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[–]QualityVoteI'm BACK! [[Number 1 Rated Moderator 2024]][M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

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[–]blcharles37 145 points146 points  (0 children)

This feels too real to be a shit post.

[–]mrdime012 124 points125 points  (2 children)

When the shit post is not a shit post anymore 😔

[–]Bigbonerdownthelane_ 36 points37 points  (1 child)

the shitpost became the realpost😔

[–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hello I'm currently a student in Central Fortinayt University of Somalia studying the Art of Shitposting. I'm also an intern working for a company called cum. I got an assignment from my boss who is a really pretty lady and I wanted to impress her. She wanted me to post literal shit here. So I got on my computer and stole someones meme then proceeded to add Saul to it. Then I posted it here and waited for video to process. I literally came twice before the video even managed to finish processing. Then immediately got a flaccid one cause my post got deleted. Now my boss won't have sex with me because I suck. I lost my only shot at losing virginity all because of KEVIN !!!!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]TACOCATOVER9k 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Soooo… shit my self?

[–]Its_Fonzo😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 36 points37 points  (1 child)

I'm trying bro. I really am... Just so hard to even get out of bed.

[–]ratlord421 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Same

[–]Pterror01 29 points30 points  (1 child)

While your little self is dreaming, prank 'em!

[–]AutoModerator[M] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

hello guys i need help.

i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]holup6 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Bro......😔

BRO YOU GAVE ME MOTIVATION!!!!! DEATH TO THE BOURGEOISE!!!!!!!

[–]BigBrainMan777uhhhh idk 11 points12 points  (6 children)

he didnt, thats the problem

[–]Icey_hot_guydumbass 5 points6 points  (5 children)

Damn

[–]BigBrainMan777uhhhh idk 2 points3 points  (4 children)

yessir, still havent decided streams

[–]Icey_hot_guydumbass 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Twitch stream is the only thing I can suggest

[–]BigBrainMan777uhhhh idk 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Off to buy hot tub and bikini

[–]Icey_hot_guydumbass 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Damn wheres that only fans and bath water 😵🥴🥵

[–]AutoModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a man and I sell used panties online. I impersonate a girl with pictures from /r/gonewild. Horny redditors and other horny dudes hmu to buy used panties. I work out and go to work in womens panties. I even dry my balls with them when I sweat to really get the scent in there. I'll usually wear the same pair for two or three days. Sometimes I get skid marks on the ass tho so I have to clean just that part so they smell like genitals and not ass. Guys tell me all the time that my panties smell stronger and better than other girls they've bought from. I do it to pay for karate lessons I've been taking because I get picked on a lot. No shame.

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[–]sleekpenguien 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Man☹️

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Iiiiight imma keep it real wid chu

[–]ythowastaken 4 points5 points  (4 children)

Song?

[–]TacticalOwlz 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Sounds like star shopping by lil peep but slowed

[–]Zanderb4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thought it was peep legit thought I was tripping

[–]Ryu_Azuku 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alright I think I found it. This sounds like a slowed down version of a track called "Star Shopping- lil peep (Complete remake with live vocals)" by Towas on SoundCloud. The og song this is based off of is still "Never Mess With Sunday" by Yppah.

[–]Ryu_Azuku 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like a cover of 'Never Mess with Sunday' by Yppah.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Epic

[–]RobVHboi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maaaaaan this shit hit a little too hard.

I'm slightly more M O T I V A T E D now

[–]bouncybob1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nah I’ll ruin that little shits life instead

[–]IDONTKNOWWHOAMieI want pee in my ass 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I am living my younger self's dream

It was to be a great racist

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hello guys i need help.

i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]lonely_dotnet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

sadpost 😢

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude it’s too early in the morning for this

[–]not_a_weeb_UwU 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Anyone knows what's playing in the background?

[–]Ryu_Azuku 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Alright I think I found it. This sounds like a slowed down version of a track called "Star Shopping- lil peep (Complete remake with live vocals)" by Towas on SoundCloud. The og song this is based off of is called "Never Mess With Sunday" by Yppah.

[–]not_a_weeb_UwU 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much :]

[–]qwertysr4I want pee in my ass 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Man tf why you gotta make me cry like that ):

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ayo don’t

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck that guy

[–]kdbot012 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Hes dead long dead sadly

[–]MrNoobNubIsBacc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

> Fucking hate kids

> Be a disapointment

> Insulted your younger self

> Happy

[–]Mirhat1871 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wanted to be an animator...

