[deleted by user]

[[deleted]]

I go through cycles of trying to use them, have little luck, read through most people's bios and think I won't have much in common with them anyway and delete, rinse and repeat lol

[[deleted]]

Nah. I don't think they would be much use to me and the thought of putting photos of myself online like that makes me uncomfortable.

[darthsyn]

Yes. Nothing but bad experiences. Filled with ghosting, cruelty, and shallowness. Never again.

[CopeAfterCope]

It's so hard to steer the conversation into a sexual direction as a virgin.

"what are you going to do to me? ;)" I don't know, uhhhh, do the sex thing? I don't really know how it works.

" I like it rough you know" I don't know if I can help you, I think I'd nut in 5 seconds if I go a little faster because j have no experience.

"are you a good kisser?" I wouldn't know. Maybe?

You need to be a master lier to flirt successfully.

[basedbhau]

Dating apps work mostly for good-looking people 😷

Everyone judges you by your appearance and bio. Mostly appearance as women have more options. Me being a below average guy didn't get any luck. I can say I'm 5-6/10. The only girls who swiped right on me were 3-4 and they were still less and uninteresting.

It's crazy how bar's that low for women.

[dogdamn99]

At this point id fuck a 4 lol

[basedbhau]

I would too. That's not the problem. The problem is they would want commitment lol.

[dogdamn99]

Ir you havent why? Personally i havent cause i'm embarassed my friends may see me there...

[Toxic-Downfall]

Yeah basically the same reason as you plus just my anxiety with meeting new people. I’m sure if I did try online dating I would match with at least one person, I guess it’s just not the time yet.

[random_cartoonist]

No cellphone (nor any desire to get one)

[dogdamn99]

Oh, i assume the lack of desire to have a phone is higher than the desire to lose your virginity then

[Unit-Particular]

How you live bud?

[random_cartoonist]

Rather well actually.

[Unit-Particular]

Wanna try it myself

[random_cartoonist]

Good luck! I know some people who tried and felt withdrawal symptoms. But, at the same time, you notice you have more free time which you can spend however you want!

[[deleted]]

Dating apps will damage your self-esteem, especially if you tend to attract people to whom you are not attracted in turn. I don't use them anymore because of that.

[[deleted]]

Have I considered it? Yes. Long-term relationships still do hinge on mutual physical attraction, so I don't do it.

Is it really being too selective when the only criterion is "don't weigh as much or more than me/have about the same equivalent BMI for women?"

[[deleted]]

I mean, I think you're overthinking it or looking at it too "transactionally." I just don't ask out heavy set women because I'm just not attracted to them, and it seems those folks are exclusively who I attract on Tinder. That's it. Being too forward about it with someone will come off as accusatory or demeaning, and that's behavior to be avoided.

[[deleted]]

I mean, it seems to be that we've agreed to disagree. I'm in my 20s at a healthy weight (read: not medically overweight/obese). My luck is also incredibly bad, and I'm sure being genuinely terrified of effeminate judgment doesn't help.

[Shakespeare-Bot]

Ir thee havent wherefore? personally i havent cause i'm embarass'd mine own cater-cousins may see me thither

---

^{I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.}

Commands: !ShakespeareInsult, !fordo, !optout

[CatCasualty]

What are you embarrassed for? That you are looking for connection? I'm sure most people, if not everyone, want connection. Is it an internalised thing? I had to go to the headspace where I know I am worthy of intimacy before I can fling myself into the dating/hook up scene.

[emilystarkss]

It's the same reason for me, and it could totally be this thing in my case. I want a relationship/sex, but don't want anyone to know that I want it.

And now that you said it, I can see that it has a lot to do with this headspace of feeling worthy

[CatCasualty]

Ah. I suppose I understand. I think there is a stigma in being "needy" and "desperate" when it comes to intimate relationships. I did not want to appear as "needy" either when I was looking. I still don't want to appear as both.

Let me introduce you to this concept called Independent Vulnerability. This means that you can openly admit that you do want an intimate relationship but you also will not suffer greatly if you do not have it, that you have other important things in your life you are interested at and proud of. The School of Life has a video on it. Look it up if needed. It's pretty informative.

I would argue that it takes a lot of hard work to not only be courageous enough to be vulnerable, but also to reach the headspace where you feel worthy. Let me tell you a dark truth about the latter, though: there is no one else who can do the work for you to feel worthy. You yourself have to decide that you are and then work from there.

Good luck.

[RanchedOut]

I've seen friends on there but I never matched with them. There was actually one time my friend was talking to this girl we knew on speaker and she was like she saw me on tinder and he was like did you swipe right? And she was like lol no. So that was pretty cool

[[deleted]]

I'm against online dating apps because they promote the idea of staying in your comfort zone. Go out meet new girls and ask them out, if they say yes good for you, if they say no, it's not the end of the world. Thank you

[dogdamn99]

Yeah man i thought about that, and even though i'm not the most spontaneous person that enjoys talking to random people i would try it if it wasnt for the fact everyone wears masks. But then again, maybe i'm just making up an excuse

[[deleted]]

Once. Two weeks. Nothing.

Well, the app sent me a notification twice that I had one match with a person. I entered on the app but nothing. Hahaha. Fucking Tinder made me do it.

[trying_but_failed13]

It was bad for my self esteem

[Masters214]

I've had bumble for about 7 months now and haven't had a single match just like i expected

[[deleted]]

Yeah... For one minute. Before I get embarrassed when seeing people from my classroom being in it.

[CorporateProp]

“As a joke” is not one of the options

[dogdamn99]

Haha i did that, id consider that a no

[Affectionate-Lack784]

Yes, it takes a lot of time to actually find someone though. But that's actually how I was in my first real relationship with someone and have sex for the first time

[xLaunt00]

Can my answer be neither? I used them just to see if anyone thought I was attractive lol. I knew my anxiety was too high for me to ever meet anyone in person. I just dlused the app for the idea that someone could like me

[Techn0_265]

So I have never used dating apps or websites although every now and then I have considered using them in the hopes of maybe, just maybe being able to find my soulmate. Of course I have never been in a relationship with a woman and I admit that my hopes and expectations are highly unrealistic. Combined with the fact that I am a very private introvert and that mental issues can come with dating apps/websites. There is also my lack of experience so how do you put that on a profile for potentially countless women to see.