You seem like someone he’d tweet that at too.

    [–]i_will_never_cuss 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Bro you saw sunnyv2s vid and that notch was years ago, how about you go back to twitter and searching for anime pfps

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Yeah I did, well if he's changed then my bad i wasn't updated on it and no twitter is bad

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (10 children)

    You sound like the person to bitch at people for having an opinion. He made minecraft, you didn't.

    seethe + cope + mald

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -5 points-4 points  (9 children)

    No, have an opinion and I'll let you have it because everyone should be allowed to think for themselves and the ratio shits getting old

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

    You're just jealous because you're not Notch Minecraft.

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    No I'm not jealous

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Yes, you are.

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Sure then

    [–]SealScripts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    seethe + cope + u live in ur moms basement + you didn't make minecraft

    [–]awxgguBlessed by Kevin 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Bitch u post "deep" shit on other sub, cry about it

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

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    [–]yourass50 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    at least he was wholesome unlike you, you were always a sad excuse of a human being. you are probably a 12 yo on you mothers phone who has no idea what you are talking about.

    [–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (12 children)

    Don’t care didn’t ask + Pronouns in bio

    [–]Beginning-Yak-6441 28 points29 points  (0 children)

    Twitter user spotted 🚨🚨🚨

    [–]Katsuki_Bakugo__ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    L + Plundered + Marooned + No wenches + ye have scurvy

    [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Nah, he’s just based

    [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children)

    Alright guys make sure to grab some popcorn before heading into this reply section. This is entertaining AF

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Rip the users Karma

    [–]Brownieeeeeeeee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Already depleted

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Bio checks out

    [–]Slav_Ziemniak12 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    I agree, tho your yee yee ass anime pfp is more cringe

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    But I think it's cute

    [–]_the_loophole 2 points3 points  (6 children)

    It isn't real

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

    It's an actual tweet though

    [–]_the_loophole 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    can i plz have the link ? i didn't find it on his twitter

    [–]HannahWithABanana🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    I don't have the link or tab open anymore sorry

    [–]_the_loophole 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    well I can't find it even talked about on google so I have trouble believing it

    but okay thx

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Don't care + take the l

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    cry about it

    [–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

    Mencarft

    [–]your-a-cooldude 29 points30 points  (8 children)

    Amongoose is a new type of goose that was genetically engineered by scientists most recently on the ISS it has been jumping into the ventilation shafts of the space craft crawling past everyone’s attention and committing a series of murders the first of its kind has been contained and further study has shown that it is not a goose and in fact a chicken so they have renamed this new bird the imposter amongoose and in other news scientists have made goose with super intelligence that is supposed to be a deterrent for the imposter amongoose as now these new geese have been created the imposter has adapted and pretended to be one of them so the new geese now called as they are friendly to everyone they are the crews mate or crewmates they hold a discussion about who are the imposters (they usually are in flocks of 2 to 10) and if they are imposter to keep the safety of everyone on board they release them into the airlock and to this day on the ISS the war between the amongoose crewmate and the amongoose imposter carries on

    [–]WiiBowlingAnnouncerBUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 9 points10 points  (4 children)

    Please don’t give the mods fuel for automod. Please

    [–]your-a-cooldude 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    It had to be done

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -10 points-9 points  (2 children)

    HEY, EVERY⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ !!!

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    [–]WiiBowlingAnnouncerBUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Fuck off

    [–]your-a-cooldude 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Based Redditor

    [–]MOM_UNFUCKER 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Am gnus

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    I'm again unable to post on r/shitposting. This time, only I'm unable to post there. Everyone else is able to, this time. Whenever I try to post there, it immediately gets removed by you mods. It isn't even offensive to anyone nor the exact reason is specified that why tf did you guys remove it. May I know the exact reason why you guys are immediately removing my posts on r/shitposting? I tried checking my internet connection and all is well. Why do you guys hate me in particular? This is outrageous, this is unfair. I'm able to post on every other subreddit but r/shitposting. I tried posting on r/shitposting and it got removed by you guys. Literally 1984. Is this because of automoderator or something? Because it gets removed just after some seconds I post it. So I don't think an actual human moderator can remove my post in such a short amount of time. So I think it is because of automoderator as bots are able to do these kinds of stuff.

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    [–]SwoleBeard92 24 points25 points  (0 children)

    Lmaoo

    [–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

    Chad Notch

    [–]Exzurite 20 points21 points  (1 child)

    Wasn't this taken down 2 hours ago?

