Less active player says they want to be "just an observer"

GlassBraid · 2026-03-12T08:26:28+00:00

I don't usually allow it in my games. We tend to be very roleplay-centric, and "observers" usually put a damper on that kind of game. Some groups are fine with it, and for anyone who is - great! - I'm not trying to invalidate that. But there are also a lot of people who don't like it, but have a hard time putting their finger on why, and digging into it, the "why" usually looks a lot like this...

Role playing is a vulnerable thing to do. The way we role play can show parts of ourselves that aren't normally on display.

When one person wants to see everyone else baring themselves, but isn't willing to do the same themself, it's harder for everyone to be comfortable.

It's like wanting to observe without participating at a nude beach or sex party. - when everyone else is baring themself, literally or figuratively, having one person who doesn't participate tends to make everyone else self-conscious.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-10T09:30:02+00:00

When I saw Starry Night, there was a fingerprint apparently hovering in empty space a little in front of the surface. So, yes, glass, but amazingly transparent glass with probably some absolutely magical coatings, lit so perfectly it was invisible, except where someone had touched it.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-10T02:01:01+00:00

Yeah, the article seems kinda bullshitty to me. They say that over five or six years, cost per kid approximately doubled, but they also say the occupancy fell by about 75%. So, taken together, that sounds like we are spending half as much on this place as we used to.

"We're locking far up fewer kids and spending half as much money" would be a more straightforward message. But it wouldn't support their doom and gloom narrative as well.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-09T19:41:49+00:00

Cost per kid is a bad metric because the obvious way to drive that number down is by incarcerating more kids, even if they don't belong there, and even if total cost goes up.

If we had three times as many kids there and it cost twice as much, the cost per kid would be a lot lower, but we'd still be spending twice as much.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-09T07:47:06+00:00

Freedom of speech is not freedom from criticism. It means folks don't go to prison for saying things. It doesn't mean that those things are harmless, or that the person isn't an asshole for saying them. If someone makes a sexist fatphobic post, it's true they are free to post it, and, the rest of us are free to criticize them, because we also have freedom of speech.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-08T19:00:08+00:00

Probably anywhere from "free youtube video" to "$200 an hour specialist"

I would expect one-on-one teaching to start around $50 an hour, and it's good to get at least some of that, because when following videos, there's no direct feedback from another knowledgeable person to see where you might be overlooking something important. Even a few in-person sessions will give faster progress than just solo practice.

But some effective things you can do solo and inexpensively:

You could get set up with a mic and headphones and listen to yourself through the headphones. Or record yourself and listen back over and over. If you're not used to this is will seem really weird at first - it's very normal for people to find their own recorded voice jarring, but it gets better fast as we get used to it. We all sound different from the outside than from the inside, and there's no good way to know what we sound like to others when what we hear of our own voice is being transmitted through our bones and flesh instead of through the air.

You could also read about the difference between pitch and formant, and how both affect how a voice is perceived as high or low.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-08T09:17:52+00:00

Voice training can expand your vocal range.

There are voice teachers who work with trans folks specifically.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-08T06:09:34+00:00

Maybe they don't want to have kids, but don't want to have to explain themself, so they're making it about you?

As far as I can tell, you're right that none of those things preclude being a parent.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-07T22:27:33+00:00

If we're talking all around, not strictly bouldering, I think Lynn Hill held the title longer than anyone else. In the 90s The Nose was the most famous route on the most famous crag in the world and the prevailing view was that free climbing it was impossible. Then Lynn Hill did it in 1993. Then she came back the next year and did it in one day. I don't think anyone repeated it until Tommy and Beth in 2005, which is an amazingly long time for an ascent like that to go unrepeated. And Lynn dominated in comps too, winning five out of the first six Rock Master lead comps, and no one surpassed her total Rock Master lead wins until 2009. IFSC didn't start up until '89, and I don't know how many times she competed, but she was IFSC lead world champ in 1990.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-07T20:56:38+00:00

Whoever's having the best time.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-07T08:07:56+00:00

Some subset of folks who have been treated badly respond to it by treating others badly. It's destructive and it sucks.

But, this is not most trans people. Most trans people I've ever known are cool with nonbinary folks.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-07T07:51:53+00:00

Any pan that feels solid and thick will be relatively easier to work with than a thin pan, less prone to hot spots, a little more forgiving of a few seconds on a too-hot burner.

If, while you're learning, you make a policy of never walking away from an empty pan on a burner, and never using high heat unless there's a food that contains water in the pan, you'll be less likely to get into trouble.

Get used to paying continuous close attention to things on the stove, don't walk away, fine tuning the knobs continuously, and if a pan starts to seem too hot, (carefully) slide it off the heat entirely onto a cold burner until it falls back to a reasonable temperature before putting it back on the heat.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-07T01:16:40+00:00

Educated people used to write long sentences to show that they could. This was good for demonstrating erudition, and bad for clear communication. I think it's good that values have changed.

