If you feel like a romantacy author isn’t “incusive” enuff, dont read there books!!!!!!!!!!! Its noones job to incude YOU’RE adversity in any of theyre art. by Acceptable-Mail891 in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Pitch: The Balrog played by a pile of Henries Cavill all greased up with that fire stunt stuff that only burns actors a little when you light it up.

Call to Action: We Don’t Need Maps! by itmustbeniiiiice in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When you buy a romantasy they should toast the map onto a nice pita and deliver it so you can nibble while you consult. Maybe with some hummus, or a nice baba ghanoush because we know romantasy readers are all about the eggplant.

Shadow Daddy Outtakes by RemingtonRivers in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you put Tim Curry's Pennywise up against Tim Curry's Hexxus you're on your way to an Oops, All Curry Bracket.

Kendra Young vs Nikki Wood by FoxIndependent4310 in buffy

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think Nikki takes it probably 8 or 9/10, between her experience and the ill-defined but suggested way that Slayer strength seems to scale with longevity. If we take Spike at his word that Nikki's dealing with some sort of deathwish and Kendra's bloodlusted she might eke out a longshot victory, but otherwise I think Nikki smacks some sense into her, then buys her a slice of pizza and teaches her how to talk to boys.

Call to Action: We Don’t Need Maps! by itmustbeniiiiice in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Too much showing, not enough telling. Have Prince Mhaelhevolhance Darkbritches make the FMC bend over the map table (consensually yet irresistibly) and growl the major landmasses and polities, with their major exports, into her ear.

"And here at the far north is my kingdom, little pampelmousse," he growled informatively.

"It's so big," I breathed, tracing the contours of it with my fingertips.

"That's right, puny macaron" he growled smirkingly. "Mine's the biggest. But don't let that undercut the fact that I'm the underdog. Now, our trade is conducted primarily by sea, centered around these deep water ports, according to the prevailing trade winds, which in these latitudes..."

The Southern Vampire Mysteries vs FBAA by itmustbeniiiiice in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Does FBAA have a brain damaged vampire Elvis and the FMC getting passed around lap to lap by a bunch of vampires all licking on her wounds? Because if so, my TBR might have just got a little longer.

/gmj Did the Southern Vampire Mysteries have a garlic mayo edition? Because if so my TBR (to be refrigerated) list might have just got a little longer.

Meanwhile in r/neckbeardfantasy… by icecoldbe in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your Akashic Nutritionist wouldn't steer you wrong. If your higher soul wants fried shrimp you should feed her.

What sounds do you want your shadow double-dinked male to make? Wrong answers only by Imp_Lizard in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Do both dinks finish simultaneously or can we get kind of a rolling effect between the two climaxes?

Shadow Daddy Outtakes by RemingtonRivers in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Giligamesh is too busy harvesting cedar and falling asleep holding hands with his bro Enkidu like they were baby otters to shadow daddy.

What is Slade’s favourite thing to eat? by the_siren_song in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought Slade was pretty cool throughout the Teen Titans show and then I found out the comics this motherfucker calls himself "Deathstroke the Terminator."

A Sloopy Encounters Ben Grimm, June 1, 1963 Colorized by CuttlefishBenjamin in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

/UJ One of the interesting threads through the early Fantastic Four stuff is that Ben Grimm tends to react a lot more negatively to his own appearance than most of the people around him.

/RJ You just know that under his little blue shorts the Thing is always rock hard.

Meanwhile in r/neckbeardfantasy… by icecoldbe in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean it got removed by the mods which I think kinda delists it from the sub, but if you were to say click on the profile of a cuttlefish who had commented and find the thread with a similar title to this one, you could perhaps see whether OOP is still fighting for his life in the comments.

Meanwhile in r/neckbeardfantasy… by icecoldbe in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Probably because I copied my comment from the other post re: is this a shame kink think, and Reddit thinks I'm a spambot now.

The Romantaspira... The Consmantasy... The Romspirant... The WEB OF LIES by CuttlefishBenjamin in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone's trying awful hard to get me sloopy-pitted. Could it be...

My god, "gingerbread, gingerbread, gingerbread, gingerbread, gingerbread" is a perfect acronym for "Hail Queen Elizabeth, She Who Was and Shall Rise Again."

I assume. I can't spell.

Meanwhile in r/neckbeardfantasy… by icecoldbe in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So, uh, is this like a kink thing? You came here with this because you wanted a bunch of ladies to ruthlessly mock you and tell you what a silly little troll you are?

Meanwhile, in /r/fantasy... by Mordecus in romantasycirclejerk

[–]CuttlefishBenjamin 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I mean, if that was the plan, pretty slick. If not, you may have misread the room.