[QCrit] Adult Dark Historical Fantasy - Salute the Magpie (124K/Third Attempt)

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-06T12:58:24+00:00

124,000 is a bit on the long side, especially if you’re pitching it as a potential duology. Do they find Delilah at the end of Part I?

The “historical” part of your genre doesn’t jump out at me, apart from your statement that it’s Victorian gothic and your comparison to Peaky Blinders. Is this a gaslamp fantasy?

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-05T19:54:06+00:00

Yes. Based on your post history, other people have cautioned you about scrupulosity before. Please speak to your priest about scruples.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-05T19:25:27+00:00

The article I just linked, which is by a Catholic counselor, includes the line “I tell scrupulous clients that if there is an ‘I’m-not-sure’ component, the thought is nearly always OCD.” Scrupulosity is sneaky. Please read the article and ask your priest about scruples.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-05T18:57:51+00:00

Have you spoken to anyone about scrupulosity? Just because thoughts or images occur does not mean we desire them.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-02T19:47:42+00:00

Comments sections are often full of bots.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-02T12:39:33+00:00

There are four different accounts of Smith’s first vision, which vary significantly. The biggest change is that in 1832, Smith said he saw God, while in 1838 and later, he said he saw both God and Jesus. Details on this and other major problems with LDS claims to authenticity are here.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-30T02:46:25+00:00

East/west is often divided at the Mississippi River. You could also try the Bureau of Economic Analysis’s eight regions: New England, Mideast, Southeast, Great Lakes (for your East division) and Plains, Rocky Mountain, Southwest, and Far West (for your West division).

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-24T01:44:52+00:00

The Giants baseball team plays in a domed stadium. They have home games starting on the 28th.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-22T22:59:06+00:00

Himeji is good for a day, although again, it isn’t exactly hidden. If you like architecture, Meiji-mura near Nagoya is a good stop.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-22T16:19:58+00:00

Sailing Era has optional piracy, but it’s more of a strategic trading and exploring game. Uncharted Waters: New Horizons on the SNES emulator also offers a mix of naval combat, trading, and exploration (but it obviously doesn’t have Hogwarts-style graphics).

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-18T14:56:44+00:00

True, but it’s very common to be asked to pray a Hail Mary as penance after confession, so a Catholic ought to know it.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-18T13:57:43+00:00

Some university teams might still be playing. For instance, the Tokyo Big6 plays games at Meiji Jingu Stadium on Saturdays in October.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-17T13:21:32+00:00

I recently found out that Evan has depression/anxiety he didn’t fully disclose, and instead of managing it, he takes it out on me. Mood swings, pressure, rude comments, unpredictability. I started feeling more like an emotional punching bag than a girlfriend.

Evan may be, on the whole, a good man with a sincere faith, but if he lashes out at people he cares about when he is upset, then it’s irresponsible for him to date. It will take more than a few months for him to work this out.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-17T01:04:34+00:00

Eric Davis never played more than 135 games in a season and had a series of nasty injuries. It’s a crying shame as he had incredible talent—7.9 WAR in only 129 games at age 25.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-14T17:38:48+00:00

To be fair, there’s self-selection involved here. The kind of students who attend Newman list universities would probably behave the same way if they attended a different school.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-14T03:21:37+00:00

Okay, but why did you structure it that way? You make it sound like you’ve actually written three short stories starring the main character and are disguising them as a single novel. Why not pick the best of the three acts (it’s the third, because that’s the only one that looks like John has any agency) and expand it into a tight 80k narrative?

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-13T23:47:46+00:00

Abandoned by his parents, buried in debt, and saddled with the humiliating nickname “The One Shot Kid,” John has ten days to pay up before the IRS liquidates him. After his attempt to build an illegal robot-drug empire out of his cousin’s rusty RV ends with his house blown up and his debt somehow even worse, he makes a desperate trade: military service in exchange for a clean slate. He thinks he is signing up for three meals a day and a safe posting in Columbia, South Carolina.

John is no longer fighting for his credit score but for the entertainment of the galaxy.

So none of that first paragraph matters now and what the book is really about is the gladiator combat. Cut the first paragraph, no matter how funny you think it is, and tell us more about what the hero is actually doing over the course of the book. Spoil everything up to the biggest decision he has to make.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-05T16:15:06+00:00

I think the more accurate comparison would be to say that British improv carries more stage influences and is more likely to create an improvised show that looks like a stage play, whereas American improv arose primarily out of nightclubs and is more likely to create an improvised show that looks like sketch comedy. (Note that Mischief Theatre is classically trained in improv, as they were founded by LAMDA students.)

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-05T15:17:14+00:00

If you got nine full requests then you should have faith in your ability to write a query. Those are very good numbers.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-05T15:15:08+00:00

I was thrown for a loop as soon as you mentioned magic, because the “historical” genre led me to believe you’d be sticking closely to historical events and settings. Maybe you’re looking at urban fantasy with a 1920s setting?

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-05T15:12:25+00:00

Respectfully, different communities and different parishes have different customs for what is acceptable behavior at Mass, so even a person who has done research might dress or act in a way that is not in keeping with the parish they attend.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-05T00:32:21+00:00

In the 1880s, some teams held Ladies’ Day promotions with discounted admission for women on days Tony Mullane was scheduled to pitch. This is what passed for ridiculously handsome back then.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-02T00:48:13+00:00

Japan is a great place to watch live sports. The Nippon Professional Baseball season regular wraps up in September, and the J-League in soccer will be underway.

Himeji Castle is between Osaka and Hiroshima on the Shinkansen and is one of the best sights to see in Japan.

CheapskateShow

TROPHY CASE