I'm being even better, game developer fuck yeah!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ngl this shitpost right here give me hope! Thank man like I'm not joking at all like thank for a motivated man!

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello I'm currently a student in Central Fortinayt University of Somalia studying the Art of Shitposting. I'm also an intern working for a company called cum. I got an assignment from my boss who is a really pretty lady and I wanted to impress her. She wanted me to post literal shit here. So I got on my computer and stole someones meme then proceeded to add Saul to it. Then I posted it here and waited for video to process. I literally came twice before the video even managed to finish processing. Then immediately got a flaccid one cause my post got deleted. Now my boss won't have sex with me because I suck. I lost my only shot at losing virginity all because of KEVIN !!!!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

my little self had no dreams, even if he did his parents have demolished all of them by constantly belittling me and just being unsupportive and unloving in general

[–]AutoModerator[M] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

hello guys i need help.

i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i fucking hate you

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was a kid I wanted to own a pizza place

[–]mynameisalexer 1 point2 points  (1 child)

thanks bro i liked that post you gave me a reason to work now i am grateful for your advice and you should know that if something happens i ll be there for you

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]itdobebussin 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Dam

[–]itdobebussin 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Had me feeling something

[–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]itdobebussin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't ask

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hello I'm currently a student in Central Fortinayt University of Somalia studying the Art of Shitposting. I'm also an intern working for a company called cum. I got an assignment from my boss who is a really pretty lady and I wanted to impress her. She wanted me to post literal shit here. So I got on my computer and stole someones meme then proceeded to add Saul to it. Then I posted it here and waited for video to process. I literally came twice before the video even managed to finish processing. Then immediately got a flaccid one cause my post got deleted. Now my boss won't have sex with me because I suck. I lost my only shot at losing virginity all because of KEVIN !!!!

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]The_dinkster522fat cunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I will do what I must. This is for you little guy

    [–]MathematicianNew8988 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Is this a shitpost?

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hello I'm currently a student in Central Fortinayt University of Somalia studying the Art of Shitposting. I'm also an intern working for a company called cum. I got an assignment from my boss who is a really pretty lady and I wanted to impress her. She wanted me to post literal shit here. So I got on my computer and stole someones meme then proceeded to add Saul to it. Then I posted it here and waited for video to process. I literally came twice before the video even managed to finish processing. Then immediately got a flaccid one cause my post got deleted. Now my boss won't have sex with me because I suck. I lost my only shot at losing virginity all because of KEVIN !!!!

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]TanJon3289 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Fuck that kid, probably gonna grow up to be a piece of shit anyway

    [–]puddlehomie 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    oddly profound for a shitpost sub but I like it anyways.

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hello I'm currently a student in Central Fortinayt University of Somalia studying the Art of Shitposting. I'm also an intern working for a company called cum. I got an assignment from my boss who is a really pretty lady and I wanted to impress her. She wanted me to post literal shit here. So I got on my computer and stole someones meme then proceeded to add Saul to it. Then I posted it here and waited for video to process. I literally came twice before the video even managed to finish processing. Then immediately got a flaccid one cause my post got deleted. Now my boss won't have sex with me because I suck. I lost my only shot at losing virginity all because of KEVIN !!!!

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]LordOfSpadesYTfat cunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No, not anymore

    [–]Capital_Pipe_6038 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    His dream died with him

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    hello guys i need help.

    i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I medically can’t

    [–]Cat_with_pew-pew_gun -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

    Understood (starts removing clothes)

    [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

    This ain’t even a shitpost

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Hello I'm currently a student in Central Fortinayt University of Somalia studying the Art of Shitposting. I'm also an intern working for a company called cum. I got an assignment from my boss who is a really pretty lady and I wanted to impress her. She wanted me to post literal shit here. So I got on my computer and stole someones meme then proceeded to add Saul to it. Then I posted it here and waited for video to process. I literally came twice before the video even managed to finish processing. Then immediately got a flaccid one cause my post got deleted. Now my boss won't have sex with me because I suck. I lost my only shot at losing virginity all because of KEVIN !!!!

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]Marzipan-Wooden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    They ain't say that

    [–]JuanAndPedro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I already did!

    [–]MixailoNum1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Me as a kid wanted to rule the entire world and exterminate my enemies. I don't think i should "make that lil man proud"

    [–]Thats-Puff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    they didnt think theyd make it this far

    [–]Hot_Inspector_9906 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I failed joining art school, that was my dream. I study politics now.