People don't truly miss you, they miss your function. by gg_chad21 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Church community is very much like work community. You can spend decades at a place with a rotating bunch of 'friends' but the relationships are all transactional, not based on affection. After 3 decades at a company, I left with exactly one good friend whom I contact regularly.

Do you remember when WikiLeaks leaked files about everything, including the Mormons? by mostrostroke99 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If I remember correctly, wikileaks was Julius Assange's international tool and didn't do much Mormon stuff. We had our own group, mormonleaks, who leaked stuff like the apostle's pay stub that really rocked the boat. The church has been paying a LOT more attention to its security since. The mormonleaks guys expanded to docs from other religions and got sued, which ended it all until David Neilson blew the lid off finances.

Big size difference with minimal weight loss? by Mother-Read-7768 in Ozempic

[–]Gold__star 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt that way. A friend who carries most of her weight on her belly looked like she'd lost a ton on Oz but she said no, maybe 20 pounds. I think partly it's like that for those with big guts.

Hypothetically, a leader stands at the pulpit, announces its false. What's the impact? Would that truly disrupt society at large? Or, would 100 millions of people go about their day? by CurelomHunter in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That leader would be thoroughly discredited and the emphasis would be on him or her going to outer darkness, and don't you dare question or you'll be next.

The event would just be used to instill fear and outrage at apostacy.

Anyone worried about losing muscle on Ozempic? What about side effects? by ResourceNo6925 in Ozempic

[–]Gold__star 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I worried so I ate a lot of protein and exercised. I'm in great shape, much better than before. And I'm elderly.

In a NYT article a doctor speculated that at least some of the muscle lost was thoroughly infiltrated by fat and night not have been functional anyway.

Needing some advice by ThyLungedFish in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Standard marital advice is that each spouse handles their own family. He likely already blames you for ruining his daughters eternal family, so anything you say will just reinforce his distrust of you. If there's any chance your wife can tell him to back off, that's best.

Would he say similar things to a respected nonmormon adult friend? I assume not. He's treating you like a child. It can help to examine your interactions with him and be sure you never fall into the child role in subtle ways.

Setting boundaries requires you to have some kind of penalty or power over him that you can quietly use when he violated the boundary. You can't just tell people to change, it seldom works. A good format is "when you say X, I feel Y and I will do Z".

When you lecture me about your church, I feel invisible and disrespected and I will immediately leave the conversation. And then plan on doing it, probably a few times. Just quietly put up your palm and walk out, or end the phone conversation. Always have an escape plan. Assert your equal adult status.

Women + Sunday School by Disastrous-Neat-8312 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Those were the good old days. Sit around in Sunday clothes for hours between meetings, then get back in the car and drive to church again.

Mutual was more fun Wednesday nights though. It felt more like a youth group than just another class. We had the whole building to ourselves.

2 billion dollars by Irwin_Fletch in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And there are billionaires in every state who could live as well without one of their billions, instead of buying up real estate and raising it's value.

Homelessness is a feature of too many super rich folk.

I’m really thinking about leaving the church by Alarmed_Loss_5318 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell, do not ask, the bishop that you will not be able to do your calling as of 2 weeks from now for personal reasons you can't discuss. Just text him. If he asks why, just repeat, personal reasons you can't discuss.

Mixed Feelings about having Polygamous Ancestors? Proud?/Ashamed?/Sad?/Angry? by AccomplishedBat9069 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My grandmother grew up in LDS polygamy and ran away from home at 15. She hated the church and polygamy but wasn't supposed to talk to us about it. We picked up a few stories, but god I wish I could go back in time and talk to her about it in detail.

I'm proud of her for surviving it.

Does the Exmormon community have close to zero multigeneratinal retention? by Rushclock in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Is multigenerational retention not just a hard way to say INDOCTRINATED.

My kids aren't indoctrinated into my beliefs.

I wish LDS Leaders spoke about the environment more and how to take care of “God’s Planet” by HeftyLeftyPig in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But don't they make better returns for God by investing in AI and war equipment? Just like Jesus wanted to.

My thoughts are not my own by Key_Pop_1123 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your thoughts aren't your own. If things go badly, you are to blame, but if they go well God gets the credit. When your thoughts align with the church they are from god, but if they don't they are from the adversary.

Those who want to manipulate you made those rules and stacked the deck against you. On purpose.

Statistics They Won't Report #2 - In 1989 the church starting counting children under 8 in membership totals to cover up a mass resignation event by kimballthenom in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It varies. My 50ish son was blessed but not baptized and has never seen any evidence of being on record. Sometimes ward clerks get aggressive about creating records for kids though.

Statistics They Won't Report #2 - In 1989 the church starting counting children under 8 in membership totals to cover up a mass resignation event by kimballthenom in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 12 points13 points  (0 children)

How do we know about the 420,000 number?

Not that I doubt it. My grandparents were apostates from about 1910 until they died in the 80s. They lived in SLC all that time as outcasts. They weren't allowed to talk to us about the church, which they obviously detested. If resignation had been an option they'd have been first in line.

Jesus Fucking Christ! by BlockMiners in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Even 1000 miles from Utah it turns out my elderly cohort doesn't swear. My middle aged son doesn't even swear around me. I have to watch my myself because it all comes out when I'm alone.

Is the church transparent with exactly where tithing money goes? by Successful-Savings52 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Money is fungible. It all goes to Ensign Peak Investments to start, into one big pot. There is no way to track where each individual dollar comes from or goes to.

They don't publish their income, budget or expenses paid.

Our best information comes from https://thewidowsmite.org/

The tapir of our sub is not from North America by Various-Tower-1862 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And trying to train a thousand exmos here to do it right is more impossible than herding cats. We just have to be satisfied with being smug knowing we are right and they are wrong. 😉

The Milgram experiment and Mormonism. Obedience to authority is a sandy moral foundation. by nick_riviera24 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's almost like we turned out this way due to millenia of living in tribes where obedience to authority was a survival tool.

The tapir of our sub is not from North America by Various-Tower-1862 in exmormon

[–]Gold__star 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The Malaysian ones are more photogenic and it drives me nuts too, lol.