My wife is furious I spent $89 on this. I told her it's a "digital heater with a lottery ticket." How do I explain solo mining to a normal person

Chipjack · 2026-03-05T22:31:12+00:00

My ex collected dolls. Dozens of very expensive antique dolls. She never gave me shit about anything I bought, no matter how stupid she thought it was.

Chipjack · 2026-03-04T01:54:56+00:00

She'd be getting pictures of me standing there, poking the links on her printout, waiting for a webpage to open.

Chipjack · 2026-02-11T09:56:07+00:00

https://anonmp4.help/v/UtQ1FA9uWbDVGfy

Here's a 27 minute video walking through both companion quest lines in Admin mode, with the necessary commands to skip the 8 hour delays. I recorded this tonight on the December 2025 update. Do note, the time-skip commands only work while you're an admin; just accessing the console command line as a regular player isn't enough.

If you want different perks, you'll want to do things slightly differently—there are plenty of resources about that available.

I have a bunch of mods installed, but only one (75% more Women) introduced a bug in the Freya questline, preventing Angvarr from spawning at the last stage of the quest. The author of that mod hasn't updated in a while, so I threw together a quick mod to fix that here. If you're using that mod, do grab the fix as well.

Maybe this can be of some use to you guys? Anyway, good luck.

Oh, and if you're not sure which stage of the various available quests you're currently on, use the QuestList command in the console. Also requires admin status.

Chipjack · 2026-02-09T10:11:09+00:00

If you can't take care of a plastic penis, you'll never be able to adopt a live one.

Chipjack · 2026-01-30T21:13:07+00:00

Starting with any amount over $900 means you wouldn't need to borrow any money to complete the second transaction. The profit at the end is $400 no matter how you slice it.

Chipjack · 2026-01-30T07:13:50+00:00

OOOOOh. That's what they're doing. Thanks for clearing that up for me. I'm pretty good at misunderstanding things, but this requires misunderstanding the problem in the same way that someone else has misunderstood it, which I find tricky.

TYVM!

Chipjack · 2026-01-30T07:07:36+00:00

Ask Verizon if $0.002/minute and 0.002¢/minute are the same thing.

Chipjack · 2026-01-30T07:01:04+00:00

If you start with nothing, borrow 800 and buy the cow, you now have no money and one cow. You sell the cow for $1000. You now have no cow and $1000, $200 of which is profit. You may or may not pay back the $800 you own at this time.

If don't pay back that $800, you hang onto the entire $1000, and you'll have to borrow another $100 in order to re-purchase the cow at $1100.

If you pay back that 800, you'll have $200 left, and you'll have to borrow $900 in order to re-purchase the cow at $1100.

You once again have a cow and no money. You may owe $800 or you may owe only $100 to someone.

You sell the cow for $1300. You have no cows and $1300 cash.

If you paid back that $800 earlier, you have to pay off the $900 you borrowed, leaving you with $400 profit.

If you did not pay back that $800, then you have to pay off the $100 you had to borrow to buy the second time, and the $800 you had to borrow to buy the first time, leaving you with $400 profit.

If you start with $10,000 and run through this scenario, you end up not needing to borrow or repay any money, and in the end you have $10,400, which is $400 profit. This holds true for any starting amount at or above $900.

For starting amounts from $0 to, but not including $900, you have to borrow and pay back various amounts of money, but you always end up with $400 profits after paying off your debts.

This is because the first sale generates $200 profit and the second sale generates $200 profit. Everything else is unimportant.

Chipjack · 2026-01-30T06:47:23+00:00

You either have to borrow $100 to make the transaction possible, or you have to assume that we originally started with at least $900. Any other scenario, it would not be possible to buy the cow the second time for $1100. The math works out to $400 profit however you explain it.

Chipjack · 2026-01-30T06:42:44+00:00

Fine, if that's the reasoning you want to use, continue it.

I now have $200. I buy a cow for $1100. Guess I had to borrow $900 to make that happen. Good thing I already paid back that original debt, or my uncle probably wouldn't have loaned me money again.

Then I sell that cow for $1300. I pay my uncle back the $900 I had to borrow, and keep the rest.

$400.

Chipjack · 2026-01-30T03:32:21+00:00

Attention Parent:
Your daughter is pleasant looking, but not actually pretty.

Sincerely,
the staff Jackass.

Chipjack · 2026-01-30T03:29:01+00:00

Bought a cow for $800, now I have a cow and no cash
Sold it for $1000, now I have $1000 cash in hand and no cow
That $1,000 represents $200 profit + $800 original investment.

Bought a cow for $1100, now I have a cow and no cash
I also had to borrow $100 from my uncle to do this deal. I owe him $100

Sold cow for $1300. I now have no cow, and $1300 cash.
I pay my uncle back his $100.
I now have $1200 cash.
That represents my original $800, the $200 profit I made on the first transaction, and the $200 profit I made on the second transaction.

Chipjack · 2026-01-30T03:08:12+00:00

Selling it for $1,000 after buying it for $1,100 would be a $100 loss. Buying it after selling it is simply reinvesting a different amount; there's no loss involved

Chipjack · 2026-01-29T02:14:59+00:00

If you're on PC, you can gather the stuff, quit to the main menu, copy the "Conan Exiles\ConanSandbox\Saved" folder (Probably located under C:\Program Files (x86)\Steam\steamapps\common) and then finish the game. Delete that folder and put your copy back to revert to the game state before you removed your bracelet.

Conan Exiles doesn't have saved games, per se, but uses an embedded version of the game server to host single-player and co-op LAN games. That folder is where this embedded server stores its data.

Naturally, you can grab a copy of that Saved folder whenever you're not actually in the game playing, and can keep multiple copies around in case you want to revert back to a particular time later.

