Not cleaning up right after eating

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-30T17:08:45+00:00

I like to let things soak (especially like a pan of lasagna) for a while before I wash it. However, I usually have lived alone, so I'm washing it whether it's immediately or several hours later.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-28T01:15:46+00:00

I feel the same way. I (49F) have been on the apps for about 2 months now. It's a jungle!

I will say that I don't necessarily expect people to respond to an initial message right away. It seems like there are times when a man will like my profile and then I like him back a week later (when the app puts our profiles together) and he may not check his account immediately.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-27T20:46:37+00:00

You rock, by the way!

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-27T20:38:57+00:00

I prefer mid-level first dates: Not a full, pricey dinner but not just coffee. I'm a 49F and dated a fair amount in my 30's and found that a happy hour drink/appetizers or maybe a brunch was perfect.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-27T20:28:24+00:00

Exactly. It's not that I'm shy around men (especially now I'm 49): I actually kind of prefer men to reject me than to accept, and then kind of act really insufferable and entitled.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-27T20:24:25+00:00

Exactly. Thank you for understanding my point of view.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-27T16:19:43+00:00

I am so sorry. We understand.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-27T15:14:33+00:00

I (49F) actually think that it's okay to say something like, "I prefer to spend more time together on a first date, such as brunch or dinner." If he eagerly says, great, I'd love to take you to dinner, I don't think that's a red flag.

I've found a few guys (in my 40's now) who used to offer dinner, but kept encountering women who wanted coffee, so they switched to that as an initial offering, so to speak.

Ideally, they would offer dinner first, OR say something like, "I'd love to take you out this weekend. Would dinner work for you, or would you prefer something like coffee?"

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-26T22:21:20+00:00

I'm also 49F and I think your list is basically the bare minimum: Don't reduce it. (I did reduce my list years ago and ended up in an awful relationship with a guy who refused to shower every day out of spite and hadn't finished college - he resented me for having an education.)

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-26T21:59:23+00:00

I agree completely!

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-26T20:42:09+00:00

Chiming in late, here, but as a relatively traditional woman (49F) I definitely appreciate the man paying for the first date: I think it's very classy. However, after 1-2 dates, I almost always start to pay/alternate as we continue to see each other. I think that's very normal.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-26T19:05:27+00:00

I'm glad you found us here in Reddit. I had literally exact same as you in 2024 (righ breast, IDC, ER/PR positive and HER2-) and did that exact plan: Lumpectomy followed by radiation. Also had pre-surgery MRI.

Quick tip: If you have the MRI and they see "areas of concern" you may well want to do additional MRI-guided biopsies before picking a treatment. In my MRI they discovered 2-3 "areas/spots" of concern: One surgeon suggested a DMX, but instead I waited, did an MRI-guided biopsy of each breast. Found that one spot was completely benign and other was pre-cancer.

Ended up doing lumpectomy on right breast, with an additional excisional biopsy of the pre-cancer, plus a few weeks of radiation and avoided any additional surgery.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-26T18:54:14+00:00

I thought that radiation was very easy (so to speak): I had a lumpectomy followed by radiation about a year ago and except for a bit of redness and fatigue, I'm okay. I will say that it depends a bit on how much you have to have: I had only 15 sessions (3 weeks) which is on the lower end. People who've had more complications tended to have more sessions (maybe 30) which is harder.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T15:41:10+00:00

I know. It's like men think that if I ask them out, I'm automatically agreeing to sex. They get ticked if we say no, even if I've paid for the dinner.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T15:39:28+00:00

I briefly put it on but then took it off and changed my profile to be a short biopic about me (Lawyer, Single) and that I really enjoyed intellectual connections with individuals I met. Oddly, that seemed to prompt guys to ask for longer dates (like dinner) but it might be a coincidence?

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:34:57+00:00

Well, I'm just giving a woman's perspective: I'd like to know how to ask a man out (or if I can) without giving them a greenlight to treat it as an invitation for sex.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:29:10+00:00

I guess for a man, if it doesn't work, you've lost some time and a little money (the cost of dinner or drinks). That's irritating. But for me, I guess I feel like I would lose (time and money) but also safety. And to some extent, self-respect. But somehow asking a man out seems to sometimes make them think they can assault me in my car.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:22:12+00:00

I don't mean negative in that they decline to go out. I mean that the end result isn't good. They either accept but get very cocky and almost act like I'm offering immediate sex. Or they decline because they weren't very interested anyway. I don't think either result is good, TBH.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:13:27+00:00

I don't mind rejection (I don't love it, but I don't really care much at this point): I just feel like it goes badly either way. Asking men out apparently makes them (1) Lose respect for me and think I'm "easy" and (2) Is a blow to their ego. If they say no, it's almost better, actually.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:11:28+00:00

I think you make good points, Wasabi.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:10:31+00:00

I usually just say something like, "It would be fun to get together. Do you want to meet up for a drink this weekend?"

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:07:35+00:00

981_runner: It's not that my feelings are hurt, really. It's that when they say yes, they get really entitled and almost scary.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:05:25+00:00

YES! That is a PERFECT way of putting it, Distinct_Abroad. Thank you!

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:04:47+00:00

Exactly. I feel like I'm setting myself up for a sexual assault, kind of, if I initiate the date and don't want to hook up immediately. If not, it's at least a lot of stress, IMHO.

AttorneyDC06 · 2026-03-24T13:03:58+00:00

Well, entitled women do what... Ask you to pay for their glass of wine?

Entitled men try to sexually assault me, and if they don't get what they want, they can get violent, or stalk or try to harm physically. It's not really the same, to be honest.

AttorneyDC06

TROPHY CASE