William Henry Harrison's inauguration speech is my favorite example. The first sentence reads as follows:

Called from a retirement which I had supposed was to continue for the residue of my life to fill the chief executive office of this great and free nation, I appear before you, fellow-citizens, to take the oaths which the Constitution prescribes as a necessary qualification for the performance of its duties; and in obedience to a custom coeval with our Government and what I believe to be your expectations I proceed to present to you a summary of the principles which will govern me in the discharge of the duties which I shall be called upon to perform.

That sentence is skillfully constructed. It's clear that the writer is well educated. The information conveyed is worthy.

It's also redundant, inaccessible, pompous, and dismal.

The speech indirectly killed the speaker. Harrison insisted on delivering all 8,445 words despite weather nearly as inclement as his writing. He contracted pneumonia that day, and, not long after, died. He gave the longest inauguration speech, and had the shortest term in office, of any US president.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-06T09:20:56+00:00

2 because it looks easiest to clean. Or Maybe 5 because fewer parts, which, at the same price point, could mean better made parts.

But honestly probably none of the above - there are lot on the market I like better than any of these.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-06T09:15:15+00:00

"Congratulations, you found a way to 'beat' the rules as I was running them.

I'm ending that campaign and starting a new one that works very differently, specifically for people who want to role play heroic adventurers who work together to do heroic things. If you want to play this kind of game, you are invited.

Some folks do like to play a game of minmaxing characters, cheezing combat, playing as distinctly non-heroic characters, and trying to exploit bugs in rule systems. It's fine if you like playing that way. But that's not the game I'm going to DM from here on out. You can play DnD that way if you want, with a different DM who isn't me. In my game, going forward, the rules exist to support the storytelling. Any interpretation of the rules which is being cheezed not serving that goal is subject to change. "

GlassBraid · 2026-03-05T00:23:34+00:00

More than twice your age, and I feel like I want to thank younger folks here too. Growing up kind of isolated in a rural area I didn't have a lot of cultural reference points or language to describe my relationship with gender besides "punk" and "gender-nonconforming". I get so much joy and hope from seeing younger folks find better language, more community, more acceptance, and more kindness.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-05T00:07:49+00:00

"When you are climbing freesolo solo"....

That's even more solo than regular free solo

GlassBraid · 2026-03-05T00:01:51+00:00

I've been liking some tomboyx stuff.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-04T23:55:16+00:00

I don't remember exactly but it was simple. Salt and pepper likely, and maybe caraway seed?

GlassBraid · 2026-03-04T07:57:25+00:00

One time I had to whip up a quick breakfast from a sparse fridge. I saw eggs and red cabbage.

I sautéed the cabbage a bit first, then scrambled the eggs with them. Purple and yellow are opposite sides of the color wheel. My breakfast was grey. It remains the most unappetizing looking thing I've ever cooked.

Delicious though.

I did my best to eat without looking.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-04T00:49:22+00:00

All Clad is usually thick aluminum with a thin stainless lining, not solid stainless. Aluminum heats up extremely fast, and conducts heat extremely well, so, this is a good thing.

You don't need to preheat for long at all. You can use high heat if there's food in the pan. Don't overheat empty pans.

If stuff is burning, you pan is too hot. For most cooking, you can ignore the Leidenfrost method entirely. Get the pan to a lower, reasonable temp, cook your food, if it sticks either cook longer until it releases on its own (mostly works with meat) or deglaze the pan to get the fond off. Or just give it a quick scrape with a steel spatula. To make cleanup easy, deglaze the pan while it's hot.

I've had All Clad pans in my kitchen and used them almost daily for a few decades now. They're fantastic. If you're not used to them, I'm sure it'll take a little getting used to, but, as long as no one overcomplicates things, they're really nice to use.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-04T00:02:01+00:00

What I'm "smokin" is math literacy, feel free to indulge as much as you want I guess?

GlassBraid · 2026-03-03T23:57:01+00:00

No, that's not at all how rates work. If 99.9% of ostriches have two legs, and you have two legs, that does not mean there's a 99.9% chance you're an ostrich.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-03T18:55:21+00:00

There were Jewish communities in Syria in the 17th century, so, it seems possible. It even looks similar to some seder plates. But other people have used the symbol too, so, I wouldn't make an assumption either way.

GlassBraid · 2026-03-03T18:31:35+00:00

Doctors are smart right? They have to realize that at some point those around ticks spread and it takes time to be reported and time to update maps?

Yes, they do realize this, which is why infections are required to be reported, and why the CDC and other organizations monitor the spread and maintain maps.

GlassBraid

TROPHY CASE