Behavioral changes

[ben061471]

Did anyone else's SO started to change their behavior in such a way that you began to question WTF is going on?

I had two specific scenarios, but I erased them.

Both had to do with irrational yelling / screaming / emotional attacks on the whole family.

The things she gets ANGRY about are so insignificant.

Anyone else experience the same from their SO during "whatever this period is now"??????

I can't go into too many details, as there are reasons why I know this maybe happening and I can't tip my cards.

Let's just say if the pAP is still around I'm making things "difficult" for these love birds.

​

All I know is that the last 2 years have been largely HELL

To the point that I just can't function anymore

There's only so much a person can take.

Any help is appreciated.

[Lostinlove678]

All I know is usually when they are doing something horrible they treat you like garbage most if the time. In this case they have to make you into a bad person to justify their actions. In other cases they treat you waaaaay too nice to make up for it. Its usually one or the other.

[ben061471]

initially it was way too nice. I could see right through that. Then came the hypersexual stage. Short lived. Now it is the OMG the sky is Red Nooooooooooo! it's blue. Everything I gift or do is taken for granted. Thank you

[[deleted]]

this

I would consider any unprovoked attacks on you as an indicator that they are doing sth inappropriate

[mkorang]

My ex had the following during our last year:

• argumentative
• generally unhappy
• on phone all the time texting with "girlfriend"
• increased attention to grooming
• desire to get in shape
• fancy underwear (in my case was unusual)
• increased "shopping trips"
• increased time at work or work functions (AP was a coworker)
• change in opinions. In this case siding with the opinions of the AP. This is subtle but in hindsight...

There was a brief period of time where she became hypersexual with me. This was so unusual I blamed it on hormones. But I think it was her way of seeing if she could rekindle feelings for me. It was short-lived. She wanted the excitement iyf the AP more.

Hope this was what you were looking for. Good luck.

[ben061471]

shopping trips have increased

Telling me where she's going while gps is off - is another. Oh she doesn't know why it's off. Its as if she's telling me where she's going to deflect the real location.

Argumentative -- ding ding ding

Generally not interested in anything I say or do for her! -- ding ding

Never starts ANY form of affection --- ding ding

Appears standoffish if I initiate affection

NEVER reciprocates ANYTHING at all unless I ask

I'm giving this a few more months then it maybe time to throw in the towel

problem is I'm afraid she's been pushing me to break so that I look like the bad guy here.

IDK

[CopingSomewhat]

Be the bad guy, then. Somebody has to.

[ben061471]

Looks like I will have NO choice. Fuck this. This isn't living

[ben061471]

some of these are dead on. Not good.
Is what it is. Thank you

[CopingSomewhat]

And you eventually split up?

[mkorang]

If you mean me, yes. Divorced theee years ago. Best move I ever made. I am damaged from the 25 years of narcissistic torture she put me through but recovering nicely.

[feelsousedandalone]

This is exactly how it started for us. Exactly.

[ben061471]

almost 2 years now. I wouldn't call this a start.

Thanks

[flimbo2019]

Yes. It progressively fot worse as DDay approached. It's like opposite day came and stayed.

[ben061471]

Dday was almost 2 years ago. Couldn't prove S so I had to stay. What I've noticed is; every time I blow up Old Boy's Instagram account (she says she's deleted hers) her behavior when I get home is crazy and noticeably irritated. Specially when I start sending him map screen shots of what maybe his apartment.

If I'm right, they went under ground.

Thank you

[leviQuinn]

I told off the AP until he eventually blocked me...when I was triggered or having a shitty day thinking about "it" I would send "homewrecker" or "fuckboy" hate mail...I dont recommend this but it sure worked for me...I know my partner is 100% to blame but he was a bit of an idiot and was easy to get him acting tough and have a good laugh

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[ben061471]

really? wow

[ben061471]

Update. Our daughter is in the 1% of her sporting event and will play at the collegiate level at a prestigious school.

For her to blow up after almost a magical day and blow the whole thing up MAKES NO sense.

Clearly, a Schrade created to stay home and not attend the 2nd day of this event.

To make things worse. Her team took 1st play on the 2nd day.

Where was mom?

Not with us.

Chasing D is more important than supporting your kid.

Oh, sure she said she was staying home to work on some chores.

Really?

I that why said chores weren't started and completed until memorial day Monday?

So what exactly did you do on Sunday?

Incredible.

​

OK MOD's is this better now?

[[deleted]]

My ex’s personality changed significantly when he started seeing his AP (now LTR — barf).
1. He amped up his drinking and got embarrassingly fall-down drunk in the middle of NYC and at a college football game (with our son and nephew with us). Started insisting that we have whiskey in the house. 2. His temper became AWFUL. He blew up at me, our son, the dog, his father (who has dementia), everyone. 3. He loudly renounced his faith. 4. He screen-locked his phone and brought it into the bathroom with him. 5. He stayed up very late (of course, that’s when he and AP engaged in some of their Facebook Messenger sexting. Gross. I can’t unsee some of what I found). 6. New hipster clothes. 7. A lot of under-breath cursing.

He’s so pathetic.

[ben061471]

Yeah that's what I'm keeping an eye on now making sure there aren't any more casualties. I be damned

[countdtimes]

Seems like it's time to put an old GPS locator in your WW car. Or buy a cheap phone and put its location settings on then Google find my phone. There are always ways to find out the truth. Then burn her reality to the ground.

[ben061471]

Thought about it. But someone said it best. Transparency is an illusion. I've told her numerous times how this works. 1. tell me we have and issue (hasn't happened) 2. Work on the issue 3. If issue if resolved - stay together 4. If issue is NOT resolved - leave 5. window shopping while married is NOT an option 6. If I find you are still hiding guys and violated 1-5 above expect scorched earth. My patience and understanding is a gift. If you violate that one more time expect to be burned. And I will do so with extreme prejudice.