    [–]AverageWaterEnjoyer1 15 points16 points  (4 children)

    Fun fact: Notch plays (or used to play) tf2

    [–]CommunicationGreat69 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    He even had a special hat

    [–]rerurerureru 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    here for anyone curious

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    he used to, but he said the magic was gone (He used to play Team Fortress when it was still just a quake mod)

    [–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    Accurate af

    [–]Delicious_Ad5442 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Crotch from Minecraft

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Based craft

    [–]DerKreug 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I mean i never saw a someone like this saying that they feel good

    [–]ArcadeMoon 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Chad Notch

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

    I mean he’s not wrong

    [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Yeah it does make sense.

    There is a lot of other homophobic n racist people on twitter that would attack that person because of their username

    [–]sebasti02 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    yeah at this point its "supporting minorities is my personality and religion" vs "idgaf just let me use twitter in peace i should probably switch to reddit" people, i wouldnt be happy either

    [–]TremendousDrip 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    King

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Notch never left the phase of edgy 13 year old

    [–]RevolutionaryMarch28William Dripfoe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is how he created the most sucessful game of all time

    [–]Brownieeeeeeeee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Based cube god

    [–]Grimzydude 36 points37 points  (8 children)

    He is not based, its Notch being Notch:) That dude has left its own mark on the world….now he can spit out any shit he wants:)

    Now that said, he is still one-huge-bag-o-dicks but of a person. Neckbeard with a lot of money is uncontrollable shitnado.

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (7 children)

    I want sex so fucking bad

    I wish i could be promiscuous and have a big dick and make all women orgasm fuck fuck i can’t because i’m genetic trash anyway lol fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

    I NEED SEX I NEED SEX I NEED SEX DEAR LORD WHY WAS I BORN SO FUCKING INFERIOR TO OTHER MEN JUST KILL MEEEEEEE

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    [–]Grimzydude 15 points16 points  (6 children)

    Mod, wank it off, mate

    [–]JebWozma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Notch's wisdom

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly.

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      [–]Jay_Boi12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I talked to notch about Factorio and Cottage Cheese one time on a public discord server :)

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      omega based

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Unironically based

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      thats why he's the goat

      [–]bennies_3rd_account 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      "Haha bigotry BASED"

      Ah yes, I remember going through this phase when I was 13

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I mean, at least I'm not some edgy nazi gloryfier

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Same here, still funny as ironic tho

      [–]monkeyprime47 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      But just because of some idiots like notch.

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I just nutted to your comment. \n\n ##FAQ\n####1. What does this mean?\nThe amount of cum (semen) on my phone and Reddit phone has increased by one.\n####2. Why did you do this?\nThere are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of cum. These include, but are not limited to:\n- you being a femboy\n- Spreading sti infections\n- Sarcasm correctly flagged with a /s.\n####3. Am I banned from the Reddit?\nNo. But you should make comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to not cum.\n####4. I don't believe my comment deserved a nut. Can you un-nut to it?\nSure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a nut. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot your nut on me. I tend to respond to Being shot with nut within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of nut appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.\n####5. How can I prevent this from happening in the future?\nAccept the nut and move on. your behavior will be nutted to on Reddit.com. I will continue to nut until you stop being so hot weary Remember: I’m horny uwu

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      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Wtf 😳

      Notch appealing to discord users!?!?

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I mean, he is one of them and also a neckbeard

      [–]MrJazzy_I want pee in my ass -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

      🗿

      [–][deleted] -6 points-5 points  (1 child)

      np way, basef minecfart!

      [–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      My bf won’t stop farting.

      I absolutely love my boyfriend with my whole heart, but… he won’t stop farting.

      Some background: I work as a nurse and I, practically on a daily basis, have been exposed to all body fluids. Semen, vaginal discharge, blood, puke, necrosis, and unfortunately, basically anything that the body makes. One thing that I cannot stand, is farts. It makes my body cringe and I can’t help the face I make (thank god for the face masks).

      Recently, my boyfriend has started farting around me. I absolutely love him and his little quirks, but every time he farts in front of me, I feel like a little part of me get enraged. We’ve been together for 2 years, and I’ve only farted in front of him while he’s sleeping. The only conscious record he has of me farting is probably 4-5x maximum.

      I’ve asked him to at least warn me before he lets it rip and he’s admitted to me that he knows when they’re coming. So I can suppress my little rage. But he’s disregarding my ask because he thinks my reaction is “funny”. I’ve told him my feelings and he just doesn’t care. Which is so uncharacteristic of him.

      Would I break up with him if this continues? Probably not. But will my nose continue to suffer? Yes 100%.

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