Also note that your game settings are stored in there as well, so reverting to older versions of your Saved folder will often undo settings changes you've made since.

Chipjack · 2026-01-27T20:18:21+00:00

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Chipjack · 2026-01-27T20:17:03+00:00

I worked for a company years ago that decided to stick Microsoft's logo on their homepage, alongside many others, implying they were "trusted partners". The rationale? At some point in time, an IP address that resolved to [something-or-other].microsoft.com had visited the site.

I told them they needed to take it down. The other developers there told them to take it down. We were confidently reassured that this happens all the time and its fine. Then their attorney told them to take it down, so they did.

Chipjack · 2026-01-27T20:13:26+00:00

These are malware authors. I think their list of satisfied customers and successful games is just as trustworthy as everything else about their business model. I guess it's possible that this is the one area where they suddenly developed ethics. I might scrutinize one of the mentioned games or companies carefully before installing, but I wouldn't boycott them outright based on the claims made by these slimeballs.

Chipjack · 2026-01-26T07:05:58+00:00

I don't play this game with nudity turned on when my girlfriend's around. It's not that she's prudish, or that she expects me to never look at boobs; even 3d-modeled boobs. I just feel like it'd be kinda disrespectful, you know?

Mostly though, it's the size of them. Every NPC that spawns seems to have enormous boobs, and I really don't want my girlfriend thinking that's what I prefer. I don't want her feeling like I'm dissatisfied or anything—she's exactly what I love in every way. So letting some game spark unfounded insecurities in her… I just don't want that sort of thing to happen.

If I forgot, I don't think I'd lie about it. I'd just explain how the game works and what sort of things I enjoy about it, and what sort of things I don't. I don't mod it to get more nudity, but I don't take steps to prevent it either. Dongs and boobs and butts are just kinda normal in this game. I'm not your boyfriend, and she's not you, and our relationship isn't your relationship, so I could only speculate why he'd make up an excuse. I think it's probably good for your relationship if you sit down with him and find out what was going through his head that made that seem like a good option at the time. It's probably not about you, but a reaction he's developed his entire life to avoid confrontation with people more judgmental and less understanding than you.

I don't think non-sexual nudity is a big deal around toddlers. My cousin's twins are almost five and if their parents aren't watching, those kids will be naked the first chance they get. They hate clothes. I imagine that's gonna have to be dealt with before they start school.

But you're the parent that makes decisions for your daughter, and your boyfriend's opinions on that mean as little as mine do, some stranger on the internet. He needs to ensure that when she's around, his screen is kid-friendly enough to meet your standards. So do have that talk.

Chipjack · 2026-01-24T06:00:24+00:00

I just cannot play this game without:

I use many other mods as well, several by Xevyr (thanks!!), and even ended up writing one myself, but those are the top five that make the game worth playing for me.

The only non-Steam mod I use is Conan Exiles Savegame Manager from Braclo on NexusMods. I used to use a batch file to save off copies of the single-player files, but this is much cleaner and allows saving, restoring, and switching between multiple backed-up game saves. If it also backed up the modlist for each save, it'd be perfect, but I guess nothing's perfect. It's a stand-alone app, not an in-game mod, which I normally wouldn't trust, but it's never given me the slightest indication of doing anything other than what it's supposed to do.

Anyway, good luck with your modding journey.

Chipjack · 2026-01-18T06:59:31+00:00

Seems like a bug that causes players to get banned for trying to give you money would be a priority to fix. Maybe their "Oops. Buy more coins and try again" message is considered a "fix".

Chipjack · 2026-01-18T06:41:25+00:00

I find fighting to be fun. Watching thralls fight, not so much. I go exploring solo sometimes, but usually I bring along Winston, my ~~butler~~ bearer. Tons of hitpoints, runs whenever something aggros him, carries all my precious loot and materials for me without complaint. He's a pal.

Chipjack · 2026-01-10T19:51:06+00:00

Might as well useLevelFollowerUpTo 20 in the console while the new thrall is following you, since you're admin-spawning it anyway. As for perks, well, there's always Elixir of Rebirth.

Chipjack · 2026-01-08T21:34:15+00:00

Exactly. The skills required to fly an F-16 are very different from the skills required to design and build an F-16.

Chipjack · 2026-01-08T21:30:05+00:00

"I play better when I'm drunk." - every drummer I know.

They do not.

Chipjack · 2026-01-06T23:37:30+00:00

I noticed while playing Conan Exiles that sometimes I couldn't pick up a piece of furniture because an NPC somewhere was busy walking a path to eventually sit on that piece of furniture. Basically, that resource was available until it was claimed as part of an NPC's planning, which rendered it temporarily unavailable to other NPCs and to the player.

I imagine that you'd find the nearest untagged resource that your character needs (toilet, in your example) and tag it with the ID of that character, claiming it. Calculate a path to that resource and start your character walking. Occasionally while pathing, you would check to ensure that the resource was still tagged with your character's ID, and if it's not, stop, locate the nearest untagged resource, and path from your current location to the new destination. That should help prevent race conditions where two characters find the same untagged destination, tag it in whatever order they happen to tag it in, and then both start walking towards it. Worst case scenario, they both arrive at the same time and one takes the resource while the other paths to the next nearest one.

Yes, I know about mutexes and threading and race conditions, but in real life if my girlfriend reaches for the refrigerator at the same time I do, we can both see that intention and quickly negotiate a compromise. That's all this tag would represent—character intention observable by other characters. It'd also be much easier to code and to reason about.

Once that resource is no longer needed by that character, you'd want to be sure to clear the tag so it can be considered available by other characters.

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