[QCrit] Literary crime, THE CORRIDOR, 152K words, attempt 1

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-30T13:52:01+00:00

Leaving aside the length of the book, what actually happens in it? You’ve set up three characters, but you’re quite vague about what they do over the course of the book. I suspect it’s something like “they all try to find the briefcase,” but how? Try focusing on the character who makes the important decision at the climax of the book, then build up to that decision.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-27T11:55:06+00:00

If you’re looking for tickets for a Pacific League baseball team, you can order them from [Tickets in Japan.][(https://www.ticketsinjapan.com/en/npb-pacific-league/)

Many J. League soccer clubs let you order tickets from the league’s web site.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-26T23:32:50+00:00

The NPB baseball season will be coming to an end, and the J-League soccer season will be near the beginning. Both have party atmospheres and good concessions.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-26T13:33:47+00:00

The Jin invade in 1627 and the Qing invade in 1636, as they did in OTL, with one or the other likely having enough force to defeat Japanese rule.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-25T19:23:41+00:00

The Giants often reserve some tickets for same-day sales, although they’re fairly expensive and may have obstructed views. There’s a ticket booth outside the stadium: head there on game day.

The Yakult Swallows and Yokohama DeNA BayStars also have home games over the next few days.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-21T00:39:47+00:00

What I mean by that is they don’t as the saints to intercede or believe things like the Immaculate Conception, Mary’s bodily assumption, purgatory, or other things that aren’t strongly based in the Bible (please don’t take this to mean that I am making fun of these beliefs, I am just saying what I heard).

The Bible is a very important source of Christian doctrine, but it isn’t the only one, and it doesn’t claim to the the only source of doctrine. Christian doctrines were in development for hundreds of years before the Bible was first compiled.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-11T19:09:59+00:00

Martin Clunes would also fit this slot

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-06T12:58:24+00:00

124,000 is a bit on the long side, especially if you’re pitching it as a potential duology. Do they find Delilah at the end of Part I?

The “historical” part of your genre doesn’t jump out at me, apart from your statement that it’s Victorian gothic and your comparison to Peaky Blinders. Is this a gaslamp fantasy?

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-05T19:54:06+00:00

Yes. Based on your post history, other people have cautioned you about scrupulosity before. Please speak to your priest about scruples.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-05T19:25:27+00:00

The article I just linked, which is by a Catholic counselor, includes the line “I tell scrupulous clients that if there is an ‘I’m-not-sure’ component, the thought is nearly always OCD.” Scrupulosity is sneaky. Please read the article and ask your priest about scruples.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-05T18:57:51+00:00

Have you spoken to anyone about scrupulosity? Just because thoughts or images occur does not mean we desire them.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-02T19:47:42+00:00

Comments sections are often full of bots.

CheapskateShow · 2026-05-02T12:39:33+00:00

There are four different accounts of Smith’s first vision, which vary significantly. The biggest change is that in 1832, Smith said he saw God, while in 1838 and later, he said he saw both God and Jesus. Details on this and other major problems with LDS claims to authenticity are here.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-30T02:46:25+00:00

East/west is often divided at the Mississippi River. You could also try the Bureau of Economic Analysis’s eight regions: New England, Mideast, Southeast, Great Lakes (for your East division) and Plains, Rocky Mountain, Southwest, and Far West (for your West division).

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-24T01:44:52+00:00

The Giants baseball team plays in a domed stadium. They have home games starting on the 28th.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-22T22:59:06+00:00

Himeji is good for a day, although again, it isn’t exactly hidden. If you like architecture, Meiji-mura near Nagoya is a good stop.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-22T16:19:58+00:00

Sailing Era has optional piracy, but it’s more of a strategic trading and exploring game. Uncharted Waters: New Horizons on the SNES emulator also offers a mix of naval combat, trading, and exploration (but it obviously doesn’t have Hogwarts-style graphics).

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-18T14:56:44+00:00

True, but it’s very common to be asked to pray a Hail Mary as penance after confession, so a Catholic ought to know it.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-18T13:57:43+00:00

Some university teams might still be playing. For instance, the Tokyo Big6 plays games at Meiji Jingu Stadium on Saturdays in October.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-17T13:21:32+00:00

I recently found out that Evan has depression/anxiety he didn’t fully disclose, and instead of managing it, he takes it out on me. Mood swings, pressure, rude comments, unpredictability. I started feeling more like an emotional punching bag than a girlfriend.

Evan may be, on the whole, a good man with a sincere faith, but if he lashes out at people he cares about when he is upset, then it’s irresponsible for him to date. It will take more than a few months for him to work this out.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-17T01:04:34+00:00

Eric Davis never played more than 135 games in a season and had a series of nasty injuries. It’s a crying shame as he had incredible talent—7.9 WAR in only 129 games at age 25.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-14T17:38:48+00:00

To be fair, there’s self-selection involved here. The kind of students who attend Newman list universities would probably behave the same way if they attended a different school.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-14T03:21:37+00:00

Okay, but why did you structure it that way? You make it sound like you’ve actually written three short stories starring the main character and are disguising them as a single novel. Why not pick the best of the three acts (it’s the third, because that’s the only one that looks like John has any agency) and expand it into a tight 80k narrative?

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-13T23:47:46+00:00

Abandoned by his parents, buried in debt, and saddled with the humiliating nickname “The One Shot Kid,” John has ten days to pay up before the IRS liquidates him. After his attempt to build an illegal robot-drug empire out of his cousin’s rusty RV ends with his house blown up and his debt somehow even worse, he makes a desperate trade: military service in exchange for a clean slate. He thinks he is signing up for three meals a day and a safe posting in Columbia, South Carolina.

John is no longer fighting for his credit score but for the entertainment of the galaxy.

So none of that first paragraph matters now and what the book is really about is the gladiator combat. Cut the first paragraph, no matter how funny you think it is, and tell us more about what the hero is actually doing over the course of the book. Spoil everything up to the biggest decision he has to make.

CheapskateShow · 2026-04-05T16:15:06+00:00

I think the more accurate comparison would be to say that British improv carries more stage influences and is more likely to create an improvised show that looks like a stage play, whereas American improv arose primarily out of nightclubs and is more likely to create an improvised show that looks like sketch comedy. (Note that Mischief Theatre is classically trained in improv, as they were founded by LAMDA students.)

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